Why Men Pull Away, What It Means, & What To Do When It Happens

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It’s a hot topic of discussion with your girlfriends: why men pull away.

It can be incredibly confusing, you and your girls agree. Maybe you’re currently dealing with this situation.

Things were going great for a while. You were sure that he was into you. You went on dates. Maybe you even got busy in the bedroom. You started imagining the potential of a future with this guy.

But all of a sudden…He’s texting you less.

He’s unavailable to go out with you as often.

He seems unhappy all the time.

Then suddenly he tells you he “needs space…”

What the #$^! does that mean?

… is he trying to end things?

… are you doing something wrong?

… does he really just need space?

…how much space does he need, and for how long?

When women hear a guy needs space, they typically rush in to try and fix things.

In this video, I explain three reasons why men pull away and why a guy might say he needs space, as well as what you can do about it.

A sudden shift in your man’s behavior can send you into panic mode, especially if you’re starting to really care about this guy.

That’s totally normal.

But by understanding why men pull away, you can know if he just needs to recalibrate how he sees your relationship (i.e. he didn’t plan on being in a serious one, but he’s starting to care for you, so he has to figure out if he’s ready to fully commit), if he’s overwhelmed with other aspects of his life, or if he’s simply indicating that he is ready to move on from you.

Trust me. You’ll want to know the reasons why men pull away so you can do what’s right for you and your emotional needs.After you watch this video, you’ll know how to handle it when a guy tells you he needs space, and why he’s saying it in the first place. You never know: it might be the single best thing to happen to your relationship.

Your Coach,

 

 

 

 

Summary

There’s nothing more frustrating than when someone you really care about starts to slip away. When something feels like it’s breaking or slipping away, people naturally want to fix that problem.

But as you probably have realized, you can’t always fix what’s wrong. If a man needs some space, you can’t just say three magical words to get your relationship where you want it to be.

You can’t put a Band-Aid on what’s wrong.

Love doesn’t work that way. Relationships don’t work that way. You need to learn how to understand where he’s at and where he’s coming from so that you can give him what he needs, even if that’s a bit of distance from you for a while.

Let’s dive into understanding why men pull away so that you can figure out what to do.

Reason #1 Why Men Pull Away: They’re Stressed

stressed man

If he’s stressed, he may pull away.

It can be easy to assume that whatever’s causing him to distance himself from you has to do with you.

Did I annoy him with my stupid jokes?

Did he hate that I don’t flush the toilet after nightpees?

Does he hate my friends?

Is he seeing someone else?

Not to worry, Sexy Confident Lady. You are not necessarily the cause of what’s eating him.

In fact, it would do you well to remember that you aren’t the center of his world. Nor do you want to be.

A common reason why men pull away or say they need space is that they’re really stressed out. There’s something stressful in their lives like their family, or maybe it’s something with work.

Consider what’s going on in his world. Has he been working 70 hours a week? Is a family member ailing? Does he have baby mama drama?

Any of these is enough to wreak havoc on anyone’s life. And he may be dealing with his stress by pulling back from you.

Research from University of Vienna psychologist Claus Lamm and his team discovered that men and women deal with stress quite differently.

Men go into a “fight or flight” mode, and to conserve their energy, may ignore the needs of others (including you). In other words, men who are stressed out become more self-centered, and want to get back into their own space and deal with it on their own.

Women have a very different reaction to stress. They use a “tend and befriend” approach to try to get to the bottom of why they are stressed. Women want to feel closer to the people in their lives when they’re feeling stressed out.

So you might not understand why men pull away when they’re stressed because you yourself would have a very different reaction to the same situation.

Chalk it up to the whole Mars/Venus thing.

What You Can Do

Realize that he doesn’t need you to solve the problem of whatever is stressing him out. You can’t cut down on his work hours. You can’t heal his dying grandfather. What you can do is be a good partner. Understand that he needs space right now, and don’t take it personally.

When he asks for space, I recommend you give him a gap week. If you start feeling him pulling away or trying to create space for himself, give him a week to figure it out on his own.

