3 Signs He Wants to Marry You; Find Out If He May Be The One

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Searching for signs he wants to marry you? Try this:

You: First comes love, then comes marr…

Him: Crickets. [Because he’s zoomed outta there.]

So many women want to know if a guy is serious about committing for the long haul, but they don’t know how to bring it up.

That’s because they know it’s a dangerous topic.

Bring it up at the wrong time, or in the wrong way, and your man gets spooked. You worry you’ll end a perfectly good relationship simply by bringing up the M word.

It’s not fair. After all, you’ve invested time into this guy. You’re ready to marry him. Why can’t you bring up the subject? What’s taking him so long to propose? Does he even want to marry you?

Not to worry: today’s video is all about seeking out the signs he wants to marry you someday, without directly asking him the question.

I’ve got a few signs he wants to marry you in the video that show you he’s making progress in the right direction (even if he’s not ready to walk down the aisle right now)…

… plus a sneaky question that will help you gauge how serious he is without setting off his marriage alarms.

Check out the video and discover the 3 signs he wants to marry you someday.

Your Coach,



Summary: Looking for Signs He Wants to Marry You

So you’ve been with this guy long enough to know that you could spend the rest of your life with him. You’ve exchanged I love yous, and things have been going well for a while.

But lately you’ve been frustrated. If you both love each other, then why is it taking him so long to propose? Why is it that every time you bring up marriage he turtles up? You’re Googling how to know if he wants to marry you so much, even your computer is rolling its eyes.

So what gives? Are you wasting your time with a guy suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome, who will never be ready to settle down? Are you giving up the best years of your life to the wrong guy?

Calm down, Princess. While maybe he will never be ready to get married, don’t jump to that conclusion just yet. He may just have trouble expressing himself, or may have a history of negative thoughts about marriage (look to his parents to see if divorce may give him a skewed idea of it).

He may not be able to come out and talk about marriage just yet, so look for these three signs that he wants to marry you instead.

1. He Says That He Wants to Have a Family in the Near Future

he wants a family

If he says he wants a family, that’s a sign he wants to marry you.

Just because bringing up wedding bells gives your guy a stomach ache doesn’t mean you can’t talk about the future to gauge how he feels.

It’s all in how you approach the conversation.t

After you’ve been dating a guy for about three months or more and you’re in a committed relationship, then you can casually ask him a question that kind of sounds like this:

I want you to imagine that you have your perfect life, everything you’d ever want. In five years, what would that life look like?

The reason why I like the wording in this question so much and the reason why it works so well is that it turns a serious question into a more fun hypothetical question. That way, you eliminate this happening:

You: So do you plan on getting married in the next five years or what?

Him: Yes…but not to you.


Bring up this conversation when your guy is in a good, cheerful mood. Don’t make it clear that you’re fishing for signs he wants to marry you; instead, use it as an opportunity to start a dialogue.

If he talks about wanting a family, that’s one of the great signs he wants to marry you! Explore that a bit. How big a family? How soon? Does it match up to what you’re looking for?

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(By the way, having the whole do you want kids conversation sooner rather than later is a good idea. It’s hard to compromise on this one, so better you know now if your answers don’t align.)

Simply bringing up the future and talking about what you both want is a great way to bond, and to slowly approach the bigger conversation: marriage.

If His Answer Isn’t Positive in the Marriage Department…

Be prepared, because bringing up the future might get you answers you didn’t want to hear. You need to be ready for whatever he says, even if it doesn’t fit into your marriage fantasy.

You might not have known that his parents’ divorce really scarred him and made him swear off ever getting married. Explore that a bit. What does a long-term committed relationship look like to him instead? He might be happy to be with you forever — and tell you so — but may be unwilling to commit to ever getting married.

If that’s the case, you have to decide whether you’re okay with that. Seriously. Give it some thought. Statistically, we’re at an all-time low in the marriage department: only half of Americans over 18 were married in 2015, compared to 72% in 1960.

Why the low numbers? I suspect it’s several things. First of all, strong ladies like you no longer have to rely on a man to bring home the bacon like your mother and grandmother did, so you have more choices financially than getting married super young and waiting on your man every night.

Secondly, more couples are choosing cohabitation instead. And only 50% of couples that cohabitate end up getting married. There’s not a lot of reason to, I guess, when you’re waking up next to this guy every morning, ring or no ring.

So if he tells you that he loves you but will never get married, you have to decide: how important is marriage to you? Is it more the idea of having a wedding that appeals to you? Maybe the actual piece of paper isn’t that important, but dammit, you want the white dress and a ring.

