How to Be Wife Material: 7 Ways To Make Him See That You Are The One!

You’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now. Things are progressing nicely. You’ve both admitted you love each other, and you’re both committed to the relationship. Now, your mission is to make sure he sees you as wife material.

The question is…how do you do that? Short of oohing and aahing over rings when you pass the jewelry store in the mall, you’re not sure what to do to get him in a marriage state of mind.

Not to worry sweet lady, because I’m going to help you figure out how to brand yourself as wife material to the man that you love. It doesn’t require a push-up bra or pretending to be something you’re not. My secret “wife material” formula is based on 100% being yourself. Let’s dive in.

What Does Wife Material Mean?

While what constitutes a woman being wife material will vary slightly from man to man, we can right away discount what it is not:

It is not a woman who hooks up with lots of men.

It is not a woman who is selfish.

It is not a woman who can’t be herself.

It’s not even a woman who will eagerly await her man by the front door with his pipe and slippers (at least, not anymore).

When a guy says you’re wife material, he typically sees the potential for a (very) long-term relationship with you. But it’s more than just being your boyfriend for years. There’s a certain something that makes him feel like you would make an excellent wife…and maybe mother to his children.

It could be that you’re kind to everyone you meet. Or that you cater to his needs. That you’re his intellectual equal. That you’re mature. That you make his heart go pitter-patter.

Likely, your man couldn’t even quantify what makes you wife material. He just knows it one day. But that day may not be today. That doesn’t mean marriage is permanently off the table…it just means you may need to position yourself as wife material to get the ball rolling.

How to Make Him See You As Wife Material

The fact is: your relationship has evolved over time. You may have started out casually dating and then decided to be exclusive and call one another boyfriend/girlfriend. From there, maybe you moved in together or started saying I love you. Now it’s time for the next phase of your relationship: potentially becoming engaged and getting married.

Women easily and eagerly make the transition from one phase of their relationship to another. Men…not so much. They may need more time to mentally shift from one stage of the relationship to another. That may be why he hasn’t popped the question, even though you’re ready to answer it.

Now, in no way am I encouraging you to manipulate your man to get him to propose. On the contrary; I simply want you to be yourself, but implement a few strategies that will make him start seeing you as wife material.

Wife Material Tip #1: Focus on Exclusivity

If it’s still early days in your relationship, you need to make sure he values you as a prize to be won and cherished rather than a Good Enough relationship until something better comes along.

If you’re still seeing other people, stop. You want to show that you’re serious about this guy.

If he’s seeing other people, ask him to stop. Tell him you’ve decided to be exclusive, and you hope he will too because you really see this going somewhere.

If you’re a brand new couple and haven’t started having sex yet, consider waiting until he agrees on being exclusive. Whether you want to admit it or not, men may not see a woman who’s eager to hop in the sack too soon as wife material. Moving too quickly sexually may indicate to him that you’re not looking for anything serious. It’ll be hard to undo that perception later.

Wife Material Tip #2: Spend Time With Him During The Day

It’s easy for couples to get into a groove when dating. Every Friday night, you go to a new restaurant. Maybe a movie. Then you end up at his house, where you have sex and maybe stay the night.

Routines quickly become ruts, and any man who’s in a rut in his love life is not thinking about the future.

Hanging out only at night means that sex may likely be a part of every date. But it doesn’t have to be. The longer you’re together, the less you need to rely on sex as a tool to bond with your man. Conversations and shared experiences will also go a long way to cementing the bond you share.

If you can find activities that you can share together, like training for a marathon or cooking classes, you’ll quickly learn more about one another, and you’ll have the potential for long-term happiness. In a study conducted by Kimberley Coulter and John M. Malouff, couples who engaged in shared exciting activities together for 90 minutes a week showed higher levels of romantic-relationship excitement and relationship satisfaction after four weeks. This continued even four months after the study.

Trying something new in your dating routine could elevate your relationship and make you wife material.

Wife Material Tip #3: Open Up To Him

Married couples eventually know basically everything about one another. They’ve shared their secrets, their insecurities, and their lifetime of stories.

You may not be there yet in terms of knowing one another so well, but you have to work up to it. Start by opening up to your boyfriend. Be vulnerable to him. After all, you know you can trust him, so why wouldn’t you share whatever’s on your mind?

Realize that when you open up to him, you also create space for him to open up to you. This isn’t easy for most guys. Trust me.

When he’s ready to open up to you about past pain or things he’s struggled through, listen. Don’t try to fix him. He doesn’t want a therapist; he wants an open heart and maybe a shoulder to lean on.

A woman who is wife material willingly creates this space for the two of you to share your emotions. She listens without judgment, and shares without fear.

Wife Material Tip #4: Show Interest

This is such a small thing to do, so I don’t know why more women don’t do it. If you’re asking yourself: what are the qualities of a good wife, here’s your answer:

She pays attention.

She doesn’t fake interest in what he says. She genuinely shows it.

So just show interest in what he’s into. Really listen when he talks. Be engaged with him so that you can get engaged!

Consider the two following scenarios:

Scenario #1

Him: So something interesting happened at work today…

You: Uh huh.

Him: We dissected the protein and discovered an entirely new subgenre. Horace and I were working together and…

You: Zzzzzz…

Scenario #2

Him: So something interesting happened at work today…

You: Oh yea? That’s cool. What was it?