Of course, when you talk to him or text him, let him know that you’re there for him but don’t push him to see you or do anything for you.

After a week, you can say something like this:

Over the past week, I’ve been noticing that you’ve been a little distant. I thought we both should have some space, so I backed off. But I wanted to just make sure everything is all right. I really care about you and just want you to be happy.

This shows him that you’re not trying to make this about you and that you are there for him, however he needs you.

If after a week he’s still distant and the problem continues to persist, it’s time to have a real conversation about what’s going on. If the stress in his life hasn’t evaporated or resolved, ask what he needs from you right now.

It may be a hug or someone to talk to.

It may be more space. Are you okay with that?

Do your best to give him what he needs during this difficult time. If a man needs space, it is not up to you to fill it. Give him that gap week so he has time to figure out how to handle his stress, and trust that he will come back once he’s worked through it.

Reason #2 Why Men Pull Away: He’s Unsure of How to Transition to Commitment

scared man

He may not know how to express his true feelings.

While the first reason had absolutely nothing to do with you, this one does, but it’s a good reason why men pull away.

He may have started dating you casually, thinking it would stay light and easy. But over time, he may have started having feelings for you. He might even be falling in love with you.

And that freaks him out.

So what does he do? What any man would do. Pull into his turtle shell while he figures out what the hell is going on.

One minute things are all casual, and now I can’t get that girl outta my head. WTF?? Are my days of being a swinging bachelor drawing to a close?

If he’s already started having real feelings for you, not to worry; he’ll come around. He just needs to work through how his perspective of your relationship has changed as his feelings have increased.

He may worry that getting serious with you will nip his independence, so he may suddenly start making plans with his boys more than usual. Certainly, he should keep spending time with them, even as you move into a long-term relationship. Let him know that you want him to always have separate interests from you so this doesn’t scare him so much.

He may pull away because he worries things are moving too fast. If they are, reassure him that you’re willing to take things slow. Because: if it’s real, it’s worth taking your time.

What You Can Do

If he’s been burned in the past, he may pull back because he worries about being hurt again. Understand that it can take time to let go of pain from past relationships. Be patient, but also encourage him to talk about what worries him.

He may not know how to talk to you about his fears, so maybe open up about your own. You’re probably scared of getting hurt. Of caring more than him. Of repeating past mistakes. Tell him, and he may find it easier to share in return.

Reason #3 Why Men Pull Away: They’re Ready to Move On

breakup

He may be ready to move on.

Now, I know this is the reason why men pull away that you don’t want to consider, but if it’s the one that’s ringing true for your situation, it’s better that you know now so you can move on with your life.

The fact is: 99.9% of the men you date are not going to be right for you. There’s a reason they call it “The One.”

So you can’t be hurt if this guy is pulling back because he’s already figured out that the two of you are not written in the stars. You’re less Romeo and Juliet and more Brangelina. Less Barack and Michelle and more Ike and Tina.

It’s better for your relationship to end on a relatively good note than to wait until it deteriorates into fighting, lying, and misery.

This guy is doing you a favor, really. Yes, it sucks, and it hurts your feelings because you thought there was potential there.

But it takes two to have a loving relationship. If he doesn’t see that there’s a future with you, then he’s absolutely right. The sooner you can accept this, the sooner you can move on and find the one guy who’s waiting for you.

Most men won’t be brave enough to have a sit-down conversation about why you’re not compatible, especially if you’ve only been on a few dates. This guy may opt to ghost, because, in his mind anyway, it’s less messy.

What You Can Do

The best you can do here, once you’re sure that he’s moving on, is just walk away. Resist the urge to have an “exit interview” to understand what you did wrong.

Probably nothing.

But people have a gut instinct about whether someone will be a good partner or not. Your “true love radar” may be broken right now just because you’re so eager to find it. And so maybe you ignored signs that he wasn’t right for you because you wanted him to be.

Honey, no amount of ignoring those signs will make him be right for you. Trust that.

You deserve to be with a man who so completely fits you that you can’t believe you ever settled for good enough. So free up the energy you’re wasting trying to make this guy fit into that true love profile in order to be available for love to find you.

