3 Signs He Loves You But Is Scared of Commitment

3 Signs He Loves You But Is Scared of Commitment

Has this ever happened to you? You’re dating an amazing guy, and while things are going well, you’re a bit confused. There are definitely signs he loves you but is scared.

Let’s review.

You meet a guy and the sparks are clearly there. When you’re together, it’s like you can conquer the world as a pair.

Without warning…

He pulls away.

He seems to retreat into his tough turtle shell, leaving you standing there with your heart on your sleeve.

What gives?

You’ve been so careful about not coming on too strong. You’re sure that you read into the signs that he might be falling in love with you, and yet, all of a sudden, he seems to have done a 180.

What did you do wrong? How can you fix it?

Trust me, gal, it’s not you.

It’s him.

In today’s video, I’m going to explain exactly why he’s pulled away from you, what’s going on inside men’s minds when this happens, and, more importantly, what you can do about it when he shows those signs he loves you but is scared.


Before you throw your hands up and decide that this guy has bitten the dust like the rest, allow me to give you some advice.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You don’t want to miss out on a good thing.

Just because a guy is hesitant about moving forward in your relationship, it doesn’t always mean that you should assume he’s not boyfriend potential.

It may be that he’s in love with you but is wrestling with the commitment side of things.

He may have decided long ago that commitment wasn’t for him, and then you show up and rock his world, confusing him and making him withdraw. He wants you…but he doesn’t want commitment.

And as we all know, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Your Coach,
Adam

PS:  Now that you know the signs he loves you but is scared of commitment, let me show you the 3 ways to make “The One” pursue you, and only you.

Summary –

afraid to commit

Get to the bottom of why he’s afraid to commit.

If you’re unsure what’s going on in his heart, you simply need to pay better attention to understand why he’s doing what he’s doing. Pulling away emotionally is not always an indicator of the end of a relationship (though, you need to know when it is. When a guy ghosts, sometimes you need to let him go.), and may require a bit of patience on your part to help him work through it.

Women often think that love is binary.

If he loves me, then he wants to be with me forever and all the time!

Right?

Wrong.

I try to stay away from such black and white ideals. Love is all about the gray area, let me tell you.

He may have completely fallen in love with you, but if he’s got other stuff going on in his head or past experiences that bar him from being ready to be vulnerable to you, you’re gonna be swimming in that gray area for a while. So, in other words: he may show those signs he loves you but he’s scared of letting go and giving into love.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; you just have to be aware of what’s going on with him and figure out the best course of action to get what you want: commitment from him.

But how can you know if he’s in love with you but is afraid to commit? Read on, my Sweet, Sassy Lady. Let’s navigate this tricky subject together.

1. It’s Either Fireworks…or Crickets

signs he loves you

Things are hot and passionate when you’re together.

When you’re together, it’s BAM! BOOM! The sparks flying between you two could burn the building down.

Conversation is on point. You laugh together. You feel connected.

But when you’re apart, you get just…crickets.

He doesn’t call or text for a couple of days. He’s noncommittal about making plans. You’re ready to throw in the towel.

Here’s why your guy does this hot/cold thing, why he shows signs he is scared of commitment. It’s pretty common for guys who aren’t ready to jump into a relationship to be different in person than they are when they’re away from you.

Your guy may have been single for a long time, and quite content to be so. Maybe he planned to be an eligible bachelor (not unlike this rhino on Tinder) for the rest of his life.

But then you entered his life, and his plans were shattered.

Logically, he continues to believe that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship (whether he acknowledges that he’s scared of commitment or not), though his heart is not in agreement with his brain. He’s definitely giving off signs he is confused about his feelings for you.

And so, he’s left with a dilemma. The more he spends time with you, the more his heart will take over. And the more his brain will fight it.

Heart: She’s so incredible. Funny, sweet, sexy. The whole package.

Brain: Resist! We do not need this! Alert! Alert!

A man is taught, unfortunately, that being vulnerable is a bad thing. That it makes them less of a man, somehow.

In fact, the opposite is true. Being emotionally vulnerable can help him become more intimate with you, and lay the foundation for a healthy relationship.

Still, that conditioning may cause him to pull away when he starts feeling vulnerable around you. It is, of course, harder to resist your charms in person, but when he’s away from you, it’s easier for him to have some distance from this bewitching woman that’s got his heart on fire.

You may ask yourself is he confused or not interested in me? Know that this isn’t the case.

