20 Signs a Man Is Attracted To You Sexually: He Really Wants You

signs a man is attracted to you sexually

So you’ve met a man you are drawn to, but you’re not sure how he feels about you. You’re looking for signs a man is attracted to you sexually to figure out if this guy has the hots for you.

Let me just save you the trouble: he does!

No, seriously, I understand that you want empirical evidence that he is secretly attracted to you because then you’ll know how to act around him. Am I right? Well, I’m going to give you 20 signs a man is attracted to you sexually so there’s no doubt in your mind that he is!

Why Sexual Attraction Matters

You know I like to nerd out sometimes on science, and for good reason! It explains so much about dating and attraction.  When you consider why sexual attraction matters, you’ve got to go back eons: we’ve always been attracted to people who seem like, genetically, they’d help us create strong and healthy offspring.

While you may not be interested in reproducing with the guy you’re chatting up in the bar, you still will be sexually attracted to him, thanks to your genetics.

You Don’t Have to Be a Supermodel for Strong Physical Attraction

Many of the thousands of women I’ve coached on dating and relationships have told me, “Adam, I’m not pretty enough to attract a hot guy.”

I always tell them: it’s not about you being a supermodel. It really isn’t. It’s about finding someone you’re physically and sexually compatible with. Let’s look at science to explain.

There’s this concept called associative mating that says that people choose mates (or are attracted to) people with “correlated attractiveness levels,” according to University of California, Davis psychology professor Paul Eastwick.

So while you’re making eyes at the guy who’s just a tiny bit overweight and balding, don’t assume he’s going for the twiggy angel in the corner. He’s more than likely into you, if you just pay attention to those signs a man is attracted to you sexually.

Sexual attraction, actually, is as much about your personality as anything else. Think about it: have you ever met a man who was unbelievably gorgeous and maybe you were physically attracted to him from a distance, but once he started talking and you realized that his head was completely empty, that attraction disappeared?

Or maybe you met a guy you weren’t attracted to off the bat, who, after making you laugh so hard you peed, you found yourself drawn to physically?

It just goes to show that there are a million factors that go into sexual attraction.

20 Signs a Man is Attracted To You Sexually

Now let’s look at those signs a man is attracted to you sexually! Keep in mind that the man you’re interested in may exhibit some of these signs of attraction…or others. Everyone has different “tells!”

1. He Stays Really Close to You

close talker

When you talk, he’s on you like glue.

“That’s so interesting,” he rumbles, “Tell me more.”

He’s standing just inches away from you when he says this and is just this side of being a Close Talker. Still, you like him being in your orbit.

A man who’s not attracted to you sexually will create distance between you two, and he may cross his arms or display other body language that communicates “not interested.”

But this man can’t seem to get enough of you! Take it as a good sign.

2. He Sits With His Legs Spread

This is an interesting sign a man is attracted to you sexually because what it communicates is his manhood. Studies show that men want to establish their dominance, especially around the ladies, and may sit or stand with their legs apart. Think about what’s between those legs, and it’s no wonder he’s posturing!

A confident man may even be hoping you’ll peek at what’s happening between those legs. It’s completely up to you whether you take the bait or not.

3. He Blushes

Okay, so not every guy is an over-confident bro who’s showing off his junk like a peacock. Some guys, particularly the shy and awkward ones, may simply blush when they’re around you. Maybe he feels like you can read his thoughts, and is embarrassed at the idea.

If you’re into the silent and shy type, look for less subtle signs a man is attracted to you sexually, because you might miss these hidden clues if you’re not paying attention.

4. He Touches You Often

Now, I’m not talking a pervy ass-grab here. A man who wants you will find any excuse to touch you. He might lie and say there’s an eyelash stuck to your cheek so he can “get it” with his fingers.

He might graze your back with his palm when holding the door open for you.

He might “accidentally” bump your knee with his…and then leave it there.

Again, if this guy wasn’t into you, he’d go out of his way not to touch you.

