How to Get a Boyfriend: 10 Proven Tips To Get The Guy You Want

happily ever after

If there’s one topic I get asked about the most it’s how to get a boyfriend.

I understand. When you’re single and looking for a quality partner, it can be frustrating when you don’t find someone right away. And the more you want it, the more desperate you can get in wanting a boyfriend. The more desperate you are…well…the less likely you are to attract a man. It’s a Catch 22 situation.

But I’m here to tell you that, with a little patience and the tips below, you will find a boyfriend. You’ll find an amazing guy that you don’t have to settle for because he’ll be everything you want in a man.

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 1: Be Confident and Show It

confident woman

There’s nothing more attractive to a man than confidence.

Even if inside you feel desperate and lonely, I want you to work toward projecting total confidence. It can take time, so if you don’t feel confident today, realize you need to work up to it. But men love confident women. A confident woman seems like she can take care of herself. She doesn’t appear to need a man but rather wants one in her world.

A confident woman is sexy. Desirable. Worth putting effort into winning over.

Don’t you want to come off as that woman?

I thought so.

Here are a few ways you can boost your confidence and improve your ability to get a boyfriend:

  • Smile at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself you are beautiful every time you see your reflection. No one has to hear you!
  • Wear clothes you feel amazing in, even if you’re just going to the grocery store
  • Pull your shoulders back when you walk
  • Pretend you own the place when you walk into a room

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 2: Take Your Time

I know you want to figure out how to get a boyfriend today, but girl, you need to be patient. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but understand that the next man who will be your boyfriend is out there somewhere. But right now, he may not be emotionally ready to connect with you. He might be in another relationship. Hell, you might not actually be ready for a relationship.

When it’s right, it will happen.

When you try to rush finding love, you may waste a lot of energy bemoaning the fact that you’re single and complaining about how there are no men left. What do you think this energy does for you?

Nothing.

In fact, it may even prevent you from finding a boyfriend. You’ve heard the saying like attracts like? If you spend all your energy complaining about being single, you’re creating negative energy.  It’s like filling your body up with junk food. These junk thoughts impact what you attract. If you complain about being single, you’ll stay single. Or you’ll attract the wrong kind of guy simply because you don’t want to be alone.

So go slow. Learn to accept the fact that sometimes you will be alone. There’s nothing wrong with it. Embrace it. More on that in a minute. But first, a few ways you can learn to take your time as you learn how to get a boyfriend.

  • Realize that being single is a temporary situation. It might last a week…or a year. But it’s not permanent.
  • Watch movies like How to Be Single that show an upbeat view of single life.
  • Maintain high standards when talking to men. Just because you want a boyfriend doesn’t mean the next guy who messages you on Tinder is the one.

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 3: Get a Life

active woman

Staying active will fill up your time and make you feel fulfilled.

Okay, let’s talk more about embracing being alone. I know it seems counterintuitive to finding a boyfriend, but bear with me.

It’s shocking how uncomfortable humans are with being alone. In a study published in Science Magazine, researchers found that, given the choice of sitting quietly with their thoughts or electroshocking themselves, an overwhelming number of participants chose the shocks.

Are you wigging out as much as I am about this??

Somewhere along the way, mankind decided that the only way to assign value to ourselves was to be surrounded by other people or in relationships. Who are you if there’s not someone nearby to tell you that you’re awesome?

Really?

You are awesome, and you don’t need a boyfriend or even to constantly go out all the time to prove it. But you may need to change your mindset and even your habits to ensure that you’re not sitting around feeling lonely.

The best way to find a boyfriend is to not be looking for one. Get a life. Be active. Do things you love. And then, when you least suspect it, someone great will come along. You might meet a guy at your hiking group’s weekly meetup, or at the coffee shop. But you won’t meet him if you’re sitting at home crying about it.

Here are a few ways you can get a life and stop focusing on wanting a man:

  • Pick up a new activity. Exercise is a great place to start. Rock climbing, anyone?
  • Find things to do alone that you love. Check out a great book. Rent a movie. Give yourself a manicure. Make this a habit.
  • Go out with friends…just don’t do it every night of the week.

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 4: Be Open to Opportunity

Like I said in the last tip: you could meet a fantastic guy just about anywhere.

He could be the cutie who stops to ask you what you’re reading in the park.

He might be your next dance partner at the club.

He could be your brother’s best friend.

He might show up at your next business mixer.

You’ll notice that in all these scenarios, you are out and about when these opportunities arise. Again, they’re not happening for you at home! Yes, online dating is a tool you should consider, but you’ll maximize your chance of finding a boyfriend if you are open to the possibility at all times.

So how can you be more open to opportunity?

  • Put effort into looking nice whenever you leave the house. I’m not saying put on your full war paint, but clean, flattering clothes and brushed hair are a start!
  • Say yes to invitations for events you might not otherwise want to go to.
  • Smile! Every time you see an attractive man, smile at him. That way, he’s not scared off by your resting bitchy face.