What can you do? Gently point out the discrepancy in his behavior from when you’re together and when you’re not. Let him know that you miss that connection you feel when you’re together when you’re separate. Don’t pressure him to commit just yet, but do let him know that you value what you’re building together.

2. He’s Not Putting a Ton of Energy into the Relationship

in love with you

He’s putting his energy everywhere but into your relationship.

A guy who’s ready for long-term commitment, and who wants to be with you for the long haul, is going to want to spend a lot of his time with you. He’s going to put his energy into the relationship in an effort to grow it in a positive manner.

But maybe your guy — despite the signs that he loves you — seems to be putting his energy everywhere but into your relationship. He may have even told you that he’s in love with you, and yet his behavior says otherwise.

Maybe he can’t go out with you…because he’s playing video games with the boys.

Perhaps he canceled plans tonight…because he needs to clean his house.

You may have asked him to read a book on commitment and relationships…but he got caught up in a Game of Thrones binge instead.

While his house sparkles and his video game skillz get better, you’re left feeling like your relationship is in a hamster wheel.

If he’s afraid of commitment, why the hell did he bother telling you he loved you?

I typically see this situation when the guy is a bit younger than the gal, or when he’s not to the level of emotional maturity in his life that she is in hers.

While we may not (yet) be able to scientifically prove that men are often less emotionally mature than women of the same age, science does back up the fact that there are differences in men’s and women’s brains, resulting in different strengths and focuses.

Even if your man is the same age as you, he may not be as ready to develop a relationship as you are.

Men often make a bucket list of things they want to accomplish before they settle down.

Maybe he wants to get a promotion or become more financially stable first.

Maybe he wants to sow his wild oats. Or realize his dream of becoming a professional video gamer.

Whatever his goal, you are thwarting his dreams, even if deep down, he knows they will never come true.

He must reach that maturity point before he will think to himself, Now’s the time to settle down with one special lady.

That’s when guys flip the switch on their attitudes about commitment and become willing to invest their emotions and time into settling down.

I know, I know. You can’t plan life out like that, otherwise we’d all become millionaires and live out every fantasy we have before settling down. But the male ego is fragile, and when you upset its balance, he will naturally pull away until he rectifies that his life is taking a direction other than the one he planned.

Pay attention to these signs that he is denying his feelings for you, but be patient. He’ll come around. He just needs to realize that being with you is better than any far-fetched dream he had of becoming a professional skydiver.

3. He Says He’s In Love With You, But Shies Away from Making Future Plans

wedding bells

He may run when you bring up wedding bells.

You don’t get it.

He is willing to meet your parents.

He’s gone out with you and your friends.

He even invited you to keep a drawer in his apartment for your things.

But at the same time, he shuts down when you talk about the future.

He might freak out when you bring up the “M” word (marriage). He might turtle when you bring up going on vacation in a month.

His fight or flight response tells you that he needs to work through a few things. While there may certainly be signs that he loves you, he’s clearly not ready to take the plunge. Men who are commitment-focused will be more comfortable talking about the future and making future plans. If he throws up in his mouth a little whenever you talk about anything past today, you’ll need a strategy to deal with it.

First of all, realize that being averse to talking about the long-term doesn’t mean a guy doesn’t love you. It is, in fact, one of the signs that he loves you but is scared of what the future brings.

Scientists have found that commitment phobia is a real thing. It may be caused by his past experiences in relationships, or even his parents’ relationship, especially if they divorced when he was young.

The worst thing you can do is try to force him into committing. While he pulls away, it may be your instinct to pull him closer, but take it from me: the best thing you can do right now is give him some space to process the idea of settling down with you.

He’s not going anywhere.

And why do you need to rush it? You have his love. If you’re patient and give him time to work through his issues, he will commit when he’s ready.

And even if you’re not talking wedding bells and he still freaks out about making plans, take a cue from him. Does he only seem to be willing to make vacation plans a month out rather than six months? Give up your need to control and be a little more loosey goosey, and you’ll end up in Maui with him after all.

Don’t be afraid to bring up the conversation occasionally about why he’s averse to talking future, since talking about his fears and phobias can only help him work through them. The more you discuss it, the better you will be able to understand why he feels the way he does. But realize that giving him an ultimatum (marry me in 6 months or I walk) will never get you the results you want.

 

Conclusion:

Like I said: things are very rarely black and white when it comes to love.