5. He Makes Great Eye Contact

eye contact

Intense eye contact is his specialty!

You can’t remember any guy ever making such dedicated eye contact with you! Eyes communicate a lot, so pay attention to how often his lock with yours.

If you start to feel awkward at the prolonged gaze, have a little fun. Raise your eyebrow or even wink at him, and see what his reaction is.

6. He Notices Other Men Checking You Out

Men are territorial, and whether this guy is looking just for a little fun tonight or something more long-term, he isn’t going to like it if someone encroaches on what he has staked out as his (that would be you). He will be hypersensitive to any man in the room checking you out.

He might point it out to see what your reaction is. Naturally, he wants reassurance that you only have eyes for him.

7. He Talks in a Deeper Voice When You Are Near Him

You swear this guy’s voice is normally a pitch or two higher, but whenever you’re around him, he pulls out the Barry White. Once again, science explains this. A deeper voice can indicate a good partner for producing genetically healthier children, and a man with a deep voice should live longer.

Be warned, though: studies indicate that deep-voiced men may be more prone to cheating and otherwise be untrustworthy.

8. He Flirts Hard

One of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually is that he steps up his flirting game. He wants you to know, in no uncertain terms, that you have captivated him. If his interest is more physical than emotional, his flirting may lean more toward physical flirting than any other type (did you realize there were different types of flirts?). He may gently pull a curl and tease you about your hair.

He may give you some cheesy pickup line like, “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night!”

He’ll find any way he can to let you know he finds you irresistible. Enjoy it!

9. He’ll Smile a Ton

via GIPHY

You know that when a guy smiles at you a lot, he’s interested. It’s as if he knows that 71% of women list a nice smile as their most desired physical trait in a man. But more than that, it’s how he smiles at you.

Does he give you a G-rated Boy Next Door Smile…

Or an I’m-Imagining-You-With-Your-Clothes-Off Smile?

There’s a big difference between the two, as you can imagine.

10. He Stares at Some Very Inappropriate Places on Your Body

C’mon. Every woman has noticed a man staring not-so-subtly at her cleavage…or her butt. I’m sorry, but we’re not known for our subtleties! Plus, sometimes a guy wants to give off obvious signs a man is attracted to you sexually so he knows that you know.

If you’re fine with this kind of attention, lean forward if he’s staring at your chest. You could say something flirty like:

“See anything you like?”

“Hey, eyes up here, buddy.”

If you get up to go to the bathroom on a date, turn around to see if he’s checking you out from behind. If he is, you know he’s lusting after what you have to offer.

11. He Finds Excuses to Smell You

Okay, there’s definitely a subtle way to do this and then there’s the guy who leans over and deeply inhales your neck or hair. Either way, be flattered (or run): scent plays a big part in sexual attraction. While scientists are still trying to get to the bottom of this fascinating fact, the pheromones you’re putting off can make a man crazy.

While your own natural scent will do its job, enhance it with a perfume that you think makes you smell even more fab.

12. He…Um…Adjusts Himself When Near You

A man who is sexually attracted to you may…erm…rise to the occasion without meaning to, even in public. So if you notice him shifting his pants around, sitting down suddenly, or covering up his package with something to hide what’s happening, you know you’ve found one of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually.

SCHWING!

13. He Touches His Chin a Lot

man touching chin

One of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually is he touches his chin often.

I’m not really sure why men do this…but it’s definitely one of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually. If he’s got facial hair, he may be making sure nothing’s out of place with a little unconscious grooming. It may also be a nervous tick.

Pay attention the next time you’re around him and see how often his hand wanders to his face.

14. Your Conversations are Drawn Out

You: “Excuse me, could you pass me the napkins please?”

Him: “Sure. Oh, hey. Napkins. Yes. Here they are. They’re nice, don’t you think? I like thick paper napkins…”

If he’s finding an excuse to linger and talk to you more, he’s into you. This applies whether it’s a guy you’ve never even met (like in the napkin example) or a guy who can’t seem to let you go at the end of a date. In the latter case, he may be hoping you’ll invite him in.