Here’s something to consider: more couples are having weddings without actually getting married. Say whaa? The wedding itself is just a ritual, a ceremony. Without the official marriage certificate, it’s just a fancy party. If that’s what matters to you, by all means, suggest a commitment ceremony and wear your big poofy dress.

What You Need to Do

Don’t try to tackle the entire giant subject of your future together in one single conversation. Open the door to the topic, then revisit it when the mood is right. Assess his reaction. If he breaks out in a cold sweat, back off. Or flat out ask him why he hates discussing the future so much.

You can make it clear that having some understanding of where you’re headed in the coming months or years gives you peace of mind. Nothing wrong with that. Otherwise, you’re left with a map in the dark. That’s a good way to fall in a hole!

2. He’s Committed to You and Only You

he's committed to only you

If he’s committed to only you, he may want to marry you.

If you’re looking for how to know he wants to marry you, make sure you’re at that point in your relationship where it’s even a possibility. You may have already picked out your wedding dress with a guy who you’re only seeing casually and aren’t explicitly in a committed relationship with.

Whoa, Nelly.

You might be getting ahead of yourself a bit. It’s really important to be in a committed relationship before you start thinking about any type of the serious marriage stuff. I know, I know: all you can think about is what an awesome wife you’ll make, but realize that you. Are. Rushing. Things!

And you risk scaring a great guy off.

Before you can look for signs he wants to marry you in the future, you need to know, first and foremost, that he’s committed to only you. If you haven’t had that conversation yet, it’s worth having. Never, ever assume a man isn’t dating other women unless he’s explicitly said he wasn’t.

It makes me crazy that so many women (and men do this, too) try to rush into a relationship. Now that I’ve been with my girlfriend for years, I can tell you: those first few months are magical. Savor them. Let love happen slowly.

Trying to rush to the altar isn’t going to get you what you want. In fact, the average amount of time a couple is together before getting married is 4.9 years. And waiting three years or more to get hitched decreases the likelihood of divorce by 50%.

Lesson to take away here? Trying to rush into marriage can end in divorce. Why would you take that risk, especially if you’ve already been divorced?

What You Need to Do

I know how incredibly hard it is, but I encourage you to slow your roll. If this guy is The One, no amount of pushing him will result in a Happily Ever After any faster. If he’s The One, it’ll happen.

Just be patient.

Enjoy your time with your boyfriend in the moment. Know that he’s devoted to you and only you. Feel good about that.

3. There’s Future Progression in the Relationship

taking a vacation together

Taking a vacation together is a good indicator of forward progression.

Sometimes things move slower than you’d like in your relationship, but as long as there is some type of progression, some forward motion, you’re golden.

If you want to know how to tell he wants to marry you based on future progression, consider how things have evolved over time.

Maybe six months ago, he slept over at your place once a week, and now it’s more like three or four days a week.

Perhaps he cleared out a drawer for you in the bathroom.

Then maybe you went to Greece together on vacation and posted tons of cute couple selfies.

Then you moved in together.

And you’re whining because you can’t read the signs he wants to marry you? Girl, please.

This is the type of progression you want to look out for. You’re moving in the right direction together, and that’s a good thing.

But What Happens When It Stalls Out?

Okay, so in this scenario, things have progressed up to a point, and then kind of stalled out. There’s nowhere left for your relationship to go except marriage or breakup, you feel.

I’m assuming you didn’t get this far without knowing how he feels about marriage, and I’m going to assume he indicated that he was interested in getting married (to you) one day.

So…what happened?

It’s time, my friend, to have the what’s going on? conversation.

If he gave you every indication that marriage was on the table within a reasonable timeframe (several years, let’s say), and then that seems to have vanished, you need to get to the bottom of where things changed.

Does he not feel the same about you?

Is he scared?

Again, approach this conversation carefully, because he may easily get defensive. But you have the right to know if something shifted for him so that you can figure out your next move. Stay? Go? Work to fix things?

It may be something innocent like he’s been saving up for your ring and hasn’t amassed enough cash to buy you your dream diamond.

Or something more upsetting, like he feels you’ve grown apart, and doesn’t want to get married if you’re heading for a brick wall.

Whatever his answer, you have the opportunity to fix things if they’ve gotten off course in your relationship…if it’s worth it to fix.

You may realize that you’ve been on a one-track path toward your own fantasy wedding, never stopping to realize that maybe you no longer want to be married to this particular guy. Having the idea of marriage and actually being ready for it can be miles apart.

Ask yourself: can you see yourself with this man in five years? 20? Can you see raising children together?

Don’t be surprised if your answer changed from a few months or years ago. People change. Relationships deteriorate. It’s nobody’s fault.

Conclusion: Pay Attention to Those Signs He Wants to Marry You

While you’re seeking those signs he wants to marry you, make sure you constantly do a check-in with yourself to see how you’re feeling about the subject because that can change from one year to the next.

