Signs He Loves You: 5 Things He Will Do If His Heart Is Truly Yours
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Are you looking for signs he loves you? Unsure of where to start?
Unless you are some type of superhero or one of those TV psychics I keep seeing on late-night TV infomercials… you are NOT a mind reader, are you? Okay. Didn’t think so.
So if you can’t take a peek inside the head of the guy that you like, then how will you know if he really loves you if he doesn’t come out and say it? It’s enough to make you want to beat your head against the wall.
Let me just tell you: guys aren’t always open about their feelings. Your man very well may love you, but be nervous about telling you. And you’re left wondering.
But even if he isn’t ready to ‘fess up, there will be signs he loves you. These signs WILL be there – as clear as day. You just have to know what to look for.
(Spoiler alert: the signs he loves you have nothing to do with him buying you things or treating you like a Disney Princess.)
In this week’s video I’m going to reveal five signs he loves you so you can once and for all decode this mysterious man. You’re not going to want to miss this one.
Let’s face it: movies, TV, and Michael Bolton love songs have sold you on a very one-dimensional idea of what a man will do when he’s in love.
He’ll jog in slow motion across a field of flowers to get to you.
He’ll ride on a horse, his shirt unbuttoned, across the beach for your love.
He’ll give you roses and write you love songs.
[Cue the record scratch.]
Allow me to put a pin in your balloon of fantasy. It turns out, love can be very different than what we see in Hollywood movies.
Once you’ve woken up next to the man of your dreams and seen the slobber trail leading to his pillow, you realize that pop culture has lied to you.
But that’s okay. We’re going to take a real look at the signs he loves you…and there may be no roses or poetry involved.
Your Coach,
Adam
PS: Want to learn how to make ANY man more interested, engaged, and attracted to you… all by using your phone? Use the proven techniques found in my free Love Texting Report to create instant, white-hot attraction with him… whether you’ve just met or you’ve been together for years.
Summary: Discover those Signs He Loves You
So you’ve been dating this guy for a while, and you feel fairly certain he’s falling in love with you, but you aren’t 100% sure. The last thing you want to do is profess your own feelings if he’s not actually on the same page as you.
So let’s look at those signs he loves you so that you can play detective and get to the bottom of the situation.
1. He wants you to speak your mind freely, but will also challenge you when he disagrees.
You: Hey babe, I’m going to shave my head and get a forehead tattoo.
Him: Um…okay dear.
I personally believe you shouldn’t be with someone who’s not going to challenge you. Your partner should be willing to put you in your place if you’re saying things that are a little bit ridiculous, and be honest with you if you’re making a bad call.
I would never want to be with a woman who doesn’t question me and my behavior, who was afraid to disagree with me. I like it when my girlfriend tells me I’m being dumb. Like the time she didn’t let me leave the house wearing the sequin silver pants I was sure I looked good in.
I’m sure you don’t want to be with a yes man. You don’t want to be with a man who agrees with everything you say, and who lets you make bad decisions. You want to be with someone who is going to give you a new perspective, and who will give you gentle constructive criticism when you need it.
You: Hey babe, I’m going to shave my head and get a forehead tattoo.
Him: I think that’s the worst idea since cronuts.
At the same time, you want a man who encourages you to speak your mind. He in no way wants to change your sparkling personality. He likes it when you’re brazen, cuss like a sailor, or give your opinion.
It’s a fine line this guy has to walk between letting you be yourself and not letting you fall. But one of the signs he loves you is that while he embraces your eclectic personality, he’s also not willing to let you make mistakes without calling you out on them.
2. He may give signs he loves you through his actions, not words.
Don’t assume that because your man hasn’t yet come out with the words I love you that he isn’t in love with you.
Back in 2009, Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the world to the concept of love languages in his bestselling book, The Five Love Languages. It’s a scientific fact: each of us communicates love in a different manner.
Some people use words of affirmation to actually say I love you to a mate. Note: this can also include other ways of affirming love, like giving you a compliment or being supportive during a conversation.
But what if words of affirmation aren’t your fella’s love language? He might not have said he loves you out loud, but maybe he performs acts of service like doing the dishes when you weren’t expecting it or sending you a cute text in the morning.
He might give you gifts, and that might be one of the signs that he loves you. Or he might give you lots of physical affection or spend quality time with you. Each of these is a different form of communication, so pay attention. Declarations of love don’t always come wrapped up in three little words.