Him: We dissected the protein and discovered an entirely new subgenre. Horace and I were working together and…

You: Oh, so this is that project you and Horace started a few months ago? Tell me more!

Which version of you do you think is better wife material? Which is the woman he can see himself coming home to for eternity, eager to share his day with?

If you can’t show interest in what he’s excited about, how can you expect this relationship to last? Even if you’re not into science or sports or wood making, you should be into him enough to be happy to see him get enthusiastic about something.

Likewise, you’d want your husband-to-be to be engaged and listening when you talk about your argument with Bethany or the book you just read, right? So reciprocate already.

Wife Material Tip #5: Remove Sex From Being the Focus of the Relationship

Now hold on a minute. I am in no way saying you should stop having sex with your boyfriend simply because you want him to see you as good wife material. Not at all.

But realize that you want him to see beyond your amazing flexibility and lingerie. You want him to be able to picture waking up to you each morning. You want him to be excited about all those silly little things that make up a marriage, like picking up dry cleaning, planning vacations, and remodeling a home together.

When you first start a relationship, the sex is usually the hottest it will ever be. You may be unable to keep your hands off of each other. But once you get out of that honeymoon phase, you’ll want something more meaningful. Sex, in the beginning especially, helps you bond.

A study of newlywed couples was published in Psychological Science. It found that partners experienced a sexual ‘afterglow’ that lasted for up to two days, and this afterglow was found to keep relationship quality high over the long term. So that frequent banging at the start of your relationship can help cement it down the road.

But after a few months, you need something else. If you take my advice in tip #2, you can break the routine of dinner-then-sex simply by changing up what you do. While certainly, a midday round of mini golf could end back in the bedroom, it’s not a natural progression.

Focus on spending quality time together with your clothes on. After all, if things go according to plan, you’ll have the rest of your lives together to make love. Focus now on engaging in intellectual conversations, playing silly games and telling jokes, and trying new activities.

Wife Material Tip #6: Challenge Him

That idea of a timid housewife who has dinner on the table at six and rushes to get her man a cold brewski is one we can leave behind in the 1950s. Today, men consider a woman wife material if she isn’t afraid to speak her mind and occasionally challenges him.

If you’re the type of person who will call others out when they say something out of line, don’t try to tamp that down in an effort to make this man love you more. Eventually, your true nature will come out, and it may be a shock to his system that you suppressed who you really were in favor of who you thought he wanted you to be.

Be yourself. If this guy can’t handle you, he’s not the one for you.

So what do I mean when I tell you to challenge him?

If he makes an offensive joke, tell him it’s not okay.

If he makes a grandiose claim, ask him to back it up.

If you disagree with him, tell him. It doesn’t mean you will end up in an argument, but he should know that your thoughts differ from his own. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Wife Material Tip #7: Let Him Be Himself

Just as I encourage you to be yourself as you try to figure out what makes a woman wife material, you should also give him space to be himself.

Consider whether you put any expectations on him. Do you snap at him whenever he starts whistling? Have you forbidden him from his favorite pastime, like hunting? Do you criticize things he does?

If so, you’re not letting him be himself.

Look, this guy has flaws. We all do. You’re not perfect yourself. So realize there is a difference between annoying but acceptable quirks and dealbreakers. Swallow what simply irks you and let him belt out show tunes in the shower. You’ll survive.

And just a note: if you have a long list of things that you’d like to change about your man, he’s probably not the one you want to marry. Please, please hear me on this: you cannot change another person. You can change your attitude toward him and his flaws, but if you can’t get past certain things, it’s time to move on.

Conclusion:

Now that you know what makes a woman wife material, step up your game. While you work on being the best damn girlfriend possible, you’ll reap the benefits, because it’ll all become second nature.

Even if you weren’t the best listener before, trying harder and seeing his positive reaction will only reinforce the behavior and get you to do it more. As you learn it’s okay to challenge him, you’ll loosen up and feel more able to be your sparkly weirdo self around him. Basically, trying to show that you’re wife material will actually make you wife material. Consider it marriage boot camp: spending time assessing how you can be a better partner will benefit both of you in the end.

But no plan is foolproof, because every man and every relationship is different. If you’ve done everything you think is possible to position yourself as the ideal bride-to-be and he’s still not biting after some months or even years, consider sitting down and having The Talk.

You’ve been together a while. You see this heading toward marriage. How does he feel?

By this time, I assume you already know how he feels about marriage. If he swore to you when you first started dating that he’d never, ever, ever get married, it’s kinda your own fault if you let things continue, hoping he’d change his mind. He probably won’t.

But if he’s indicated that he’s interested in getting married and hasn’t made moves in that direction, ask if something has changed. He may open up about an issue you didn’t realize the two of you had, and that’s a great opportunity for some dialogue about it. The two of you will need to work together to decide whether you can overcome this issue or if it ultimately means the end of the relationship.

But know that in general, men move more slowly than women toward that ultimate commitment. Give him time and space to work up to it his own way. But certainly, if you reach a point where you feel you cannot continue the relationship without a proposal, talk to him before walking away.

And give yourself one more tool to move toward marriage, join this free webinar to learn how to attract “the one” you’ve always wanted. You can register here for free.