Conclusion:

emotionally distant

Get to the bottom of why he’s pulled away.

I want you to walk away from this article understanding that the reasons why men pull away rarely have anything to do with your flaws. You are amazing.

In the early days of a relationship, it’s easy to want to get things right. You don’t want to risk turning him off by being your usual loud, sarcastic self.

So you second-guess everything you do, and you read too much into his every move.

But trust me: you’re better off being your morning-breath yoga-pants-wearing curse-like-a-sailor self than pretending you’re some dainty flower.

Because the man who wants to be with you forever — whether he needs some space for himself from time to time or no — will love you because of all those things, not in spite of them.

And if he chooses to walk away, it’s not because of any of the things you’re insecure about. It’s because you’re not right together.

So understand that why men pull away and why they need space doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is DOA. It may mean he’s comfortable enough in your relationship to have some distance…or he doesn’t know how to talk to you about what’s in his head.

The best thing you can do…the best way you can be an amazing girlfriend…is to give him that space. Swallow those insecurities and wait it out. There’s a good chance he’ll fly back eagerly into your arms after he’s processed whatever he’s going through.

And if he doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be. Plain and simple.

Editor’s note: Ready to attract love with a proven strategy? Watch this free video to learn the 7 powerful steps

While you’re giving him the space he needs, let’s work on making you more confident, Sexy Lady. Join the Sexy Confidence community and get your hands on valuable resources that will make you a better partner.

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Jayne
6 years ago

I just met a guy, he seem really nice. But was upset with me when he felt I wasn’t making an effort to meet him. I explained that between work and going to the gym my week is pretty busy , but there’s the weeekend. Well I did make time on a Tuesday we had dinner and it was fun. Now, I haven’t heard from him. I did text after a week and still no answer. So I kind of left it alone. What was that about? Thank you

4 years ago
Reply to  Jayne

Mine its a bit different we don’t talk and even if we try it’s never enough he ask me for space last night and im ready to give what he want hoping for the best.

Venus
6 years ago

Thank you. .ur great xx

Melissa
6 years ago

Hmmm I like the idea of a gap week. Too often in the past, I too, have been one of those ladies who rush in to try and ‘fix’ whatever is bothering my guy. And yes, usually to my detriment 🙂

That said, if someone starts the distance thing early on in a relationship, how should you handle it? I mean if he disappears, saying “I need some space”, if you ignore him/leave him be for a week, how do you pick up again?

Jenny
6 years ago
Reply to  Melissa

Okay, I’ve been here before and, ironically, the man I’m now with used to be my relationship guru (great at advice, but not interested in making it his thing). When I was first getting used to giving guys space, I used a list that went something like this: 1) What is his work schedule like right now? 2) Is he going nuts because of someone/something at work? 3) On a scale of 1-10 how chatty and/or extroverted is he on average with 1 being super quiet and 10 being nonstop? 4) Has he been really busy lately? 5) Have I… Read more »

Avi
4 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

What if I have a skin tag on my breast I need to be cut off? I’m scared to do it myself and i think it would be easy for him. Is this creepy?

Lisa
4 years ago
Reply to  Avi

Yes.

Jo
4 years ago
Reply to  Avi

Yeah, that’s creepy. Have a doctor do it if you can’t.

Audrey Lancaster
6 years ago

Sorry but my comment is different. On Feb 13th my fb came back to me (we’d been on and off for nearly 4 years) said he loved me (I’m sure he did) and wanted us to be together. He wanted to make me happy and look after me. Stupidly I said that I’d been told about another couple with a similar age gap and said the husband was looking after his ill wife (she’s 25 years older). Now I am fit, go to the gym regularly and eat well. I do not look old enough to be his mum (I… Read more »

Holly Turner
6 years ago

Hoping to see results for the long-term, by giving the gap week a try. My man and I have been on again, off again for 2 1/2 years. It’s more painful each time it becomes off again.

