26 Soulmate Signs You’ve Found Your Forever Person
From a young age, we’re conditioned to believe that finding our soulmate is the key to falling in love and living happily ever after (thanks, Disney). But what exactly is a soulmate, and what are some of the signs someone is your soulmate? Is it enough if you love each other and don’t want to be with anyone else? How do you know when you’ve met the one? And is it possible to have more than one soulmate?
What is a soulmate, and what are the signs he is your soulmate?
Experts have a few opinions on where the term and concept of a soulmate came from. Many attribute it to Greek myth, saying that, at one point, men and women were united, but out of jealousy, the god Zeus split them apart, and now we spend our lives looking for our matches.
The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote in a letter in the early 1800s: “To be happy in married life… you must have a soulmate.”
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Google “what is a soulmate,” and you’ll get dozens of different answers. I believe that the definition has to be a personal one. For me, I can boil down what a soulmate is into a simple formula:
Best friend + Attraction = Soulmate
Yes, you may have a female best friend or two, but your true soulmate is someone you can’t imagine your life without, plus you’re incredibly attracted to him. And that attraction turns into a deep love that never fades.
But that’s just my definition. You might have your own, so consider what the term soulmate means to you as you read this article.
Sometimes soulmates appear out of nowhere when you least expect it. You may not even be physically attracted to the person at first, but there’s an unexplainable force drawing you together, telling you this person is meant to be a part of your life.
Is your soulmate the same as your partner?
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life… Your partner is something else. That’s your friend. My husband is my best friend. He’s not the mirror that holds up my flaws. He’s just the guy who’s like, ‘I think you’re terrific'”
—Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love.
As Elizabeth Gilbert notes, soulmates aren’t always romantic connections, nor are they always meant to last forever. Sometimes, your soulmate might just be instrumental in helping you have a big breakthrough or grow into the person you came here to be. Soulmates can be friends, family, teachers, strangers, and lovers.
But for this article, I’m going to use the term “soulmate” to describe your forever love, otherwise known as “the one.”
Are soulmates a real thing?
Maybe you’re of the skeptical school of love and think the idea of having a soulmate is ridiculous. You might be surprised to hear that you’re in the minority on that: about 66% of Americans believe in the concept of soulmates. Of course, science can’t prove that soulmates are a tangible thing, and that’s okay. It’s up to you whether you choose to believe or not.
I personally don’t believe that there’s only one person out there for you in a world of 7 billion souls. However, I do believe that when you meet the right person, it truly feels like they are touching your soul.
In the long run, it doesn’t matter if you believe in soulmates or not. If you find someone you love and who returns that love equally, isn’t that what’s important?
Soulmate connection signs vs. everybody else
Whatever your definition is, the person who is your soulmate will be unlike anyone you’ve ever known. Once you find your soulmate, you will look back on every past relationship and realize that it paled in comparison to this one.
You’ve probably experienced lust for someone at some point. Lust is driven primarily by sexual desire. While you will be hot for your soulmate, it’s more than lust. It’s an intimate emotional and physical connection that you don’t get with a hookup.
It can be confusing to know if someone is your soulmate if you believe you love them. It’s a fact: you can love someone without them being your soulmate. You’ll only realize later that, while you loved your ex, it wasn’t as deep as a soulmate relationship. The connection is more profound with a soulmate. Sometimes you can’t know that your ex wasn’t your soulmate until you truly find the right person for you.
Here are 26 signs he’s your soulmate
1. Your souls meet at the right time
For the two of you to be soulmates, you must both be ready to meet each other and receive the connection. This is why you’ll often hear stories of people crossing paths in the past (consciously or not) and not falling in love until many years or decades later. If you’re both ready to welcome in a love that lasts forever, then this is one of the signs you found your soulmate.
2. The love doesn’t dwindle after the infatuation stage
I’ve written before about the different stages of a relationship. The first one is attraction and romance, or infatuation. This stage feels fantastic, but it’s superficial. You don’t know the man you’re dating well enough to see if he’s exhibiting soulmate signs yet. There’s a good chance that infatuation will wear off, and you’ll start to be increasingly annoyed by his flaws.
