How to Be a High Value Woman (7 Principles to Help You Raise Your Value)

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If you’re trying to learn how to be a high-value woman, I’m going to bet that one or more men have made you feel less than that.

Am I right?

All women are created equal…

But from a romantic perspective, not all women are equal in a man’s eyes. (Hey, I didn’t write the rules. I only report on them.)

To guys, some women are “nah…”

Other women are “meh…”

And some high-value women are “HOLY crap, this woman is amazing. I need to take her home to meet my parents.”

And no, which of these three arbitrary categories a man assigns you to is not necessarily dictated by your physical looks. There are other intangible qualities that make a high-value woman.

If you can position yourself as a high-value woman, he’ll want to take you home to mom. He’ll want to commit to you. He’ll love you.

“Adam, how can I learn how to be a high-value woman? I wanna be one!” 

Not to worry; we’ll get into exactly how to be a high-value woman in this video and post. In my years of coaching women to find their one true love, I’ve seen the spectrum, from women who thought they were worthless to women who were so confident, they could attract any man. Which do you want to be?

Your coach,




P.S. Learning how to be a high-value woman starts with confidence. If you need a little boost in that department, why not join the Sexy Confidence Club?

Introduction: How to Be a High-Value Woman

You might spend a lot of energy looking at other women and admiring them for their confidence, their poise, or their sophistication. But I’m willing to bet others look at you for exactly the same reasons! It’s easier to see positive qualities in others than in ourselves.

So in reality, I’m not going to be your fairy godfather that waves my magic wand over your head and turns you into something you’re not.


What I am going to do is help you enhance what you’ve already got…those wonderful qualities that maybe you can’t quite see right now.

So the secret to learning how to be a high-value woman? Simply seeing that you already are one! With a few principles to help, you’ll soon see your own worth.

Principle 1: Don’t Acknowledge His Value


So the guy you’re going out with is a doctor.

Who saves children’s lives.

And is a volunteer firefighter in his spare time.

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Could you have won the man lottery??

The problem with dating a fantastic guy is that you might feel a little less fantastic yourself. So you have two ways to approach this.

1. You can constantly gush about how awesome he is (his high valueness). This may please him a little at first, but after awhile, he will grow tired of it. And he might see you as less valuable in comparison.

2. You can refuse to be impressed. Of course you’re dating a high-value guy. After all, you’re flipping fabulous, and you should attract a stellar guy.

Bottom line is: the less you acknowledge someone else’s value, the higher your value. If all his accolades are just meh to you (or you at least act like they are), then he’ll perceive you as equally fabulous, if not more.

Here’s an example.

I have another company where I work with wealthy people, and let me tell you: they’re always trying to impress me with their money. Flashing their fancy cars, their Black Amex cards, they let me know that they think they have high value because of their eight-figure salaries.

What do I do? I treat them the same as if they were some Joe Shmoe. I refuse to give them higher status by treating them as better than me. So what does that do? It elevates my value.

The best way to impress a rich person? Don’t be impressed by their money.

If you’re seeing an attractive guy, treat him like you would if he looked like the guy from high school that never had a date, not some Adonis. He’ll wonder who else you’ve dated to not be impressed by what most women are.

Principle 2: Don’t Try to Flaunt Your Value

The moment you bust out your Instagram account to show off that you have 200,000 followers…

…tell him you’re “kinda a big deal in my industry…”

…or tell him you have three dates this week, is the moment you’re giving away your value to him because you’re seeking his validation. You want his approval. You want to impress him.

But that’s not the way to succeed at how to be a high-value woman. A high-value woman doesn’t shout out her accolades. He finds out how successful she is anyway, without her saying a word about it. If you have 200,000 Instagram followers, trust me, he’ll find out, because he’ll be creeping on your profile.

I know you’ve done amazing things. I know you have a super cool circle of friends. Just don’t make a point of letting him know that. Let him find out on his own.

Principle 3: Remain a Mystery to Him

mysterious woman

Be a little mysterious to keep him wanting more.