6wastedyears
6 years ago
Reply to  Holly Turner

Leave him! Ex’s are meant to stay ex’s that’s why they are your ex. If the relationship still is on and then off it’s going to hurt every dang time, trust me I’ve been there for 6 years. It’s horrible and it leaves you completely broken. So daily tell yourself he doesn’t love you and you don’t love him. Delete pictures, songs, anything that reminds you of him and if you want to still be friends with him, well remember that he is only a friend and nothing more. He might make you happy at times but is it worth… Read more »

Brandy
5 years ago
Reply to  6wastedyears

Yes. I agree. Life is soooo short. If you continue to put your everything in a relationship that is destined for failure, you may not have anything left for the one who does deserve your everything when the time comes. It takes time (sometimes a whole buttload, sometimes you’ll blow your own mind how quick you’ll get over him) to heal from the pain of having to call it quits. Move on girl….the sooner the better…..and the sooner you can begin to find yourself again and start being happy.

Gina Hilderbrand
6 years ago

Love all your great advice. So glad I found you!!!

Jenny
6 years ago

Having read everyone else’s comments, I’m beginning to think that I’m the odd one out. I probably take as much space as he does because there are times when I need to be alone to do my own thing. Since both of us initiate alone time, I’d have to say we mutually have down time for a few days and then come back without feeling like anything is wrong (typically). On rare occasion one of us will do a double check on the other if it seems like more time than usual has passed and verify that all is well.… Read more »

Gina
6 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

Good advice. Time to yourself to do your own thing will recharge your batteries and make you a better partner.

Katy
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

I think you’re absolutely right that a few days space is healthy for both partners. It gives each person a chance to focus on their own needs and interest. However, how much space is too much? Sometimes the gulf becomes to wide. My on and off boyfriend’s latest need for space (he never actually says he wants space, just stays away and only messages) is 3 weeks now! Bear in mind he lives 5 mins up the road so… I know he’s dealing with anxiety and stress and financial issues and I’m trying to be there for him, but I… Read more »

Ellen
5 years ago
Reply to  Katy

If he wasn’t there fior you for surgery, what else is there to know?
Say goodbye!!

Chosen
5 years ago
Reply to  Ellen

Indeed ❤️❤️❤️

6 years ago

My guy told me he can’t “do” our relationship anymore (on & off for 4 years) because he is afraid my poison, narcissist mother will interfere with us. I’ve had zero contact with her for 4 months now to preserve my sanity and love relationship. He says there is nothing I can do to get him to stay in the relationship. I really love this guy. I’m 56 and he is 63. Help!

Anita
6 years ago

My boyfriend and I live together. His ex girlfriend showed up and even though they are just friends he never got that closure he needed. He has seen me been with me spent some time with me and tells me he loves me and thanks me for giving him time. He tells his family I am still his girlfriend and he has 99%of his clothes and belongings at our apartment and stays at his mom’s in the same apartment complex He assures me he is coming home just needs a little more time. He hugs and kisses when he leaves… Read more »

James Willey
2 years ago
Reply to  Anita

He tells me he respects me that I am not a materialistic kind of woman and have a heart of gold
I tell him I am so proud of him and I to respect him .I try to be so very positive with him
He also feels guilty about his past and I try to tell him he can’t change the past but only move forward and start fresh with those he shut out

Candace
6 years ago

How much space? And when is it okay? What if it happens frequently? When does it become a cop out not to deal with any real situation. We have been in a relationship for 8 year and my kids are involved, he lives with us..we are a “family” I have strong feelings that I don’t want my kids to see a man walk in and out of my life whenever he wishes, when times get tough. I fell like someone who loves you as a partner wouldn’t always just up and leave when he couldn’t handle it. Am I being… Read more »

Renee
5 years ago

ive been in a 32 yr marriage and he just wont speak to me weeks on end. Only because he doesnt want tio answer any questions I have ie: where were you Friday night I never got an answer or call from you, nows its Saturday and all he says is hi baby you tried calling me sorry my phone was dead or some other reason. He says he doesnt want a divorce but i feel disrespected and ignored. What should i do I feel he is Narssasatistics and doesnt consider my feelings adaquit? What am I going to do… Read more »