15. He Fidgets with Things

On your date, he plays with the ice in his glass. The fringe on your purse. The coaster. You think it’s a sign that he’s completely bored, but in fact, the opposite is true. It actually is an indicator that he’s physically drawn to you and is nervous fidgeting as a result.

16. He Takes a Deep Breath When He Sees You

You know how peacocks puff out their chests and then shake their tailfeathers? Well, this guy may not have tailfeathers to shake, but he can puff out his chest in a subconscious way to make you more attracted to him. All he has to do is take a deep breath. Instant upper body showcase.

17. He Hints That He Wants You

whispering man

He’s not that subtle about his attraction to you.

Some guys are less subtle when it comes to demonstrating signs a man is attracted to you sexually. He may drop rather large hints. Let’s say you’re texting and he asks what you’re doing. You tell him you just got out of the shower. His reply?

“Mm. Now you’re making me jealous.”

Or you tell him you’re going to bed, and he says:

“Great.  I’ll be right over.”

He’s using the element of humor to test the waters and see what your reaction is. You can shut him down by diverting the conversation, but if you want to reciprocate, play along.

18. He Tries to Make Plans That Don’t Involve Going Out

So you’ve gone out a few times, and maybe you’ve kissed on the last few dates, but nothing further. Now, instead of planning another dinner and drinks date, he’s inviting you over to binge watch Stranger Things. Get a clue! If you come over, no more than 15 minutes of the first episode will be watched.

Either that or he makes the classic “wanna come over to my house for a nightcap?” move. Who has nightcaps? People who plan to have sex, that’s who!

19. He Licks His Lips a Lot

Another way a man shows you he is secretly attracted to you is in how often he licks his lips. He may be priming them for a passionate kiss with you…or thinking about what else he’d like to do with those lips.

20.  You Feel it

The truth is, you don’t need a roadmap to identify signs a man is attracted to you sexually. There’s a sort of electric energy that happens when two people have chemistry, so trust your gut on this one. I guarantee you’re not wrong.

Conclusion:

couple in grass

There’s no question: he’s got the hots for you!

Now that you know this guy wants you, the question is: what are you going to do about it? If you’re also attracted to him physically but aren’t ready to have sex, draw out the anticipation. Let him know through your own signals that you’re receptive to his advances, but let him know that you want to roll slow. Anticipation is half the fun!

The important thing is feeling safe and not rushed when it comes to having sex with a man. Do so on your terms, not his. And remember; if you want this to turn into something meaningful, it may do you good to wait to have sex.

So talk to me. What signs a man is attracted to you sexually have you noticed? Share them in the comments below.

signs a man is attracted to you sexually
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Adam LoDolce

Love Strategist

My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story

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2 years ago

I’ve been with this man now for almost 2 years how can I tell if he really wants to be with me he says he loves me how can I tell if he really does love me n wants to be with only me please help me n thanks so much hazel

Keita
1 year ago
Reply to  Haxel

Hazel watch his actions that should tell you. If you have to ask, it’s usually a sign something’s is off, because you’re questioning rather he loves you. He hasnt reassured you

ss
1 year ago
Reply to  Haxel

Im confused. You say you have been with him for 2 years but are confused about if he wants to “really be with you”? He is either with you or he isnt. You need to be clearer. Are you meaning to write that you are exclusively with him and want more of a commitment? OR, are you meaning that after 2 years he is still dating around? Because if its the latter…..if he is dating others while dating you, then the answer is easy. No, he doesn’t love you. Dump him. But if he is commited to just you exclusively,… Read more »