Telling him your whole life story on a first date is not high-value. In fact, it shows that you’re trying to make him like you.

I get it; a lot of women simply open up easily. They’re ready to tell a guy everything from the story about breaking their leg at age two to why they got divorced.

But my advice is: be like an onion, a sexy onion (work with me here). He needs to peel back the layers gradually to get to know what you’re really about. Give him a layer here and there when he asks for it, but let the rest be shrouded in mystery.

The same goes for your social life. If he asks you out for Friday and you’re planning pedis and face masks with the girls, he doesn’t need to know that. Simply tell him you have plans. Let him wonder what you’re doing.

Principle 4: Remember, You Don’t Need a Man to Complete Your Life

You don’t need a man, you just want a relationship to supplement your already kickass life.

A man should be a nice addition to your world. He should not complete you (damn you, Jerry Maguire).

If you are living a full life with activities and people you enjoy, then you won’t be desperate to pair up and find a boyfriend. When you meet a great guy, he’ll get that about you if you’re not always available and over-eager to talk to him.

So even if inside, you’re gushing over this man, reserve a little time for you and the things you love to do. After all, you’ll still have your friends and interests down the road…the jury’s still out on whether this guy will still be around.

Principle 5: If He Doesn’t See Your Value, Then He’s Blind

I’ll be honest: not every guy will see your value. These guys aren’t the ones you need to worry about, because they’re not right for you.

Your value doesn’t decrease based on his inability to see your worth. You determine your high-value, and no one else.

Always, always demand respect. Don’t timidly ask for it. Demand it. It’s your right as a human being, and it sure as hell is yours for the taking in a relationship. And a lot of guys will try to get away without respecting you. Weed them out early and move on.

If you’re wasting your time on a man who treats you like dirt, he is not treating you like the high-value Sexy Confident lady that you are. Move on because there are dozens of guys out there who would be blown away by your magnificence.

Principle 6: A High-Value Woman Has Walking Power

goodbye woman

Don’t deal with his crap. Walk away.

Did you know you had power? Oh yeah, you totally do.

A high-value woman will walk away from a relationship if it’s not healthy for her…and men know this.

So one tip for how to be a high-value woman is to own that power. If this guy keeps disappointing you…


If he makes you feel bad about yourself…


If he doesn’t meet your expectations about what you want in a partner

You got it. Walk.

You need to have exceedingly high standards for how you are treated. Not only does that ensure that you get out of any situation when a man isn’t meeting those standards, but it’s also attractive for men to see a woman who won’t take no sh$& from a man. It makes them want to try even harder to get your approval.

Principle 7: A High-Value Woman Will Express Her Feelings to a Man…

…when he’s clearly invested himself in her.

No sooner.

So if in past relationships you’ve spouted out your emotions too soon and wondered why the guy disappeared, now you know. Learning how to be a high-value woman means reserving that vulnerability only for a man who is ready to give as much as he gets.

So let the man woo you. Let him earn your trust. Even if you are melting inside because you reallyreallyreally want to profess your undying love for him…


Waiting only makes a man want a high-value woman even more. It also gives him time to sort out his feelings. Maybe he’ll even express them first, and then you have the upper hand because you can decide to reciprocate or make him sweat. (But you wouldn’t do that…would ya?)


So you see what I meant? I didn’t give you a magic spell to turn you into Beyoncé. I simply gave you some principles you can work with to succeed in how to be a high-value woman. The foundation is already there. All you have to do is know your worth and have high standards.

So let me hear from my ladies: Are you a high-value woman? Give me a “heck yeah!” in the comments below and let me know which principle you need to work on.

In part 2 of this article, I give you three scenarios you can use to show that you’re a high-value woman. But it’s only available to Sexy Confidence members. Join the Club today and get exclusive access to content like this, as well as a whole network of women who support you.



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5 years ago

These are rules to live by!