If he’s putting energy into making you happy, whatever the channel, this could be one of the quiet signs he loves you.
3. He will treat you like a best friend. And like any best friend, he’ll tease the living sh*t out of you.
Right now, I want you to think about how your best friend, past or present, treats or treated you. Likely they trust you with their secrets, are loyal and supportive, and might poke a little fun at you from time to time.
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There’s no better formula for a love partnership. You want a best friend to move forward with. You want someone who’s going to be there for you, and who you can really connect with.
In fact, a recent poll showed that 88% of married couples consider their partner to be their best friend. Clearly it works.
But wait! There’s more.
Because you’re so close to your best friend, he won’t be afraid to have a little fun with you. He may tease you, play practical jokes on you (a cold cup of water dumped on you while in the shower will always be more funny to him than you), and have plenty of laughs.
If your guy is stepping outside of Fantasyland and moving into a reality where he’s comfortable enough with you to tease you mercilessly, this is a good thing!
Again, movies do us a disservice, especially Disney movies. Never do you see Prince Charming poking fun at Cinderella. Prince Eric would never feed Ariel fish and tell her it was vegan food.
No, of course not. It’s all about a false idea of romance in these movies. But real romance involves a balance of trust, spending time together, and yes, making fun of one another from time to time.
When you think about your guy, do you see him as your best friend? Does he make you happy as well as frustrate you with his silly antics? Congratulations. He’s comfortable enough with you to be authentic. And that’s one of the great signs he loves you.
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He listens to your needs…but he’s not a pushover.
You: Baby, please take out the trash.
Him: Sure thing, honey.
You: Sweetie, buy me this necklace.
Him: Okay, I will.
You: Darling, I want a 6-bedroom house.
Him: Er…that’s going to be hard to pull off on my salary…
You: Lovey dovey, let’s quit our jobs and move to a tropical island.
Him: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Look, lady. Veruca Salt discovered in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that it is impossible to have the whole world…right now.
Your guy wants to give you the things that really matter to you…within reason.
At the end of the day, he’s not always going to give you everything you want. It’s not always possible.. and that’s life.
He may even have started your relationship out by spoiling you, and now you’ve come to expect that you can get everything you want. But it’s actually a good thing if he starts pushing back against your unrealistic desires. It means he’s comfortable enough with you to know his limits.
And you know the kind of guy who’s secure enough to do that with you?
Do your part, though: it is important to reset your expectations about what love really looks like. It’s unreasonable for you to expect him to meet any and every demand you come up with. Remember: love is a compromise, so don’t let yours be so one-sided.
5. While he wants to spend the majority of his leisure time with you, he also likes to spend some time away from you.
In the early days of your relationship, you and your beau spent days together without coming up for air. You were in your own wonderful love bubble. But as time has gone on, he seems to want to spend less time with you.
Before you freak out: know that this is one of the signs that he is in love with you.
Say whaa?
It’s not that he likes you less…he might like you (or love you) more, in fact. But spending time apart — whether he’s with his buddies or chilling at his house alone — can make for a stronger and more secure relationship.
You could also benefit from spending time apart from your boyfriend. Take a night off from your love fest to reconnect with girlfriends you haven’t seen as much since you started dating this guy, or treat yourself to a special spa day. Taking a night or two off every week will help you maintain your independence and give you plenty to talk about when you see him again.
If he’s telling you he wants to hang out with his friends or be on his own, reassure him that you’re okay with that. He needs to know that you aren’t clinging to him and that you understand the value of time apart. That will move you two one step closer to a solid and long-lasting relationship.
Conclusion:
I know it might seem like your man is an enigma.
He loves me!
He loves me not!
GAAAH!
Just realize that each of us has our own ways of expressing our feelings. And as we know, men and women have their own unique methods of doing so. Science shows that men don’t rate the importance of emotions as highly as women do.
So understand that, from the start, knowing that he loves you is on your mind way more than it is his. He might have determined that he loves you months ago, accepted it, then moved on. Loving you is just part of his day…even if he hasn’t said it.
And why hasn’t he said it yet, then?
There are so many reasons why, despite all the signs he loves you being there, he might hesitate before saying I love you. He might want to make absolutely certain before he makes such an important declaration. He might have been burned in the past and want to take things extra slow. He may be worried about being vulnerable.