1 year ago
Reply to  ss

I AM DATING A GUY WHO’S 10YEARS OLDER THAN ME ..HE’S A TAXI DRIVER AND HE ALWAYS STARES AT ME .WE HANG AROUND AT NIGHT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW I’M HAVING A BOYFRIEND HE HAS NEVER TOLD ME HOW HE FEELS I JUST SEE THE WAY HE LOOKS AT ME IT’S KINDA CUTE THAT MADE ME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM ..HE ONCE SAID I LOVE YOU WHEN WERE ARGUING SO I’M CONFUSED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE I’M THE ONLY PERSON WHO’S IN LOVE ..I AM NOT CERTAIN WHEN TO TELL HIM I LOVE… Read more »

1 year ago

Busisiwe, leave him alone. He does not seem to be showing any real signs that he wants to move forward with me. You can hangout at night but does he ever want to hangout in the daytime? He could be married with kids. Guys say “I love you” all the time and it means nothing to them. He is pulling on your heart strings. Think with your mind, its more rational. Your heart will lead you to a heartbreak. Good Luck!!!

10 months ago
Reply to  Jennifer

I like this young man a lot, but not sure if the feeling is mutual. I see some of these signs from him, but other signs that sayd he’s not that into me. For example, I told him that I was going out on a date and was curious as to how he would respond….he didn’t. I mean, it was like I never said anything. He never inquired about who the lucky guy was etc. Its apparent that we have a connection when we are together….things are just easy with him and that there some physical attraction, but when I… Read more »

Joy
2 years ago

Adam I have been with this man for 9 years and I have wanted to get married for a long time but he says he’s not ready, now he says give him time. He go visit his sick sister and while there he visit his ex-girlfriend, he and she talks at least 3-4 times on the phone, he says he didn’t go out with her, but he visited her at her house. Just the other day at an event he was flirting with the woman who put the event on, she was touching him a lot but he didn’t stop… Read more »

Tuezy
2 years ago
Reply to  Joy

Yes he is visiting his ex so right there should tell you!! He doesn’t respect you! He doesn’t respect or emphasize with how that would make you feel, so guys or a lot like animals (sorry men but you know it true) you have to train them if they don’t curropurate with you then they aren’t trainable maybe it’s bc of age (guys take along time to mature) if he loves you he would be willing to go out his comfort zone he would be willing to see your side of the situation an not think your overreacting. If he… Read more »

Ian
2 months ago
Reply to  Tuezy

Tuezy, there’s really no such thing as ‘training’ a man. If he loves you, he loves you and would do all he can to show you that. He’ll stay true to himself and probably even surprise you with all that. Men aren’t really ‘animals’ or ‘dogs’ that you can ‘train’, and that’s rather disrespectful. Because ’training’ is always judgemental. In fact, if he knows you’re trying to ‘train’ him — he reads off you’re either very insecure or controlling which are things men aren’t really fond of, and if he really loves you, he’ll go on his way and use… Read more »

Alwayshere
5 months ago
Reply to  Joy

Leave him. He will drag you on FOREVER bc your easy , a backup. He says jump you say how high. Would he stay with you if you flirted with your Ex? Hell no, he demands respect. Do you?

Ashalee Renae Canavan
1 year ago

My fiance does NONE of this but says he’s attracted to me…. i doubt he does now….

1 year ago

Great piece of writing friend. I have met the girl of my dreams. she is fun, lively and most importantly has a superb dressing sense. when we talk, she touches her hair a lot but she does not seem confused or anything when we talk. she goes out with me but it is not any sort date or something due to outdoor work, we go together two 2 to 3 times in a month. I have a question; can she really be into me? I am afraid to make a move what if I have been assuming it this whole… Read more »

River
1 year ago
Reply to  Robert Wayne

Hi! I’m literally a 13 year old girl, so maybe I don’t have the best advice. But being a girl, I can 100% guarantee you that she’s into you. If she asks you to accompany her with he little things, then she wants to spend more time with you. If you think your just friends though, try asking her out to coffee or something. If she responds with a “like a date?” Then just say “if you want it to”. Remember: the most attractive thing a guy can offer is to be respectful of boundaries, and make her feel comfortable.… Read more »