When you have two people, two distinct personalities, it can be near impossible to line up your maturity rate, your wants, and your needs. You might have sown your wild oats when you were a teenager, whereas he was a late bloomer and is now enjoying dating without commitment in his 30s.

You can’t fault him for being in a different place in his life mentally and emotionally than you are.

What you can do is decide if he’s worth waiting for, and if you really believe he will eventually overcome his fear of commitment because he’s so in love with you.

On the other hand..

If it’s been a while and he’s not budging on the whole commitment issue, ask yourself whether it’s worth it to continue in a relationship with a man who can’t commit. While you absolutely should compromise to some degree in a relationship, you can’t ignore your own desire to settle down with a man who values you enough to commit to you long-term. If it becomes a point of contention in your relationship — him continuing to insist he’ll never want to get married, and you begging him to change his mind — then realize that this isn’t the relationship for you.

If he’s not willing to give you love and commitment, it’s time to look yourself in the mirror, examine your relationship, and be willing to walk away in order to find what makes you happy. At the end of the day, the best thing you can do is be real with yourself and him.

The right man will commit, even if it takes him a while to come around.

Let me help you one step further: my Casual to Committed Program is designed to help savvy ladies just like you turn a casual relationship into a long-lasting and fulfilling commitment. Get exclusive access today

3 Signs He Loves You But Is Scared of Commitment
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Adam LoDolce

Love Strategist

My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story

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M.
4 years ago

My guy stated on our first date he didn’t want marriage, I was ok with it as I was divorced also. We instantly fell for each other, him first really. 10 months of near perfection. We spent our days at work chatting through text and phone calls. We rotated between his house and mine. He gave me his house key. Our kids got along, perfect. Then one day he woke me up from a nap, saying he was unhappy with himself, and needed to be alone for a while. Um…….ok…… it’s ben a month. So far we can’t go more… Read more »

Been there
4 years ago
Reply to  M.

There’s another woman in the picture, just do your own thin, make yourself happy, and f-him, allow the space for someone into your life who really deserves to have you. He is playing games and the more you give in, the less he’ll respect you or want you.

1 year ago
Reply to  Been there

All my friends said

Carrie Ann
3 years ago
Reply to  M.

I am in a sticky situation with a guy who showed all the signs of commitment and we were seeing eachother for 3 months .We both live in the capital during the week and travel to our common hometown at the weekends , he brought me out on dates , stayed 2-3 nights per week together, made plans with my friends . He would meet me for coffee on our way home at the weekends and surprised me on my lunch on a couple of occasions driving out to the university to see me . After 1month and a half… Read more »

Maddy
2 years ago
Reply to  Carrie Ann

Did he ever come back to you? I am in almost exact same situation. So confused how he can want to stop seeing me when it felt like he was falling in love with me, all of a sudden now he says he can’t be in a relationship.

2 years ago
Reply to  Carrie Ann

Omg !!! Please let me know if he did come around …. I’m confused and confuffled at the moment whyyyyy do they do this

Tina W
6 months ago
Reply to  Carrie Ann

Carrie Ann, how did this turn out? Could you share an update?

Sharie
2 years ago
Reply to  M.

Sounds like he meant what he said about not wanting to get married — which is the track all relationships ride on regardless of whether the train makes it to the station, and he got scared when he realized things are going too well with you. Sounds like you were/are also very sold-out to the way the relationship is going. Be clear on what you want and live the life you deserve. This one is a throw-back. Guys don’t do “closure” and they are always true to themselves. Too bad you guys didn’t meet each other before you married the… Read more »

Alana
1 year ago
Reply to  M.

Hi
I’m sorry about your situation. In my opinion, you two became too familiar, too fast and now his bored. Take back your power and don’t contact him. His on his way out of this relationship. You have become his ‘ casual’ girlfriend, until he finds another, more exiting one.

Lin
1 year ago
Reply to  M.

He got what he wanted. To just see you once a week while he does what he wants the rest of the week. And you’re falling for it.

Elis
4 years ago

Hi Adam, great video again ! I just came out of a 2 and half year relationship. He had every sign you were talking about. Everything was going great, He took me to meet his parents and family and friends over Christmas break. He tells me all the time he wants to grow old with me and have kids with me. He even took me on a vacation right before breaking up with me. All because we started talking about the possibilities of moving in together. He said he didn’t want to share with anyone and he is not a… Read more »

Aseel
4 years ago

Hi Adam , thanx for video
I engaged to the guy who keep telling me that he love me so much and I love him but at the same time he don’t communicate with me whole week. And our meeting is just on Sunday. When I ask him why he is doing that, he said I’m just busy working
Now , I just confuse how should I deal with that, I really communicate more and share with him ecery single moment of my life.