Renee
5 years ago
Reply to  Renee

APRIL 6, 2018 AT 4:21 PM Your comment is awaiting moderation. ive been in a 32 yr marriage and he just wont speak to me weeks on end. Only because he doesnt want tio answer any questions I have ie: where were you Friday night I never got an answer or call from you, nows its Saturday and all he says is hi baby you tried calling me sorry my phone was dead or some other reason. He says he doesnt want a divorce but i feel disrespected and ignored. What should i do I feel he is Narssasatistics and… Read more »

Rachael S
5 years ago
Reply to  Renee

Hi, 9 years marriage he works away 4 month at a time. He returned home and was home 2 days said he needs to clear his head .. 7 days later nothing. He said he loves me and that he only wanted a couple of days. I have been insecure and looked for reassurance when he is away and he did this, like i thought nay husband and wife does. He said I hurt him when i said this and that we are just going around in circles. He is my world, we have two kids from my previous ex… Read more »

Leo
5 years ago

Hi I need some help… My boyfriend and I have been together for 6months and we spoke to each other everyday without fail since we only got to see each other twice a month due to distance and work. But he started pulling away early May and I decided to give him some space and this is his reply to my text about giving him space “Hey, I know I have been a bit of a dick the last couple of weeks. I’m really stuck in this bad headspace, don’t enjoy much anymore. I feel empty. Don’t really know what… Read more »

Liz
5 years ago
Reply to  Leo

How did this end up? I’m experiencing something similar after 4 months. We also only see each other twice a month. He’s been less “chatty” the last week, then turned down seeing each other this coming weekend stating he thought I needed a rest weekend (I’ve got a lot going on with work, school and family so that’s a reasonable thought) and he needed to work on his house. I felt disappointed and said I’d let him message me when he had time rather than distracting him from what he needed. I have heard nothing from him in 3 days,… Read more »

Ti sinite
5 years ago

My ex started off very loving and caring, would even remind me to talk to him every day so our relationship grows. After a couple months, I noticed changes. He pulled away. He ignores me… I sent him a loving texts and waited for weeks for his replies. It took him a month to read and would ignore to reply. This happened again and again. Until I must find out the reasons behind the scene. I found him posted in public about wanting to do a single ladies morel hunt next season in Kansas. He said ” hmm…find a woman… Read more »

Corinne
5 years ago
Reply to  Ti sinite

I couldn’t agree with you more! BELIEVE ME! I made the biggest mistake of my life re-locating to be with a loser who totally fooled me in every way. 19 years of MISERY. After extensive research and LOTS of reading, I have come to the conclusion he is a narcissistic sociopath. NOT GOOD! My goal in life is to warn women NOT to do what I did.

Nia
5 years ago

I am seeing this guy who is a Pastor. We went out a few times and we talk and text all the time. He told me that I am very special to him truly, and he does care for me. But he also says it’s still a process on his end for several reasons.. I don’t understand what that means. Can someone give some meaning to this.

B
5 years ago

ok, so I have been seeing this guy for about a month now, and we have been talking every day and seeing each other sometimes during the week and mostly on weekends since both our schedules are packed due to work and gym life after that. I’m pretty respectful of giving space but I always initiated everything like “want to get together this weekend” or something like that so he says “yes, of course” .. so Friday I may have had too much to drink but i know that wasn’t it because it wasn’t his first time seeing me drunk… Read more »

Stephanie
5 years ago

My BF and I were supposed to be moving in together in two weeks, we are long distance so he worked hard to find a place for us, he was very sweet in asking for my opinion on locations and wanted to know my needs and wants in a house. We found a house and he had to move his stuff in by himself while I finished tying up things in my state. Things were going great until he disappeared for a few days, I tried to call and text him telling him if he needed space just to communicate… Read more »

Corinne
5 years ago
Reply to  Stephanie

Personally….after going through what I just went through…. I would advise you to run! DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR LIFE AND RE-LOCATE to be with him. I did that 19 years ago…. and it was the WORST mistake of my life. The other mistake was marrying him. SAVE YOURSELF!