Remember that a marriage is not a wedding. A wedding is a big party with all your closest friends. A marriage is between two people who understand that romantic love is not enough to hold them together. They are willing to put in the tears and sweat to keep the relationship solid, secure, and exciting.

Being married isn’t something you should go into lightly. Considering the high incidence of divorce, it’s worth it to take your time and be absolutely, positively sure that this is the man you want to be with for the rest of your life.

Then wait even longer.

If you want to be married, Sexy Lady, I am 100% certain that you will be. When the time is right. Rather than rushing the process, enjoy really getting to know the man you love. When you’re both ready, and when those beautiful stars align, you’ll have a wedding — and a marriage — never to be forgotten.


What do you think? Share your thoughts below...

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5 years ago

Been with a guy 10 years. No ring (other than a promise ring at 4 years) we live together and have our unstable moments possibly a little more than we should. Should I waste anymore time? If he hasn’t put a ring on my finger in 10 years, will he ever? What’s he waiting for?

Tammy williams
5 years ago
Reply to  Beittany

He hasn’t asked because u haven’t required him too. Men are like kids if you don’t let him know this is what you want he won’t push forward.

5 years ago
Reply to  Beittany

I’m interested to know, why you have stuck with him

5 years ago
Reply to  Beittany

Beittany he hasn’t asked cause he hasn’t had to. You live with him. Everything is already like a marriage but without the legality. There is no reason for him to think it needs to be any different. He may after all this time think that’s good enough. The question is do you want more? If so have you told him that? You do have to be prepared that he may not want to change anything. Then again, if you say nothing..nothing will change. Good luck. PS I wouldn’t have stayed this long. No idea how old you are, but that’s… Read more »

4 years ago
Reply to  Beittany

Ummm. You’ve given him everything he would get in marriage. Why would he bother? He knows he has your heart, your trust, everything. He doesn’t have anything to gain by marrying you. Plus, he doesn’t want to. It doesn’t take a guy more than a year to know if he wants to marry a woman. A guy who wants to marry you will not need prodding. Get out now. Save your dignity. Or regain it. You are worth more than this. Most guys know in 6 months or less if they want to marry a woman. Facts.

4 years ago
Reply to  Beittany

Dear Beittany, I wouldn’t throw away 10 years, I doubt if the people criticizing and saying leave, have had a serious relationship that long, I think you are more or less married it’s just unofficial, maybe hint heavily or make it seem like an adventure..for example go away on holiday, and come back married? The next fun thing to do, like a joint birthday party?–The social/afterparty/ hen or stag party aspect? A honeymoon somewhere you or he has always wanted to go, or an exciting experience attached?

4 years ago
Reply to  Beittany

He doesnt want to! I was with a guy and married to him and never had a ring….he didnt want to be with me so was never committed. You know the answer but looking for someone to change your mind.

3 years ago
Reply to  Beittany

Why did you give him that much of your life? You are way behind the insistence stage. Tell the guy chit or get off the pot. Ring and I do or get out.

5 years ago

Great advice Adam! Thank you 🙂
Also I think your mic is turned up or maybe your shirt is newly starched because I can hear the noise every time you moved your arms.

Michelle R Twiss
5 years ago

Love your thoughts, they just don’t apply to my age group. Slightly over 50 and raising a family is in the past. So, it makes me wonder how relevant the other two points are, given my age. Does age play a factor in the secrets of the male mind?

3 years ago

Hi Adam-
My thoughts mirrors Michelle’s as I’m in the same age bracket with similar family status.
Just broke off a four year relationship for this and a multitude of other reasons.
Thank you

5 years ago

I’ve noticed you have only spoken about what seems to be people in their 20’s & 30’s.. I would like info on 40’s &50’s please & thank you. I am 54 divorced for 4yrs & two grown children with families of their own. Thanks to you tho I’m at least able to now know that men are wired differently & that I need to not go into any relationship with emotions. Which that has been my mistake. I just never knew that. I attract men with no problem bcuz I am a confident woman & have been told by men… Read more »

5 years ago

This is surely a sensitive point of deep relationships. I like at times to just go with the flow because I’m afraid at times if I say something, I may rock the boat and adversely shift course of our dating relations. But I am prepared emotionally and otherwise ahead of time to deal with a breakup whether I’m breaking up or they’re breaking up with me. Either way, marriage or no marriage I will be just fine.