Nikki
1 year ago

I am seeing a man that is spanish decent…if you dont know what that means is they are very romantic! He does alot of these things with me such as touch my face, smell my scarf as it has perfume on it, always really close to me, lingers and says I dont want to go. I am Caucasian and blonde. He stated to me that he always wanted a blonde. However, I am still not completely convinced he is attracted to me. am i crazy? I am not sure if its his spanish roots that are causing him to act… Read more »

lola
1 year ago
Reply to  Nikki

drop him, he is wasting your time, but whatever your gut tells you girl!, good luck!

Christine
1 year ago

My name isChristine I am a Christian, I have a good friend every time we spoke he wants to have sex with me and I am telling him I can’t , why can’t he understand should I stop talking to him.

Sha
11 months ago
Reply to  Christine

Well if you are not leading him to Christ. Drop your so-called “good friend.” It’s obvious your good friend doesn’t respect your stance.

1 year ago

Well what I encounter is following: it seems lot of guys are attracted to me. Apparently lot of guys see me as sexy…, and I am just a girl nextdoor type, nothing special about me and not dressing overly sexy (jeans and shirt) Ok thanks I can live with that. But till now, not a single guy was really intrested in me… and that breaks my haert… It’s like men only see me as a sexy gal, and put me in the “want to f**k” department. They openly flirt with me, I flirt back not in an overly sexual way.… Read more »

River
1 year ago
Reply to  Nathalie

Girl! I’m like 13, but sis, if they don’t see you for anything but your body, leave them. No women should be treated like a sex toy. If you want a bf that likes you for who you are, avoid the douche type. Seek out someone more playful or nerdy. If they share the same interests as you, make a move. But don’t let any man fuck you unless your ready and they like more about you than your body. If you want to test them, ask why they like you. Pick carefully, and remember, your worth so much more.… Read more »

Shelby
1 year ago

I’ve started seeing this guy casually. Over the past 3 weeks I’ve seen him 5 times. We are having sex and I’ve noticed since the first time, he says my name every time we have sex. He gives very body positive affirmations about my physical appearance (both dressed and undressed). He’s told me I’ve put him under a spell and has said a few times that he’s REALLY attracted to me. It’s obvious he into me sexually. Now to figure out if he’s interested in anything else with me.

Jenn
1 year ago
Reply to  Shelby

Sorry sweetie but if your already having sex and say it’s casual it’s only physical for him. Wake up ladies and quit giving it up to men before you have an exclusive relationship

Tia
1 year ago

My boyfriend goes its been awhile and I said o was it killing ya to go without it and he said I could go for months with out sex kinda made me feel like he wasn’t turned on by me is how it made me feel am I wrong about it or is that something I shouldn’t let bother me

1 year ago
Reply to  Tia

What do i do if the spark between me and my fiance feel dead and we still wanna be able to pleasure eachother but when i became pregnant i felt blank about even the idea of sex and now he is giving up on me because the lack of pleasure when i do try but i cant seem to push though of feeling nothing i still want to be intamate with him and i wanna be able to pleasure him and i wanna move past this feeling blank because im still in love with him but i wanna be able… Read more »

suzy
1 year ago

i like my maths sir very much whenever iask him aquestion he sits very close to meand he talks in a very polite way. is he interested in me

Mary Jewell
1 year ago

I had a serious injury and had corrective surgery. Over the past year I’ve been going to appointments for my recovery. The surgeon and I het it off right away and the feelings have seemed to increase. I’ve felt this energy like nothing I’ve felt before. Like I was high. Anyway, he was examining me and took me by the hand and ran his thumb inside my palm. I felt this meant something. So, I’m pretty sure he likes me. And I’m very attracted to him. This did start out with loving his personality and has grown, so it has… Read more »