But no matter what is or isn’t coming out of his mouth, pay attention to his behaviors, because those are the true tells of what he’s feeling. A man who loves you is more at ease with you and comfortable being himself than a man who just likes you. He supports you but is also not willing to let you get away with murder.
In sum, he’s exactly the type of man you wanted to attract. So be patient! Those words will come. For now, be happy knowing that he’s showing his love in creative ways.
Hello Adam. I have been watching your videos on you-tube and reading material from you for about two years now. I am a Kenyan woman, living in Nairobi, and I struggled in finding a good and healthy relationship with guys for quite sometime. I am now 28, dating a wonderful man, loving, caring, sensitive and all that, but I have come to realize that am actually not physically attracted to him. Am actually turned off when he kisses or touches me. He is still a virgin, although we used to make out a bit, before I stopped it, because I… Read more »
Hi Adam I recently started liking this guy and I’m not sure if he likes me back, a couple of days ago he was flirting with me and I didn’t realise until one of my friends told me I started flirting back with him and this continued for a couple of days he punches my arm sometimes and I punch him back, since my friend told me that he was flirting I’ve kind of realised that he’s not his usual self. He seems to be around me more and than usual and he’s quite rebellious so literally 3 days ago… Read more »
Is he working on finding a job? Is his Mom involved too much in his business? If you are not attracted to him then you need to leave the relationship. If not then you may eventually cheat with someone you are attracted to. Also, ask yourself why is he still a virgin ( I hope your dating an adult) because this is not the norm for mankind, even if he affirms himself a Christian. He may not be attracted to you either but may truly want a typical life. Get out now!
It is more normal in predominantly Muslim countries like in East Africa to be a virgin until marriage. Not normal in the west.
hi. I am a single lady aged 35. recently I encountered a man aged 23 flatter with me. we chat a lot daily , he says he misses me and at a point requested to be referring to me as mom. recently he told me that he has a girlfriend although he wants to go with me for a vocation and always be post this phrase” I love you mom” and I miss you mom” he confessed that were it not for our age difference we could be married now. I am confused if there is love brewing up or… Read more »
If he has a girlfriend and is calling you mom, it doesn’t seem like he’s interested in dating you. It sounds like you are at risk of being used. Has anything happened since your wrote? Any updates?
I think he’s just confused
Please dont fall for him cause one he’s with someone else and is saying that u would be married? Imagine if u were in the place of the other lady..wouldnt u feel bad knowing this is going on.. so imagine if he someday did the same to you..Plus calling u mom?Not really an ideal relationship in my opinion
He is only 12 years younger than you. I would be so offended and grossed out to be called mom by an adult man not young enough to be my child!
Time to tell him you need some space and if you are not attracted to him you souls get out now and fast,he may be nice but make the break I married a man that remained me of my father and it did not work out,go and don’t loom back and with no job he has not matured yet
As always, your advice is solid. It’s hard to put into words, too. So well done. For me, the most important thing a guy can do if he loves me, is to just let it show. I can see it in his eyes, feel it in his presence. It’s in the air and it sparkles. It’s unmistakable magic. After that, everything else is cake : )
this one hit the mark for me. lots of down to earth good points here. one of the most important things a guy who loves me should do? treat me with respect and kindness, as well as tease the crap out of me and challenge me – just like you said. cuz i fully intend to tease the crap out of him and challenge him as well. thanks adam
You’re very welcome 🙂
the guy im seeing actually makes fun of me n i do the same..we have a great time together but on a deeper level i don’t find him connecting with me..maybe thats just how he is? what should i do
Hi Adam I truly hope you can help me. My hubby of 25 years and me bought a business that has staff and right from day 1 I felt an instant attraction to one of the staff and then I noticed he was doing everything over the next 12 mths or so that are the sort of things a man dies when courting a woman and trying to win her affection. He won mine within a few months because he showed me and gave to me of himself, things I had never had in my marriage. I deeply love this… Read more »
I agree and Adam, I like the nonsensical approach but the reality is that if a guy truly loves you, you’ll know it. If you don’t? He doesn’t love you. Actions speak FAR louder than any words.
As always: great material. Informative, practical; entertaining.
“Put you in your place” struck me as sexist and chauvinistic.