Aseel
4 years ago

Hi Adam , thanx for video
I engaged to the guy who keep telling me that he love me so much and I love him but at the same time he don’t communicate with me whole week. And our meeting is just on Sunday. When I ask him why he is doing that, he said I’m just busy working
Now , I just confuse how should I deal with that, I really communicate more and share with him every single moment of my life.

1 year ago
Reply to  Aseel

I did not understand what you mean by that.

Melissa Harper
4 years ago

Yes. Just recently stopped focusing on it and have walked away. He still keeps trying but his attempts are not very impressive.

Mm
2 years ago
Reply to  Melissa Harper

Same! Anyone can call. So heartbreaking

Isabel
4 years ago

Hi Adam,
I really enjoy watching your videos. I’ve learned a lot about men and the do’s and dont’s in a relationship from you. I have some questions I would like to ask you and maybe some advice from you. I believe I’ve found a good guy but I’m kind of stuck. Would like to tell you my story.
Please respond to me.
Thank you.

Loyalnlove
1 year ago
Reply to  Isabel

My man and I have been together for almost 5 yrs. We live together. He’s been the step father to my daughter since just before her 3rd birthday. He got down on one knee and proposed to my daughter asking if she would allow him to be her dad… Since we’ve been together, we’ve had our ups and downs(admittedly due to a few short comings on both ends including his general fear of commitment), bought a home, moved across country, gone through 3 very messy(2wk long/emergency)funeral situations, had his drunken/addict brothers and mine live with us for a chance to… Read more »

Marla
4 years ago

I can’t stop thinking about a gentleman I dated . We are still friends but he is standoffish towards me. We experienced being intimate and he had a hard time . I tried to reassure him everything was ok ever since we stopped seeing each other. He extended an invitation to his birthday party, stating his friends wanted him to invite me. Why? Also they mention they hadheard alot about me. What was said I don’t know. He continues to tell me timing is off . Mentions he will take me to Paris in two years. And said he would… Read more »

Eliza Francis
4 years ago

This is similar to what Im going through right now! We’ve been friends for a year witg strong chemistry and attraction the whole time! Finally, a few months ago he kissed me out of the blue and everything took off from there. However when I pressed him on the issue of where we were headed he reluctantly told me about an ex from 20 years ago (who lives in another continent) with whom he is basically in love with! He has treated me like a girlfriend the last few months and has told me on more than one occasion so… Read more »

Teesa
1 year ago
Reply to  Eliza Francis

Sounds like he is A DISMISDOVE AVOIDANR TYPE PERSONALITY. LOOKIT UP AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE,. THE OTHER DIRECTION FROM HIM

Eliza
4 years ago

This is similar to what Im going through right now! We’ve been friends for a year with strong chemistry and attraction the whole time! Finally, a few months ago he kissed me out of the blue and everything took off from there. However when I pressed him on the issue of where we were headed he reluctantly told me about an ex from 20 years ago (who lives in another continent) with whom he is basically in love with! He has treated me like a girlfriend the last few months and has told me on more than one occasion that… Read more »

Lexa
4 years ago

I’ve definitely been in this situation! It was a recent long distance relationship for two years. We lived on opposite sides of the country, him based in California and myself in New England. I’m 27 and he’s 31. He’s a marine so he doesn’t have the flexibility to live where he wants, but at the time I did. So after two years I brought up the subject of me moving to be closer to him and he just freaked out. I ended up breaking up with him because I was sick of the distance and I wanted to move forward… Read more »

Avi
1 year ago
Reply to  Lexa

He freaked out because he didn’t want you and obviously had another girlfriend or girls in California! You SO made the right decision. Don’t marry military my ex was a marine and i won’t date a military man again. Too many have issues or are users, big entitlement. They want to have a hero label without necessarily doing shit , oh and then they’re usually “victims” too. Victims who get paid on my tax$. You dodged a bullet,and he probably never has

Dena
4 years ago

Adam, I lived with a guy for TWO and A HALF YEARS who was forever telling me how much he loved me…but that he didn’t see me in his future. I was sure that in time, he would come around, but guess what, he didn’t. We would break up and then get back together, break up and get back together. One day, an old boyfriend called me when he came to town for a visit to his folks. We went out and totally clicked. At this point, he was very interested in a committed relationship and pursued me whole heartedly.… Read more »