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 5: Be Ready to Commit to the Process

online dating

Online dating should be just one thing you’re dedicated to exploring.

I always say that dating is not for the faint of heart. You can put a lot of effort into talking to guys, then going on dates, and they may never pan out. You may start to get jaded and think, if I have to get all dolled up for yet another bad date, I am going to hurl!

But look at it like this: think about the last time you were job hunting. I bet you put a lot of time and energy into scouring those job ads, reading them, and applying for the ones you liked. Then you had several interviews, only one of which was a job offer.

You see where I’m going with this?

Dating takes dedication. You can’t put in 10 minutes a week and then throw your hands up and scream, I give up! There’s no one for me!

You’ve got to be ready to commit. It will take time. It will take emotional energy. Some days, you’ll want to give up, and that’s okay. On those days, I say just take a break. Spend some time by yourself or with friends and don’t think about how to get a boyfriend. You can pick up your efforts when you’re ready.

Just don’t expect results if you’re not ready to put in the effort. Here, a few guidelines:

  • Be open to all channels, including singles mixers, online dating, and meeting through friends.
  • Dedicate several hours a week to attending events and looking online.
  • When you get discouraged, back off. Have some time away from the process, then get back to it.

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 6: Be Open to Who You Meet

Another mistake I see a lot of women make is not giving a guy a chance. This happens a lot online, where first impressions mean a lot. But in reality, guys can suck at taking good profile pics or writing their bios. So if you’re judging them by that, you might miss out on some great guys.

And even if you don’t hit it off with a man you’re on a date with, you never know where that relationship could go. A lot of dates that fizzle out end up creating great friendships.

I know a woman who went out with a man she met on OKCupid. The chemistry wasn’t there, so they decided to be friends. He invited her to a party he was hosting, and she brought her friends. Now they’re all friends, and the ladies often ask the gentleman for advice on reading men. That’s a bonus in my book, to have a male friend who can give you a different perspective on dating than your girlfriends!

So give a guy a chance.

  • Give him a second date. Some men are incredibly nervous on a first date and don’t make a great impression. But on a second date, they’re more at ease.
  • Before you swipe left, consider at least engaging in conversation. If he’s witty and intelligent, that blurry selfie might not even matter. Plus guys are better looking in person usually.
  • Don’t be closed off when going on a date. You never know what it could turn into (business connection, he’s got a friend better suited for you, etc.).

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 7: Flirt

flirty woman

How to get a boyfriend: step up your flirting game!

The best thing about being single is that you have the license to flirt. Hard. Not only does flirting boost your confidence (not to mention the confidence of the man you’re batting your eyelashes at), but it also gives you the opportunity to get better at it. Oh, and it raises your white blood cell count and strengthens your immune system.

And heads up: you might have to be pretty obvious when you get your flirt on. In a research project, it was found that only 36% of men realized when ladies were flirting with them. DUH!

Even if you have no intention of making that bartender your next boyfriend, it can feel good to flirt and be flirted with. And the possibility of scoring a free drink? Always a perk.

  • Make a point to flirt with someone each time you go out with your friends or alone.
  • Sign up for my free Flirting Workshop to get effective tips that work.
  • Smile. That’s the biggest part of flirting.

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 8: Wait to Have Sex

When you do meet a guy that you’re into, those first few dates are pretty critical. They’re when both of you determine whether you have enough chemistry to take things to the next level, AKA a relationship. Having sex too soon can ruin your chances for this guy turning out to be a boyfriend.

Why?

Having sex too soon — like after just one to three dates — can put sex too much in the center of things between you and this guy. He may assume you’re only after a hookup or something casual when, in fact, you really want to develop a nurturing relationship.

And because many women feel more emotionally connected to a man after having sex with him, jumping between the sheets too early might make you feel like you’re into a guy more than you would be if you hadn’t slept together. In other words, sex can skew your feelings about a man. It can create a rosy glow that keeps you from seeing the flaws that ultimately mean you won’t end up together long.

So how long should you wait? Talia Goldstein, CEO of Three Day Rule, a white glove matchmaking service, says: “There are no hard and fast rules in terms of when you should be intimate with someone, but in general, it’s best to wait until you feel like you’ve made an emotional connection.”

Here are more tips to cooling your libido when you first start dating a guy.

  • Plan dates that keep you away from either of your houses. Netflix and chill is really code for “let’s get it on.”
  • If he’s pushing to get intimate, tell him you want to wait until you know one another better.
  • Keep those good night kisses short and sweet. Focus on the anticipation of when you finally do have sex! It’ll be amazing.

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 9: Question Your Reason for Wanting a Boyfriend

You put so much energy into wanting a boyfriend…but have you considered why you want one?