B
5 years ago
Reply to  Stephanie

I dont think he knew u were hurting. Give him a chance

Corinne
5 years ago

How about a man who I was married to for 12 years and found out the whole time we were dating/married, he was sneaking around, cheating, talking to other women. You name it. Needless to say, he was kicked to the curb but if this is who he is…why would he EVER want to get married in the first place? I can’t even BEGIN to tell you the devastation he caused… and how I paid for EVERYTHING (living on disability) and he NEVER opened his wallet. Now? He’s spending money like it’s pouring out of a faucet, booking airline flights,… Read more »

Eva
5 years ago

Hi! I need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for many years and we have been living together 4 almost 3 years. We are also in a process of buying a flat together. Normally we r great together, the only problem is that we are both very strong headed and we can have strong debates about different things. Last week my boyfriend apparently had a bad day(he’s got a stresfull job) which ended with him having a fight with me. All of a sudden he got angry and left to our vacation appartment. Afterwards he sent me… Read more »

5 years ago

Met a man online and we hit it off we got very intense very quickly we also became very emotionally connected. We talk about everything…we send music back and forth movies everything….he’s deployed in another country right now….he always contacts me first most of the time I don’t bombard him with messages but I think I come to strong sometimes….but even still he keeps it going with me ….he also is talking to other girls too but he tells me I am the closest to him …..apparently I am too sexually charged in our discussions and I think he got… Read more »

Kay
5 years ago

I have been dating a guy for 2 months. Things seemed to be moving forward and starting to progress towards a more serious relationship. After not being able to see him for a couple of weeks due to a vacation and his work schedule, the distance actually seemed to bring us closer together. After a long weekend together again, things seemed to shift in the opposite direction. I know that he is busy with work and working longer hours than usual. His job really is stressful and on top of that, a committed relationship seems to scare him. He hasn’t… Read more »

5 years ago

I’m tired. Spent a week vacation with boyfriend of 2.5 years. I had to start a series of important surgeries right afterword (we live 300 miles apart) I knew he would need space to reestablish his life afterward but he is taking all his space and not being supportive of my situation. It hurts, but I guess its best to know I can’t rely on him to be there when I need him. He doesn’t even contact me to see how I’m doing. It’s easy to overlook the small things, but hard to look past this. We started as friends.… Read more »

Julia
5 years ago

After years of this happening to me… when a man pulls away, find a new man. I have to move on a lot

5 years ago

So I did exactly what you said not to do which was forced him to spend time with me sending himsxx. Text messages of me and erotic clothing and so I needed that would get him to spend time with me because sex is always been awesome with us but he did start to pull away and I didn’t give him his space and and watching this video I have learned. Do everything that. I’m not supposed to do. Thank you Adam. I understand. Because I’d probably keep doing it if I didn’t know that it was really as bad… Read more »

HelpLK
5 years ago

Hi…. Trying to get over the anxious feelings that space from my boyfriend is causing. We’ve been together for almost two and a half years, and he has depression. About three weeks ago I felt him pulling away so I let him. After four days of silence he texted me to see how my weekend had been and after a brief conversation I said something along the lines of “it felt like you needed some space” no answer to that message but it felt better to get it out there. Two days later he asks me to lunch (our jobs… Read more »

Allan Poshel
3 years ago
Reply to  HelpLK

I am quite a business person and my privacy is important to me. But like many people, too much business can cause various mental health problems. I pay attention to my mental health, so I had to find the right therapy. Online sessions were a priority, because it increased my privacy. You can click to read more about the platform I have chosen. To make a long story short, I can say that they are really professional people. It is a pleasure to work with such people. They help me live happily.