Omolade Yusuf
2 years ago
Reply to  Dena

Great i love this

yrya
4 years ago

very good advices Adam thanxx

Karin
4 years ago

Hey Adam. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. We are faithful and honest to each other. He treats me the way I want to be treated. We have a great relationship. But he just a week ago freaked and started backing away suddenly. He has a track record of being afraid to commit. It’s usually the 3 month mark that he runs in relationships. He wast honest and told me he just got scared and was looking for a way out with me. That he doesn’t know why he does this. He told me I’m different… Read more »

Leslie
3 years ago

I contacted Dr.mac@yahoo. com because i was so heartbroken and don’t know what to do with myself but after 3 days of contacting Dr Mack , my lover came back to me, this is unbelievable.

Doris
3 years ago

Some people don’t like posting stuff for everyone to see I know I am one of those can you send private messages to those that have messenger or have an email.

Sam
3 years ago

Hi, My boyfriend broke up with me. When I ask why, I get very different reasons. The night he was drunk after his birthday he told me he didn’t want to ruin my life. He told me he broke his heart 4 times and now its fucked up. He told me he wants me to hate him because he deserves it. And then he told me that he could not handle our relationship because he felt like he was married. I asked him what made him feel like this. And he doesn’t have a answer. He didn’t give me a… Read more »

JIll beck
3 years ago

My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 17. It has now been 6 years. He is very driven with his career and wants nothing more than to be successful. Even though we have been together 6 years we also got together very young. I do not think he’s ready for a commitment I have no doubt he loves me but withdrawals when talking about the future. Recently he told me he wants a break to figure out whether he can fully commit to the relationship as it isn’t unfair on me. After the break he has told… Read more »

Keeley
1 year ago
Reply to  JIll beck

This is literally exactly my situation now!! Talks about marriage and dying together when we’re old but after 5 years and also being together since we were 17, he also needs to figure out what he wants and he isn’t extremely confused. Please let me know what’s happened with you!

Persephone
3 years ago

Oh, my, goodness. You want to get married? What a handsome guy. Okay, I didn’t think anyone else would catch my eye except this wonderful precious thing that I’m seeing. Is there any hope to change his mind? I’m trying. I know he loves me. I know it. He is the love of my life. But he’s a commitment-phobe. He’s also from a different country. Here’s what I’m doing. He has the offer to try out living with me for 2 months. If he still feels the same way, and doesn’t want to commitment, then he’s free to go back… Read more »

Kathryn Elizabeth Houck
3 years ago

Im living with a guy who says I love u miss u but is terrify of commitment don’t know what to do abt it need help been hurt he said is frightened be my beat friend and says I love u I have fallen in love am hurting

CC
3 years ago

I have known a guy for 3 years now. I am completely in love with every little thing about him. He’s everything I want in a man, since the first day he came up to me I knew it. We stayed friends and hung out a lot, but I never pressured him into commitment, because of how much i just loved his company. There is always sparks between us when we’re around eachother. He tells me “you make me feel different than anyone ever has made me feel”. But everytime we hang out I wouldn’t hear from him for the… Read more »

UNKNOWN
2 years ago

I been waiting for a guy to commit for 4 years. He is 30 years now and I am 25. I have given up now but I still love him and will always do. I know he loves me back and no man ever have cared for me so much when I am with him. When I am NOT with him I dont hear from him, or if I send texts he most of the time find me clingy and avoid responding. I have given him all the power to take me for granted and accepted last minute meetings because… Read more »

loubelle
2 years ago
Reply to  UNKNOWN

i was with the ex 5 years, he said all the right things, cried all the faux tears, however when it came down to brass tacks he used me so he could get on his feet and no doubt find someone else when he got there, he got there with my help, and ‘forced’ me to ditch him through lack of commitment which is exactly the cowardly thing he did. its all about self pity and he can tell everyone i dumped him (after going through hell in 5 years to be with him and through all his crap). look… Read more »

loubelle
2 years ago
Reply to  UNKNOWN

btw, if a man really wants you, he will chase you and try at least one last time. My ex didnt and that proved who did the chasing all the way through 5 years (me). He was lazy in life and lazy in the relationship (unless he only benefited) . If he doesnt attempt to reconcile after a break etc, then let him go , no contact and move on. Theres guys who will commit, new guy, an ex (as long as old problems are resolved before getting bk together). theres another person who commented on here that she went… Read more »