Is it because you don’t want to be lonely anymore?

Because you want someone to spend your weekends with?

Because you’re horny?

Because you want to make your ex jealous?

Or is it…

Because you’re at a point in your life where you’re ready to be a great partner?

Because you want a partner to learn from and grow with?

Because you’re ready to give all your love to one man?

This second batch of reasons is perfectly legitimate. But if, when you’re really honest with yourself, you agree with some of the first batch of reasons why you want a boyfriend, I encourage you to explore those reasons. As I said before: being lonely isn’t the end of the world. It can actually be really fulfilling if you let it. If you want a more robust social life, go out with your friends or make new ones. If you’re horny, well, you don’t need a man to help with that. 😊 And if you want to make your ex jealous? Grow up. You’re better than that.

  • Want to get into a relationship because you’re ready and have love to give.
  • Only look for a boyfriend when you’re completely okay with and secure in yourself.
  • Constantly revisit your reasons for wanting a man as a reality check.

How to Get a Boyfriend Tip 10: Put Yourself Out There

It can be incredibly scary to put yourself out there, especially if you’re recently singleBut I’m telling you here and now: if you’re not willing to be brave, you may not find a boyfriend as quickly as you’d like.

Creating an online profile on a dating site is scary as hell. But really, what have you got to lose? Even if you only play around with it and never go on dates, you get a feel for the tool and maybe get some good texting experience under your belt.

Walking up to a guy at a party or in a bar takes guts (imagine how we feel!). But you’ll never see him again…unless it works out. So give it a shot.

Giving a guy your number doesn’t mean you have to marry him. If he asks you out, it’s just drinks. Or dinner. Or coffee. Or whatever. You’re not signing your life away.

So just do it. Be brave and allow yourself to try things you never thought you would, all in the name of love.

Conclusion:

how to get a boyfriend

Be patient. Love will find you when you least expect it.

My best tip on how to get a boyfriend?

Just let it happen.

Be open, be brave, and be confident.

Your next boyfriend — who very well could be The One — is out there. The anticipation of when he’ll fall into your life is half the fun. Wake up every day happy and full of expectations. Could today be the day you meet him? Do you already know him? Allow the magic of dating and finding the right guy to fill you with enthusiasm.

After all, what’s the alternative? Sulking because you’re not partnered up? That’s no good.

I know when you have friends who are married or who are couples, it can be hard being single. But think of it like this: some of your girlfriends may envy you. Their relationships might look great from the outside, but usually, you have no idea what’s really going on. One girlfriend could be putting up with a cheater or just a loser guy, and may not be brave enough to leave him. Another may not have had sex for years.

So yea, from their perspective, your singleton life may look pretty fabulous.

So embrace it. Enjoy being able to do exactly what you want to do. No checking in with someone. No having to factor in the fact that your man is a vegan/nondrinker/introvert when you make plans. You can eat popcorn and ice cream for dinner and watch chick flicks all night. No judgment.

But one day, you’re going to meet a marvelous man. And some of what you loved about being single will go away. Certainly, you’ll trade one set of perks for another, but you may look back at your single time and be a little nostalgic.

So live in the moment, you Sexy, Confident lady. You won’t be single forever, so make the most of the time you have before Mr. Right comes along.

What tips do you have to add on how to get a boyfriend? Leave them in the comments below.

happily ever after
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Adam LoDolce

Love Strategist

My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story

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Mary L
2 years ago

Adam, I love your website and videos!! They have helped me a lot!! 😀 I would like you to teach us to find out if a man is really sorry for cheating on us, hurting us, etc.

I want to know when it is worth to give a second chance to someone who did a mistake.

TIA! 🙂

Tia
10 months ago
Reply to  Mary L

It is a little corny. You should put pictures and color.

Lori Marshall
2 years ago

I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’m painfully shy. I’ve tried to improve my confidence, but I have set backs and I’m back where I started. Not as young as I used to be. I’m often treated like like one of the guys. Is it too late for me to find someone or do I let it go and leave it for the younger prettier girls?

Erica
1 year ago
Reply to  Lori Marshall

Nooo!!! You ll find a perfect guy for you!!
Let’s boost your confidence and make you feel like perfect woman.
Dress like an attractive woman and acting like a princess
To notice them how attractive and amazing you are!
Go and get that guyyyy

T Andrews
10 months ago
Reply to  Erica

There is nothing more attractive than a woman who dresses nicely, and carries herself with a royal air. My fiance (yay! …I got engaged 2 months ago!) is not rich…she’s a country girl, but she has a few nice outfits she wears, and she walks, moves, and acts with grace, kindness, and well, a certain nobility about her. She looks like an Angel and acts like Princess Diana. She considers herself special, and that makes her special to the eyes of others. Just be careful not to act like your a spoiled Princess. That’s a turnoff to guys. Act like… Read more »

Imani
8 months ago
Reply to  Erica

My question is “Why do guys avoid the truth and lie?”