5 years ago

OK so I’ve been dating this guy for about a month now and we’ve gone on several dates hes been to my house once qnd 8 have been to his house once, and we go on at least 1 or 2 dates a week and text constantly but I realized and notice that he started disappearing for big chunks of time usually at night time or during the weekend and I never gave him a hard time about it but… it was always in the back of my mind so I brought it up maybe 3 weeks into it, and… Read more »

Lois
5 years ago

Can someone please explain to me how and why would a man up and leave everything at you place and vanish. I mean he was going through an issue of identity theft and got the information he needed. I ended up going with him to get the information he needed to fax off. Later on that day everything was good. He stated to me he was stressed and just not to be upset with him . Later on that day we had an issue that later on ended in an argument and I slept on the couch. He asked me… Read more »

Linda Steinkamp
5 years ago

Why do a guy wants you to open up your heart after few dates then think ok this is going well only fine out 4 months he becomes more distance . Then month later he wants be apart then 2 months later he texts you go out for breakfast as friends then movie night only fine out nothing more because he too busy in his life for a relationship . My thought on this friends with benefits , he knows I don’t roll that way ! I’m the one ends up hurting , oh he tells me that he loves… Read more »

Rita
5 years ago

Hi
I met someone a few weeks ago and now he text that he wants to be alone and that nothing I did wrong why did he do that?
so guess meant not going to see him?

Samantha Humphrey
5 years ago

I recently started dating this guy, we really connected he was saying he can see himself marrying me, how he would never hurt me, cant stop thinking about me ect to the point where he claimed he’d lost out on sleep. We still havent slept with each other as I wanted to introduce him to my son and make sure they get along before I go any further. That all went well and now hes saying he thinks we are rushing into things and how he doesn’t wanna mess things up. His last rships got all intense quick and didn’t… Read more »

5 years ago

hello my name is juanita, so ive been seeing this guy for the last 4 months, he is in the military and hes been great to me. hes such a gentlemand, he makes me feel wanted and valuedand he treats me like no other guy ever did, ive had bad expericnces when it comes to relationships, ive been hurt before and that is why i was afraid of gettting attached and fall for him even more..but after all of his attentions towards me and how caring and sweet he is with me i couldnt kepp my guard up and i… Read more »

Lennep
5 years ago

You are doing the right thing by not texting him. Even though you still care about him and think of him just pretend he doesn’t exist. Let him make all the moves. If a man wants a woman he will call her. If you call him you will never know how he really feels.

E
5 years ago

So… I met this guy on Tinder… super sweet, super cute, super genuine, and I could talk to him about anything. He told me that he wasn’t a hitter and quitter, and didn’t want to pressure me into anything, and was open to the idea of friendship even if we didn’t end up dating… he seemed really into me. When we met, we talked forever about video games, and superheroes, and general stuff, and he rarely took his eyes off of me… he knows about my previous bad relationships, and said that he wanted to try to bring some of… Read more »

John
5 years ago

Ladies – leaving us alone is absolutely the right thing to do. It may not get us back, but you don’t want us back if we don’t want to be with you. One thing is for sure: If you hound us for a reason why we’re “pulling away”, your neediness will become the reason. Remember that we aren’t like you; we are capable of honesty. If we say we’re not interested, we’re not interested. If we say we like you, we like you. Please stop overthinking everything and maybe you’ll get a guy to stick around.

Linda
4 years ago
Reply to  John

Thanks John. I agree.

5 years ago

I’ve known my boyfriend since high school weve been dating fr about 2 months now & he all of a sudden stopped taking my calls, 3 days later told me his going thru stuff… That he cant face me yet & that he hopes I will understand when he explains what’s going on. I gave him space fr a almost a week then I decided to go his place cos I have the keys to his place however I didn’t tell him. Unfortunately for me he came with his kids & he refused to talk. He recently came out of… Read more »

C
5 years ago

So, been dating this guy for ~6 months. On our first date we both knew that we were meant to be together (he told me this). Our relationship is long distance (4 hours), but most weekends we’d meet somewhere in the middle. We went on romantic weekends away, talked about marriage and kids. We both brought these topics up. We haven’t been able to see one another for about a month because we both have been either sick or busy. NBD. We’d text every day, and talk and Skype when we could. Everything seemed normal until a few days ago… Read more »