MIchelle
2 years ago

I have been seen a guy for 15 months, 4 weeks ago he called it off due to his work commitments as he works most days and does 12 hrs shift he desired that he can’t do commitment and feels he’s not been fair to me, as he can’t do what gd and bf stuff I have told him that I really dnt mi d as I really care for him but he still insists that he can’t do commitment/ can’t do live at the moment, he as asked for us to be friends with Benifits as he loves sex… Read more »

Lily
2 years ago
Reply to  MIchelle

What your ex-boyfriend is saying to you is that you are not worthy of being his partner; you’re only good for sex. To him, you are a useful sex toy. How soul destroying is that? If that is what you want and how you view yourself, then accept the friends with benefit offer. But if you value yourself and know that you are worthy of companionship, love, respect and human dignity, then move on and find someone who is worth of YOU!

Tracy
2 years ago

Hi Adam, my name is Tracy and my boyfriend, is 60 yrs old ,he was married, his wife pass away last February. We got together in may this yr 2017 , he has been giving me a lot of mix single, everytime I ask him if he a good marriage, he says yes , now last night, I thought we was getting some where in the relationship, we had great sex , I ask him if I could come over tonight on Wed the 15 of nov. He said no wait until Friday night why do i have to ask,… Read more »

Tracy
2 years ago
Reply to  Tracy

Iam 60 yrs old too

BETHANY
2 years ago

I MUST TESTIFY TO THE GREAT POWERS OF dr_mack THE SPELL CASTER THAT BROUGHT BACK MY HUSBAND WITHIN 48HOURS. IF YOU NEED HIS HELP JUST CONTACT HIM AT: ___dr.mack201@gmail.com
BETHANY

Kimberly smart
2 years ago

We have been dating for 4yrs now and we live together had plans for our future but recently he said he his confused and feels he can’t love me as much as I do but still want to be with me . What do u think I should do

Ally
2 years ago

Hello Adam, I’ve been casually seeing a guy since summer its only normally me going to his of a evening and we chat laugh a lot. We have amazing chemistry its mind blowing. He has said to me he isn’t looking fot a relationship its just sex. He said he doesn’t want me to catch feelings. I lied and said I was fine with it because even tho I like him a lot I don’t want to not see him at all. I hope his mind might change but am scared if I keep at it I’ll just be punishing… Read more »

sherri
2 years ago

my ex boyfriend broke my heart but someone did a great love charm for me and brought my ex back to me greatmutaba@gmail.com thank you for your help

Maz
2 years ago

Yes I just ended a LDR relationship with a guy who showed ALL of these signs although during the initial stages, he led me to believe something else. I believe he loves me and he has told me so, the connection was incredible and all his friends joked about him being like a lovesick teenager, however, whenever plans for the future, however minor, came up, I watched him physically freak out – it was actually quite amazing to watch. It took me a while to realise that this wasn’t about me – it was totally about him. In the end… Read more »

E
2 years ago

I’ve been seeing someone for a year. In the beginning he stated clearly that he liked to be alone and didn’t want a relationship. I wasn’t in a rush for that and really enjoyed our time and stuck around while he finished graduate school and took on a new position. Now, he’s introducing me to family and friends, planning vacations with me, and showing vulnerability. I’ve fallen for him and want to build a future. He knows this and had stopped saying he valued his freedom too much to commit. I relaxed and just decided to enjoy it until the… Read more »

Lily
2 years ago
Reply to  E

I think he’s a good guy with issues he needs to work through. Just go back to that relaxed, chilled out girl he started out with. Don’t pressure him…let him work through what’s on his mind and allow him to come to a conclusion without interference from you. One way or the other, it will come out in the wash. He will either permit himself to receive love and give you love back, or he will not. Then you will know what to do. Expect love, but also prepare to move on if that doesn’t happen.