1 month ago
Reply to  Lori Marshall

You got this girl! Have confidence! Be yourself, if he (or she nobody’s judging) doesn’t like you for you, it’s not the right person- trust me, when you find the right guy (or girl-again nobody’s judging…) you will feel some happiness but, it will be kind of crazy… and you might have your ups and downs but, just have patience you got this!!!

Faith Newsome
1 year ago

Im so confused by him and it’s annoying

1 year ago
Reply to  Faith Newsome

Cool nobody cares

Divad the beaver
1 year ago
Reply to  Lequfie

HAHAHAHAH WHAT A LEGEND

Renah
1 year ago

Thanks a million for this, i REALLY needed this reminder

Imani
8 months ago
Reply to  Faith Newsome

I’m ready to give up completely!

daniel hogan
1 year ago

i got married thx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arianna Reyes
1 year ago

That’s nice, congrats on getting married!

Sarah
1 year ago

Me and my Grand-Big are definitely trying these steps in 2019. But first we have a few questions…

1. Where do I find a boy who doesn’t JUST want to have sex with me?
2. With these rules, will following them make boys approach me, or do i need to use my confidence to approach them?
3. How long does this process take? and do we think if we follow these steps that we will get boyfriends by the end of 2019?

Thank you:)

P
1 year ago
Reply to  Sarah

You can by always thinking of I stopped there only if you ask me to them I will.?

T Andrews
10 months ago
Reply to  Sarah

Just be friendly and normal. Unless you have a third eye or two heads, boys will talk to you. Young boys can be immature and sometimes a little mean, but they’re just nervous. They’ll figure out that they like girls one day, and then they’ll start acting nice. Also, some boys are just afraid of talking to girls. Yes. They are afraid of you. Terrified actually. You might need to help them out a little….. be patient when you talk to them. Talk to them like a brother, no, maybe not….maybe like a cousin. Act normal and talk like you… Read more »

Nimpia
1 year ago

Hope i could date soon 🙂

Imani
8 months ago
Reply to  Nimpia

Me too!

Nicole
1 year ago

I am a book writer and I thank whoever made this because you have helped me a lot in my writing was and life ways.

1 year ago

eautiful Write. Wonderful article, I appreciate your thoughts. This is so helpful and TRUE!

1 year ago

Beautiful Write. Wonderful article, I appreciate your thoughts. This is so helpful and TRUE!

1 year ago

i love my boyfriend and i am 19 he is 20

salena stephen
1 year ago

what if you are waiting to get rid of flaws and it takes years to get rid of it, until i have a boyfriend?

1 year ago

Thanks so much for you help to jace to be in a little to get the car to jace Norman ok with me being you to get a hold to get the money you jace to

Drew A.
1 year ago

Quick, important comment: confidence in women doesn’t turn men on. Men are turned on by physical beauty , personality, and sweetness initially. If he’s attracted, your confidence level as a woman is nearly immaterial to his attraction level. Men are strongly attracted to women just gazing across the coffee shop, street, or library. It’s immensely biological.

T Andrews
10 months ago
Reply to  Drew A.

I agree with Drew A. I’m a guy’s dating coach and wrote a book, it’s on Amazon, called “How to meet and Attract Women” for guys. And I have to say, Drew is right. Men are attracted to women who are attractive looking and put forth some effort into looking nice. e.g. NO loose sweatpants!! Also Drew mentions a coffee shop scenario. A guy really loves it when a woman looks at him, holds the gaze for 1 full second and smiles. So next time you see a guy your’e into, just try that. If he’s shy, like most guys… Read more »

Rylee
10 months ago

I’ve had two boyfriends during this school year they were PLAYERS but now I really like a kid named Tyler but I asked him out and he said that he needed to think about it. Do you think he likes me if I can get 50 replys i will ask him to the dance coming up

8 months ago

I REALLY AM FUMING ABOUT THIS COMMENT SECTION!!!!! WE ARE TRYING TO GET A BOYFRIEND HERE! AND MR. TIM HERE IS BOZING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP LIKE WE DON’T CARE!? OKAY LOVE? WE ARE HERE TO GET HELP TO FIND THE RIGHT ONE.

Roy
5 months ago
Reply to  Karen Smith
Elle
6 months ago

I DONT WANNA WAIT I WANT IT NOWWWWW

Katarina
6 months ago

I’m going to try this…if it doesn’t work can I receive a refund haha

Britany
5 months ago

I’m upset

Marlene
3 months ago

Pretty girl

IMG_20200530_172436929~2.jpg
Je*
1 month ago

i would like a boyfriend. please reply if you are 18-23 years old or if you know someone who is. Thanks

PS: im just doing Tip 4. this could be my opportunity lol

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