Would you be willing to use different language?
No woman wants to be put in her “place” because that “place” is arbitrary and usually subordinate. AKA: no fun.
Thank you.
Hi Pamela – I completely understand why you would perceive it that way. I will be careful in the future. Just know – that of course, a woman can DEFINITELY put a man in his place just as equally.
A lot of men do this for selfish manipulative reasons too… there is a good reason for men to do this especially in the beginning but if it feels like he thinks he’s better than me it ruins it… Iñafter telling him I don’t like staying up late usually , and then I playfully admired how he was able to be so successful getting no sleep, driving and taking late at night , he enjoyed that, but it really goes to his head. The next day he texts “wake up!” At like 12 noon. Obviously I am not a slug… Read more »
The most important thing my man can do for me, is be giving of his time
Giving me his time.
Part of me feels selfish for breaking up with him after watching this video. But I just always had this feeling like he wanted me to more than him in the relationship, and it was a huge inconvenience if he did anything. Part of me still misses him because I loved him.
He does all of those things but still only wants to be casual after 4 years. I go away and try dating others but I keep coming back. I truly believe he loves me but won’t commit. I enjoy your videos but I think perhaps at my age, the game changes. I am 52 and have been married and raised my family. What I want now is a real companion who has my back as I will have his. It is hard to be in the dating scene again, it has changed so much. We used to just go out… Read more »
I would say Consistancy is a bit indicator. That his words and actions match up, and that they are always there each week etc for you.
Hi Adam ,
Me and my ex boyfriend just got back together last week and everything had been great although he brought something up yesterday that made him jealous before without me knowing and now he’s leaving on a trip today and he has been completely ignoring me .i didn’t even get to see him one last time .
Hi Adam,
My situation is complicated.
I am married (4 years now) . It was an arranged marriage & has not been consummated. Should I stay or leave?
He is a good guy but I have very brotherly feeling towards him and we are cohabiting in a house like roommates. Zero physical contact but I have deep conversations with him. I am confused and I really want to have a baby.
Hi adam! I have this guy in our office that show so much concern & attention to me. He brought noodles for me & my family. And i always ask him if he miss me; miss us? But he jusr shrugged his shoulder. Does he also likes me? Bur he is a married man.
I disagree with #1 and #3. If a man argues with me, questions what I do, and teases me, he will be gone FAST. I will not tolerate someone who undermines me in these ways and makes me feel insecure or like I’m wrong all the time. I knew a man would be writing an article like this, because men like to feel superior and do these things to women to “show them who’s boss”, but we don’t have to go along with it. A man I’m with would have to be a yes man and never tease me. If… Read more »
Heather not all guys feel that way and sometimes do this because there not sure how to talk to you so they treat you like they would their best friend that means teasing not all guys think that they are superior to girls in fact most guys don think that at all, also if a guy tells you somethings a bad idea he is not doing it to argue with you he is probably trying to help you out in any way he can I mean if he always says yes than the relationship is kinda one sided when your… Read more »
Gosh your very harsh on men that tease, in my experience a man tease is one of his way of showing affection. A real man try’s to be masculine, rather than get all soft in public with emotional comments ( he does this in the bedroom) , in public he shows affection through teasing, so get over your woman’s lib attitude and tease back, it’s fun and brings laughter into the relationship.. also I appreciate my man calling me out on an issue as long as it’s done in the right manner, no verbal abuse. I can then reavaluate myself… Read more »
hi. I am a single lady aged 35. recently I encountered a man aged 23 flatter with me. we chat a lot daily , he says he misses me and at a point requested to be referring to me as mom. recently he told me that he has a girlfriend although he wants to go with me for a vocation and always be post this phrase” I love you mom” and I miss you mom” he confessed that were it not for our age difference we could be married now. I am confused if there is love brewing up or… Read more »
hey Adam I’m in this kind of situation and I don’t know what to make of it. I have been going out with this guy since January it’s now 6 months and all this time we have never had sex though we kiss every single time we meet. When I had just met him he told me that he doesn’t want me to fall in love with him because he will hurt me and when I’m hurt I will leave him yet he doesn’t want me to leave him. I didn’t want to fall in love with him but along… Read more »
Don’t know what Adam will say. there could be cultural considerations of which I am unaware. But not knowing if there is any reason there, this is what I think. If you are wanting sex after 6 months and he is not ( forget his kiss and his hard), he likely has a problem related to sex. Could be gay, or have problem performing like keeping a hard, have an extremely small penis, or have a problem with premature ejaculation, or have no idea of what to do to pleasure you (which would not stop a guy who is 15… Read more »
There is a guy i met online he always compliments me asks about my day, texts me and actually wants to talk to me sometimes. However lately he just pulled apart always busy but re assures me that when he gets the chance hel actually talk to me. But when i ask of his day, just replies he was too busy and his day was long. At nights if i texted him he would ask of my day and after a little while if i got nothing else to say hed tell me he needs to sleep and we sure… Read more »
I love this so much! Every once in awhile I start to feel insecure about my relationship with my guy. We have been dating about 7 months and it’s going really great. We don’t spend every waking moment together and it’s okay. He does everything that you spoke about in this video and this make me super happy. Haha I’ll be checking out the rest of your videos.