Etelvina Lana
5 years ago

I really agreed with everything said and loved it. Thank you for share your knowledge and make us seeing our true value.
Btw, number 3 and 6 are hardiest to me. Even I knowing and being able to overcome it 😉

5 years ago

Yes I always knew Im High Value, yet too open and kind too soon before he’s earned it. Your writing is so true, wish I came across it sooner. Thank you for confirming what Ive started to learn! I need to work on 3 and 7.

5 years ago

Heck yeah, I need to work on 3, and 4 .

5 years ago

All these are very true, always value yourself first. Good luck though, you’ll be doing a lot of walking in this world of netflix & chill style dating

4 years ago

Wow! I love this article as I have recommended it to my immediate cousins for their learning to be a high value lady.

Karyn Demiri-Smith
4 years ago

I am a high valued woman and have done all on the list…. they still withdraw and walk away. After telling me they love me, inviting me in their life, investing in me… all of a.sudden around 4 to 5 months, they walk!?

1 year ago

i think you have to remain high value throughout the whole relationship, not just when you’re trying to get them to be your boyfriend. make sure they know you could walk away at any time if they don’t treat you well.

4 years ago

This is great and I need this. If women had more respect and walked sooner, rather than staying with men who are wrong. – men would have no choice but to relearn and change their behaviour. Respect is top of my list.
I will practice this to reclaimed my value.

mary grace uy ellevera
4 years ago

what if the man you want show that you are a high value woman is your husband?i ask this because our relationship with my husband as of now is in truoble because i hvae found out that he’s cheating on me..when i confronted him he said he still love and he wont leave..but he said he is still in love with his ex. i want him back, i want him to love me.,and only me and want him to love me fully like before.

1 year ago

i think it applies to marriage too but if he said he’s still in love with his ex idk if that’s something you can fix

3 years ago

Good principles to live by

3 years ago

Do you know how to be a high value woman. There are some secrets of high value woman that can make him chase you and value you.

3 years ago

Completely wrong. The high value woman has actual tangible value: skills, etiquette, knowledge, looks, money.

This day and age no tricks will ever fool a high value man into believing the woman is high value.

She should bring something measurable and tangible to the table in order to be seen as a high value woman.

3 years ago

What a BS article….Nothing on this list will make a women actually high value, it only makes her feel good about her self. Want to be high value? Get a passion or a hobby that is interesting and that makes you grow as a person. Bonus points if you are actually good at it. Prioritize your health. Being fit and healthy makes you feel better about yourself and makes you more attractive Don’t be so try hard on social media. Don’t gossip all day long, it shows you got nothing going in your actual life Develop your own style when… Read more »

10 months ago
Reply to  Hendriks

A high value “type” woman is already doing these things. The emphasis here is ‘walking away’ from things that no longer serve you — particularly a man who does not invest or see your value. In order words a HV woman by definition already has passions, invests in herself, takes care of herself and walking away is just another trait or characteristic.

2 years ago

I find it very funny not to recognize the value of a guy then in the end you will say if the guy didn’t recognize the value of a woman then they are blind?? Hahahahahaha!! Sorry, i can’t stop laughing. The relationship should be mutual and not one sided. Much better to walk away from any women who acts as if she was hard to get. If women don’t show signs of interests we’re not that interested either. We are willing to walk away. Period.

Last edited 2 years ago by John
1 year ago

Uffffff I’m the worst person to some “victims”

1 year ago

A woman enters adulthood at a 100% value because she is young/healthy, beautiful and usually hasn’t had a lot of sex partners. Youth and beauty fade but in order to keep your value you have to have a non disgusting or promiscuous sexual past. That is what men seek for and those women have lasting marriages. Women who have more sex partner or disgusting sex acts in their past are more likely to divorce because after a certain amount of time the man loses interest because the woman isn’t worth the effort anymore.

1 year ago

It seems to me that when any businessman wants to succeed, he must understand that he should not act alone, but he needs moral strength to make serious decisions.

1 year ago

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4 months ago

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