Bethanie
2 years ago

My ex husband and I recently got back together (together 8 yrs, divorced 1 yr) about a year before our divorce things get pretty ugly but we always pretty much kept in contact and still love each other but could not live together .. recently I heard through the grapevine , that he had just started dating a friend of mine‘s younger sister. I was devastated because I was still in love with him. when he found out, he immediately broke up with her and wanted to get back with me because he said he still loved me and missed… Read more »

CLAUDiA
2 years ago

I’ve been seen this guy for six months, used to work with him, he was my boss. We have a great first month, no figths, great sex, he was a little confuse pulling back and forward, normal stuff… then a situation at work got confuse, he felt like I step on his feet and everything turn into chaos. I’m living a circle with him, a fight because he think I want something ( is because Ilive and give like with not expectations) , then good sex w/ cuddling and sleep over, then he goes back to his cave, we get… Read more »

S
2 years ago

I’ve been dating someone for six months. When we had first started dating he told me that he had been in a long term relationship only four months prior and she had left him for someone else. I appreciated his honesty and I could tell that it was something he wasn’t over. I decided to keep seeing him, at that time it was a lot of fun. We had a really great connection and the sex was awesome. I fell in love with him fairly quickly. He met my family, I met his. I got work in the same city… Read more »

John
2 years ago

Stupid women. You always say “I know he loves me, but…”. Listen up: If he loves you he wants to be with you, and he’ll do anything to make it happen. If he pulls away, he’s done. Don’t make yourself look like a fool chasing after him. If he’s not doing what you want, or you’re “confused” (code word for female stupidity) just dump him. You need to get over this idea that all men love you. We don’t, and we wish you could take a hint.

Marylyn
2 years ago
Reply to  John

Thats beautiful, as a woman, i was thinking the exact same thing, lol. Thank you for the “tough love”

6 months ago
Reply to  Marylyn

Marilyn if you’re talking to me, you’re welcome! Either way, I’m glad something spoke to you,

Lily
2 years ago
Reply to  John

John, you said it like it should be SAID! You nailed it, man!!

6 months ago
Reply to  John

John—there’s truth in what you say, but calling us stupid is pretty crappy of you. Why? Because when we are in these situations we already feel stupid and unwanted. Thanks for making it worse. However, I ageee that we as women say “I know he loves me,” and unfortunately we are defining love all wrong. Where is the evidence of love? I had an on again off again “thing” with a man I adored, and he would even go so far as to send weird emoji messages like a pic of an eye, a pick of a heart and the… Read more »

Roxy
2 years ago

Tell me this if you are such an expert…. my significant other, boyfriend, love of my life – who was with me for 2 years day and night. We were moving in together, family planning, and talking about to get engaged… breaks up with me 3 days before we move in together. We were active on starting a family… A man who doesn’t want that – doesn’t try to start that. And it is has been 4 months he hasn’t spoken to me since the day he broke up with me. I believe we are meant to be together. How… Read more »

Gina
2 years ago

I ended a short relationship of three months with my ex. He seems to be obsessed now in proving to me he really does love me but I’m scared now to let him back in. In the beginning, things were “normal” and I didn’t see any red flags. Shortly thereafter, I noticed that he often needs attention and validation from females as he has a lot of female social media friends. I’m not one to be all that jealous so I just carried on with the relationship with a side eye. Later, I found out he was romancing and talking… Read more »

Lec
1 year ago
Reply to  Gina

Story of my love life… can’t commit to commitment but can’t also commit to breaking up and moving on … sigh

Londie
2 years ago

I met a guy four months ago and we clicked from the start, but lately his totally different when we together all is good but when we apart he will go days without talking to me or texting, I love him but I feel like his playing me, I’ve tried talking to him but he still hasn’t changed.

Chris
2 years ago

I met a man from my hometown while I was living in another state. We began an online relationship where we talked or texted every day for 3 months. We were very open about our pasts and we both seemed to be on the same page. He knew i would return within a year and was interested in seeing him. We even managed to go on an actual date that was amazing when I came home for a visit one weekend. We didn’t sleep together, but we did “make out” and cuddle for a good portion of the night. He… Read more »

lane
1 year ago
Reply to  Chris

I think he is not that physically attracted to you although he may like you a lot. Guys usually do not want to be in the friend zone unless they are not feeling chemistry. He may like you a lot, like hanging out with you .. but that is not what you want. There could be another woman he has interest in also. If this was me, I would let go of my fantasies about him and move on.