But when you’re with your soulmate, you feel this silly, goofy, fiery passion and love for him long past the infatuation. You go through the other stages, where you struggle to find your footing in the relationship and then really establish your long-term partnership…and that love is still going strong.
3. You feel like you’ve known him forever
Without getting too woo-woo on you, let me say that some people believe that your soulmate is someone you knew and loved in a past life. It’s a beautiful concept, isn’t it? To imagine that you keep finding and falling in love with the same amazing person life after life?
Regardless of your take on past lives, you just feel like you know this guy, even if you’ve only been with him a few months. He feels familiar in a way that no other man ever has. And you like that feeling.
4. One of the most important soulmate signs is you trust him
Part of feeling like you know a man well is also trusting him. This may surprise you, especially if you believed you had trust issues because of past heartbreak. But because this man feels so familiar, you find it easier to be vulnerable and open with him, which is a great foundation for a long and fantastic relationship.
I know at the start of a relationship, you can often feel wobbly and afraid that things won’t work out, especially if your last few (or dozen) attempts at love didn’t pan out. But with this man, you just trust that it’s going to work out. And that feels pretty damn great, doesn’t it?
5. He’s your best friend
Monica and Chandler in Friends.
Joey and Pacey in Dawson’s Creek.
Jess and Nick in New Girl.
While I wouldn’t recommend modeling your relationship on a TV show, a friendship truly is a wonderful, solid foundation to build a romantic relationship. And even if you weren’t friends first, one of the signs he is your soulmate is if he genuinely is your best friend.
6. You “get” him like no one else
This guy just makes sense to you. It might be his OCD way of getting ready for bed at night, how he eats food off his plate clockwise, or why he hates spiders. Whatever the “thing” is, you get it. You accept his quirks and personality traits as part and parcel of who he is.
Others may question the things he does or write them off as silly, but you’re quick to defend him, knowing there’s a reason for everything he does. He doesn’t even need to explain it to you because you understand.
7. You can read him without words
He walks through the door after work, and instantly, without a word needed, you know what kind of mood he’s in and what he wants. Maybe you sense that he’s had a hard day and needs some alone time. You give him a quick peck on the cheek, tell him you just bought some beer, and head to another room so he can be alone.
At the same time, he can read you, too! That means you can never keep things from this man. He’ll read in your face that you’re hiding something. That’s why soulmate relationships are so strong: they don’t keep secrets (they can’t!). It may take some getting used to having someone know what mood you’re in without saying a word, but you’ll grow to love the feeling.
8. Signs you met your soulmate – all the chemistry boxes are ticked
You’ve had chemistry with men before, but nothing like this. I’m guessing you primarily had physical chemistry, but did you realize two other types are essential for the perfect chemical equation?
Physical chemistry is easy. It happens when you are attracted to someone and find it hard to stay away. It may lead to sex and doesn’t guarantee that it will lead to anything more.
But when you add in intellectual and spiritual chemistry, you’re looking at soulmate material.
Intellectual chemistry happens when the conversation just flows. If you’ve dabbled in online dating, you know that doesn’t always happen. You might swipe right on a man’s profile whom you find physically attractive…but then the conversation, which consists of a lot of “hey, what’s up?” and “how was your day,” just falls flat.
But with your soulmate, you find it easy to talk about any and everything. You find yourself staying up late to talk on the phone or shut down the restaurant because you’ve stayed past closing time.
Spiritual chemistry is a little harder to define.
“It goes beyond opinions and beliefs – although they can be part of it. Spiritual chemistry is when you see life through a similar existential lens; your hearts are at home because you value the same things: kindness, generosity, loyalty, friendship.”—Saba May.
When you find the unique combination of all three of these types of chemistry, you know you’ve found something special.
9. You love him unconditionally
He’s made mistakes. He has flaws. He even gets on your nerves sometimes…
But you still 1,000% love him.
It’s easier to say what unconditional love isn’t than what it is. It’s not love based on parameters like “I’ll love him when he finally gets a job” or “if he’d stop going out with the guys so much, I’d be happier and love him more.”