HOLLAS
1 year ago

Hi, Woow! Just found this page.. My boy friend I love so much said he doesn’t think the relationship can work cause his not sexually attracted to me… being together almost 2years before he told me…. happened just last year December 2018… still cant get over it.. am sure he as moved on but I haven’t cause I still love him so much…. Although we hardly spend time together cause we far apart different states and his a medical doctor (O&G) … when we are together he doesn’t want to be touched that he is tried and all… not until… Read more »

Kathy
1 year ago

I see this guy at the gym, and at the pool. I never dreamed a guy like this would be into me, but I feel like he is. He gives me this stare that, he just stands back and looks deep in my eyes, I get embarrassed and have to look away. And, he bends over in my face to talk to me! And, asks if I worn out yet. And, I’ll say no not yet! How do I let him know I’m interested without him thinking I want sex.

1 year ago

I’m married but this guy I know has wanted physical contact with me when we have met up socially. It’s very complicated as he’s friends with my partner. I am very attracted to him physically too. HELP

Deb
1 year ago

Tell him it takes a little more than that to wear you out and a naughty little giggle after.. I guarantee you he will flirt with you!

Peter
1 year ago

Hello all.I am a gay man.And i experience a very powerful moment with a very handsome man. Please Allow me to explain .It occured at a social party .It had actually occured in his kitchen whist sitting at the table and he sit opposite me with no negative body reactions coming from him.I remember him talking to a guy that was standing up.But was after that things appeared interesting.It appeared he intentionally moved his eyes over to mine and in turn mine met hisand we remained locked eys for a good amount of time it seemed as tho he had… Read more »

KF
1 year ago

About one year, I met this guy at work and we started going to happy hour after work about 2 months later as friends. I tried on multiple occasions to figure out if he wanted more from our relationship but he said we are “co-workers.” After he left his job in April, I thought things may change since we were no longer working together. We still see each other about 2x per week and text everyday. We have no problem talking and can spend 8-9 hours together with no silences. He has started to open up more the last few… Read more »

Mary
10 months ago

I have a male friend and we have become real close we laugh together spend time with each other have eye contact and hug each other when we leave each other and don’t won’t to let go I’m attracted to him is he to.me

LORRA mira
7 months ago
Reply to  Mary

GURL, I have the same situation like yours! As long as he’s NOT TELLING YOU straight up that he likes you, He’s not into you!. guys like that, Likes to gave you mix signals! JUST WANTS TO MAKE YOU FALL FOR THEM FIRST!..

Annabelle
6 months ago

Hi so I’m doing a long distance relationship thing with a guy before we got together he confessed that he masturbated a few times on my picture because he was attracted to me. I only found that out once we dated. After we were official we had sex but ITs hard to explain. It felt like he wants to claim me, you know like now that we had intercourse it’s official I’m his kinda thing. I can’t escape from him if I wanted to. When we go on dates he does smile a lot & when he’s driving he grabs… Read more »

Ana
5 months ago
Reply to  Annabelle

Why are you questioning about that night still? Do you think that he’s lying to you?

6 months ago

Hi my name is Alicia and I’m 18 and my boyfriend is 17 I saw some signs that he does with me he gives me long eye contact and touches me a good bit and gets jealous when other boys are around me and we FaceTime a lot and I told him that my feet hurt and he said he wanted to massage them and something else I don’t know if he meant my breasts or what …..

Joy
6 months ago

He will hum joyfully every time he passes by me especially if he thinks I did not see him. He will also raise his voice when talking to his friends if I was around!

abriella
5 months ago

i havve a guy but he always says that was i with u ast night jokeingly i wonder does he really like me

Keria White
5 months ago

I am in a new relationship but he has said that he really doesn’t want a relationship due to the problems he had with his ex. I explained to him that I am not that type of a woman. His family is just as important to him as my relationship with him. We live together however her works long days. I do not see him alot. Maybe 4 hours at night before he goes to bed. The sex life has been great. I know he cares for me because he told me but the whole thing regarding not wanting a… Read more »

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