5 years ago
Reply to  DNN

Wow our message caught me! I’m in a 4 year relationship and this year we have been intimate twice! Shocking! When I ask him about this, he tells me, he is scared I may get pregnant. He is 40, going on 10, does nothing active, I am 44, working full time and doing a counselling degree, I want more, he is making me feel unloved and insecure. As much as I love him, I feel we no longer need these guys, he has never given me a key to his house. Heartless

4 years ago
Reply to  Sharan

Get out! He is wasting your time! He knew in less than one year, maybe in less than 6 months if he wanted to marry you or not. Guys know very early on. Don’t care if they’ve been hurt, divorced or widowed. They all know anywhere from a few dates to 6 months, sometimes it takes a year. Any longer than that and he’s playing you. Getting all you can give.

nassuna faridah
5 years ago

i love your approach . it has tremendously helped me so much

4 years ago

Your guy may be gay/confused about his sexuality/suffer from Erectile Dysfunction/low sex drive. Whatever it is, it is highly unlikely he will open up about it to you as he may feel embarrassed by it and also particularly because he has lied to you about it (that he fears you’ll get pregnant) rather than tell you the truth. What adult male of 40 who loves his partner of 4 years and who is 44 yrs old will be scared of making a baby with his beloved partner? And you say you have no key to his home though you’ve been… Read more »

4 years ago

Great advice, I’ll work with

4 years ago

Liar – “it’s not a reflection on you ?”. Yes it is a reflection on you. How else are you going to learn if reality is always deflected ?

4 years ago

I’ve been divorced 25 years and have two grown daughters with families of their own. I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a wonderful Christian bachelor for a year now. We both are in our early 60s and are very much in love. He expresses his love for me often, but we’ve not progressed to discussing marriage. How do I get him to discuss marriage? I think hejust hasn’t been confident enough to approach the subject. We’re not getting any younger and I’d like to “get the show on the road!” I have no doubt we are truly the… Read more »

4 years ago

Hi Barbara, I’m a 45 Christian woman and although I’m single at the moment (busy setting up a business before jumping in the dating pool – hopefully, very soon!) I’d say that bringing up marriage with a Christian guy is the simplest thing in the world. If he knows his Bible, is a God-fearing man and a true born-again (not a church-goer that prays with his lips and called himself a “Christian”) then he already knows that being intimate with someone without getting married is a sin and he already knows that God has created Eve to be a companion… Read more »

4 years ago

He’ll never do it.

3 years ago

Hi Beittany, I did the exact thing you are doing. Was with a guy for 12 years, and he never brought up marriage. He eventually cheated on me 6 months ago and I broke up with him. He was able to walk away from our relationship with no strings attached. I think a lot of men are doing this nowadays. Well, a friend of mine gave me a saying I’ll never forget: “If you can get the milk free, why buy the cow.” I’ve now learned a lesson not to jump into a physical relationship with a man until you… Read more »

3 years ago

Jane, I agree with you. I would tend to say most men wouldn’t do it especially nowadays. But a wise woman once told me that if they’re not willing to wait, they’re not worth it to begin with. And on the other hand, if a lady has physical relations with a man before marriage, he’s likely to think “Hey, if the milk is free, why buy the cow.” In other words, “if I can have free sex, why marry this woman.”

3 years ago

Oops, sorry, I posted the same info in two posts. Moderator, please delete the latter. Lol

3 years ago

Ladies, Let me give you some good advice from someone who can write a book on dating. I got married at 51 for the first time to a marriage minded man who was 3 yrs older than me. Neither one of us have children and my husband was in a long term relationship prior to us meeting (they had been broken up when I met him). Prior to that I would have some semi-long term relationships with what are know as commitment phobic wasting my time. Regardless of the situation, I always kept my own residence. I do not recommend… Read more »

3 years ago

This lady I met at the local community centre said she wanted to socialise with me because I am divorced and want to meet a man. She said she had been with a man for 22 years and always wanted to be married. It’s now been 23 years she’s always depressed has never been out with me (I don’t care) because I stopped listening to her. What is amazing is I now get to have the greatest adventures of my life I may still be single for now but at least I am doing what I love. If you want… Read more »

3 years ago

Well I know this guy I’m in love since 2013 to now we r always together n argue n he leaves n always come back He says he loves me but he doesn’t know what he wants that he doesn’t want a gf Yeah but he goes dating other girls and put that the relationship except with me what am I doing wrong !!!he seems like we’re in a relationship where we’re not I’m confuse I think he is too!!!

3 years ago

I have a boyfriend that I have been dating for almost two years now. I really want to settle down, start a family with this guy, but the only problem is, maybe it’s still a bit too early for that? I don’t know. I’m turning 30 in a few months, and I really would want to settle down already.

3 years ago

Great, thanks for sharing this valuable piece of information. Many woman can’t always determine if a man is serious in his attitude towards a woman. Your tips will certainly can help to avoid fraud in any relationship

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