1 year ago

A man is taught, unfortunately, that being vulnerable is a bad thing

pam
1 year ago

Here is one for U. I was involved on with a man after a break up and we were going to be just “friends” about a year ago and do things together because he said he loved his ex and wanted her back. That was fine with me at the time. U know what happened. So we had sex and the relationship never really got going because the ex was always in the background. He ended the sex part of the relationship 6 months after we started. Because we live on a small island and see each other out often… Read more »

Tonya
1 year ago

For the women out there struggling with a man who cannot commit, to you I am sorry. I understand what it’s like. Here’s the thing, nothing you do is going to change his behavior but backing away and respecting his boundaries and choices. It may sucks that he doesn’t want to stay with you, but remember you are a beautiful, smart individual and for every women there is a man who will lift her up and treat like she deserves to be treated. I pray for those of us who struggle with attachment and neediness, as it is not healthy… Read more »

Taty
1 year ago
Reply to  Tonya

Thank you! I need to hear something like this right now. Get over and move on!

a stressed girl
1 year ago

i m a bsc student and im in 1st year. In the 1st 6 month of my college i dated 3 boys but none of them were good enough so i broke up . NOW In the 2nd semester i am in love with a boy who likes me too (he confessesd that)but donts wants to be in a relationship . We made out with each other number of times,we had sex once ,and we are not even in a relationship ….like wtf is going on? we spend a lots of time together and he is clearly jealous when i… Read more »

a stressed girl
1 year ago

pls ignore my grammatical mistake because i was literaly crying while typing that.

1 year ago

thanks for sharing. Emotions are something you can’t fully figure out no matter how much you try.

1 year ago

My boyfriend and I dated for three years, and when the time comes to marriage, he denies with saying I am in love with other girl. So, for hurting you. A men will be a man.

A
1 year ago

Hi, , in December, my boyfriend was confused and was scared of the future. We used to talk about how the end of next year we will travel or work over seas and he used to say how he can’t wait to live with me etc. Last week, he was upset and confused again and wasn’t sure if we should break up, but then next minute said should we keep going. Our relationship was nothing but amazing and never any problems or fighting. He is an over thinker and kept saying how do you know you’re the one and I… Read more »

Chloe
1 year ago

I see I’m not the only one confused. My boyfriend of a year and a half ended things unexpectedly a couple days ago. We had been talking future concerts, he was going to help me with some stuff for my dad in another state, I had a drawer or two at his house, he has my house key (he doesn’t lock his; small town), I slept there every night, was at his house way more than my own. I knew he didn’t want another roommate or live in girlfriend so I kept some food there for us to eat together… Read more »

Fantasia
1 year ago

I’ve just met this man on an online dating site and we became attracted to one another. He first of all telling me he loved me etc. He is Christian, didn’t believe in God but I’m a Christian and told him about my beliefs, he said it didn’t bother him. Back then as I was still considering our compatibility, he told me to give US a chance and make it work….I agreed not minding I wanted a Christian Man. As the days went by and we talked every single day, sometimes for hours, he started talking about sex this sex… Read more »

Foina
1 year ago
Reply to  Fantasia

Seems like he is interested in a casual relationship and not a serious long term relationship
He is stringing you along so you can fall for his ulterior motives
For online dating it takes time to know someone’s true motives so its better to take things slow and when red flags pop up like him talking of mostly sex ,move on and find someone compatible

totally confused
1 year ago

I met a man 3 years ago and he lives in Tennessee and I live in Calif. He is 53 and I am 68. He has never been married and I am widowed. We have seen each other 3 or four times a year and he has said he loves me but we have never talked about a future. We have more chemistry then I have ever experience with man. We text , me texting more then him, but it has always been good. The last time I was there we went out and had a great time and then… Read more »

1 year ago

Agreed that this happens at times and Men are blamed more for the cause. But have we ever thought the other way round? Do women cheat as well or not? I confess I had cheated my boyfriend because of getting a better one, but down the line I realised, what miserable mistake I did. It applied to both sexes dear. I am sorry 🙁

Blessing
1 year ago

He is never around !when ever we are together, we feel so connected :but when h e is not by my side, he never calls but he said he loves me .we make love when ever we are together still he doesnt want to show any sign of commitment i truely love this guy but not so sure on his side what should i do to get him to show more attention?

Gabriella
1 year ago

I’ve being with this guy in a relationship since November 2016,we had issues September 2017 an settled our defences march 2018 but at the time we settled,he’s slept with his ex before he left the country on February 2018,the sex led to pregnancy which I found out April 2019 when the baby was about 4 months.on his birthday in June 2019 I also found out he is in a serious relationship in China,he came to Nigeria for a visit in July and returned few weeks ago.before he left I asked what he still wants with me and he said he… Read more »

Cindy
11 months ago
Reply to  Gabriella

I know of someone who wanted to have different women in different places…ever though of being with someone who has the same values of loyalty u have…low value people drain high value people…pls don’t forget ur high value traits and become low value like him…

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