Michele
4 years ago

I’ve been talking to this guy for about a month. We have a lot in common, on various levels, we even talked about doing things together in the future. We did spend time together a few times and the last time was the best time spent together. Every time I would ask him to come over since then, he would say yes then disappear and I would not hear from him until the next day. I called him out on it and that’s when he told me he’s not sure if he’s ready for a relationship as he is still… Read more »

F
4 years ago

I’ve been seeing this guy for 5 months now. We have similar crappy past relationships and seem to get each other’s past pain. We get on so well, feel like it was meant to be. He’s recently met my children and all seems great, until my friend saw he’s on a dating site and is regularly active. I pulled him up on this and he brushed it off with he just mucks about on there, he’s not dating/chatting to anyone he says. I asked him his feeling towards me as I’m so confused. He said he’s thinks it’s moving too… Read more »

Kandy
4 years ago

I live in Houston TX & he lives in Austin TX. I’ve been dating this guy for months now and we both have kids and met each others families and kids other parents. We spend every weekend together, take trips alone and with kids. He has keys to my place and Vice versa. He asked me to move to Austin at end of school year and us get a house together. I d been applying and now interviewing with companies. Suddenly he has become very distant during the week over the last month. Text only couple times a day during… Read more »

obliviscaris
4 years ago

I tried the gap thing with my bf although it was only 3 days. I sent him the message as advised, and he didn’t know what I was talking about! Maybe he is not aware of what he is doing? I’m also very sensitive to rejection and abandonment, and I’m in panic mode all the time, and sometimes I feel I’m losing my sanity. It feels like he is avoiding me but not telling me. I knew him as an honest person. I don’t know what to do anymore.

BeenThereDunThat
4 years ago

Great advice on the video! When a person seems to available it can cause the other one to feel cramped and stifled, and it makes it easy to lose respect for you. When I notice a guy back off I back off as well-gives me time to reassess my feelings and thoughts towards him, and forces me to take more time for myself. If you don’t chase, they will start to miss you as the site says. If they’re gone too long kick em to the curb and find someone else who will respect you, want you to be happy,… Read more »

Nessa
4 years ago

Q. What If He Doesn’t Want To Talk About Whats Stressing Him Up And Gets Pissed When I Try To Help?

Tara
4 years ago

My bf and I have been together a year. We are both around 50 and have both been treated badly by ex’s. We have been very close but he pulls away a lot. He admits it’s fear. He is also dealing with some family and friend issues that have put stress on him. 2 weeks ago he disappeared all day and when I found him he was trashed drunk by 5pm and had made some poor choices. We had plans that night. For several weeks prior we had been getting closer than ever. I was upset and tried to talk… Read more »

Alexis Eunice
4 years ago

I’ve dated this guy for more than a month. He’s sweet, cute and gentleman. There are times that he’s having a mood swings which I understand because he was stressed at work. A week before our planned staycation he was distancing himself by messaging me less. We did a staycation during the weekend. We had fun and talk about things between us. He told me that he’s “unsure” of me and at the end he said “let’s see how it goes”. Right after the staycation, he just completely disappears. I tried messaging him twice but he didn’t respond to me… Read more »

Dawn
4 years ago

Want to hear the briefest parts of an unexpected love story? But first… I have never been this lost in my life! I also have never been in an affair and never thought I would. Always judged others and know it’s wrong. My divorce is final now but I was married when I met my AP. He is still married. Here’s some of our story: We were both in emotionally abusive marriages where we felt trapped and it became too much. I had been seeing a counselor for a couple months. I can’t even remember the frame of mind I… Read more »

may
2 years ago

contact priestolokun@gmail .com if you need a reunion love spell, promotion spell at work, stop a divorce, you need to get a husband then contact him he is a god on earth

Jacquelyn Yeo
2 years ago

my situation is the guy and i met talk through on-line communications. And he told me there was never even a relationship or friends and for me to give him distances because he can’t even see a friendship right now. This was after he saw one of my anxiety attacks as we are both live streamers. I stream totally different contend than he does. He never said the end but he said please keep your distances respect that please. So I quit at all cost to communicate with someone who use to want to be there for me.

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