Thanks for giving a girl something realistic to think about.
Trish
I have a boyfriend, but we have been together three months now, but we are not close to each other. We heard some thing to do with each other once before he travelled back. I don’t no if he truly loves me.
Hold up. I disagree with number 3. If he’s really into you he won’t risk losing you by teasing you too much. Maybe I’m living in fantasy land, but I’ve been in verbally abusive situations. I’m tired of being the nice girl so I don’t tolerate this.
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that you simply shared this helpful info with us.
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Hey Adam! I absolutely love your videos! I found a healthy, stable relationship thanks to you! But I’ve been struggling lately. I need your help. Before I found my guy now I’ve been emotionally hurt by my parents and past relationships. I’ve noticed with my guy that my guy likes to be alone a lot and to me that looks like he doesn’t like me. He isn’t the lovey dovey type, he’s not clingy. To me that makes me feel like he doesn’t love me but this article showed me that he doesn’t have to be that way In order… Read more »
Hello!i need advice pls, am currently in a relationship,we cool doh and it’s a distance tin, we comunicate bt qurrels often bt I love him ND he Luvs me too, bt little bit shaking now,,and now anoda guy is in d picture asking for relationship ND marriage lata, now am confuse, am still dating my bf bt dnt know if I shld give dis oda guy a chance,, d new guy is my neighbour too, am asking for a relationship…
Plz help me, ur suggestion is appreciated!!
Please use English spelling and grammar so we may better understand your problem
Use English!
Thanks Very Much Adam.
Great insight…
I feel like this an initial list for when someone feels confortable around you. These things dont mean love, comfort can come from a good place but it can also mean you dont care. Additionally I see nothing about kindness, compassion, and understanding. Seeing these things from your partner are more fundamental to love than seeing if they like to tease you. Just an opinion.
i like this guy i cant tell if he is flirting and if he is i am to shy and socialy akward to flirt back .
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Is this true? My ex did all of them and he still broke up with me blindsidedly. 🙁
Hello, all is going perfectly here and ofcourse every one is sharing
facts, that’s really fine, keep up writing.
So i told my bf i want to shave my head,he said if that makes u happy im happy,i have np i will love u either way♀️
You can also check how emostionally and physically your partenr is active by checking his/her Rice Purity Score
Very interesting article, I agree with every statement! The man in love will do almost everything for you, that’s true story! But it may be hard to find true love in this time.
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I am super glad I read this article. I am in a new relationship. Such a wonderful guy, who had recently just told me he loves me. Now we both say it all the time. We both have kids, and have ex spouses we need to coparent with. Not the best experiences with our last partners, so I guess I’ve been trying to read up some things, because I know it isn’t healthy to make assumptions. I’ve just been having fears of losing a good thing, and I know it can be dangerous to compare your past with something potentially… Read more »
My girlfriend is really into music, so the best way for me to show her love is by creating playlists. I have no idea how to create music, and she knows that, so I just download the songs I think she might like with Tubidy and create playlists for her. She really appreciates that, and I can say that it feels amazing to know that she actually enjoys listening to my playlists and finding secret messages.
You can download love songs as ringtones at this site: https://dzwoneknatelefon.com/
Jazakallah. Understanding the signs he loves you helps build confidence in your relationship. It’s reassuring to see his actions speak louder than words, creating a strong connection and mutual understanding