No matter what he does or how he acts, as long as he’s not disrespectful, you accept that as part of the relationship and your love. And he does the same for you.
10. Early soulmate signs – you feel safe and secure in the relationship
If you’ve been single for a while after a messy divorce or breakup, you may have had to create your own cocoon of safety since you could no longer rely on a relationship for that security. So it may feel strange to you to have a man in your life that envelops you (physically and emotionally) and essentially says, “it’s okay. You can lean on me. You’re safe.”
For most women, this is a relief. If you’ve been running your household or raising kids, you’ve been entirely independent. No, you don’t need a man, but it is nice to have a partner that you can lean on when you need him, and you can return the favor when he needs it.
Now that you’ve found him, you’re surprised that you’re not worried about things ending. You feel secure that this is the relationship you’ve been waiting for, and that is one of the telltale soulmate signs.
11. He is your greatest teacher
Finding your soulmate is fabulous, but don’t expect that life will be all cupcakes and kitties as a result. He’s never going to let you half-ass anything in life. And you will be glad when he pushes you to work harder.
Let’s say you’re complaining about your job a lot. He tells you to find a new one. You realize that he’s pushing you to make a change to be happier, and you’re glad for the motivation.
12. Soulmate signs – he is the yang to your yin
None of us are perfect (that’s a tough lesson to learn). We all have our unique gifts, strengths, quirks, and flaws. One of the signs he’s your soulmate is when you feel like you perfectly complement each other. He’s strong where you’re weak. When he’s down, you lift him up. Maybe he’s a little more extroverted, and you’re a little more introverted. It’s this beautiful yin and yang harmony that creates balance in your world when you’re together.
13. You’re aligned when it comes to the big things
You and your soulmate probably aren’t identical in your interests (that would be so boring!), but you are aligned with essential values.
What kind of values?
- How you see the world
- Possibly politics
- Whether you want children or not
- If you wish to be (re)married or not
These are intangibles that are more important to share than specifics like playing tennis or liking Game of Thrones. These are values that likely won’t change over time. If you’re aligned on them, it’s a great start to your relationship and one of the soulmate signs to watch out for.
14. Signs someone is your soulmate – being with them feels like home
It’s normal to get those jittery butterflies when you’re first dating someone new, but there should also be a sense of comfort and familiarity with your soulmate. When you’re with him, you feel calm, centered, and at peace. Nothing feels forced; everything feels natural. Being with him feels like you’re home.
15. You act as a team
Finding your soulmate is really about finding a teammate—a partner who will share the weight in your relationship.
Sometimes things will be unbalanced. If you’re working overtime and are stressed to the max, he’ll need to pick up the slack around the house and provide you with emotional support. But if his grandmother suddenly dies, you’ll be forced into the role of supporter and nurturer. Over time, however, it balances out. This is what teamwork looks like.
16. Now you get what love is supposed to be
When you were 9, you thought it was real love…
When you were 16, you knew that this boy was the one…
Then you turned 21 and you realized, no, THIS is what love is all about.
But after your divorce or breakup, you started doubting love altogether. Now it feels completely different from any love or infatuation you’ve ever felt. It all makes sense now. And this is one of the signs you’ve met your soulmate.
17. He makes you want to be a better version of you
Allow me to go a little Oprah on you for a minute with these soulmate signs. The right people in our lives make us want to be better; do better. There’s nothing wrong with working to improve ourselves and our lives.
And let me clarify here: you’re not trying to improve because he’s criticizing you or reminding you of your flaws. He just inspires you. Maybe he runs marathons, and you’re a couch potato, but he inspired you to start jogging and try your first 5k (with him by your side).
18. Deep soul connection signs – you have extreme empathy for each other
A more subtle of the soulmate connection signs is when you can feel what your partner is feeling even when you’re not directly going through his experiences.
For example, when he doesn’t get that new job he interviewed for and desperately wanted, he feels gutted, and you feel gutted too. When you experience a death in your close family, you’re grieving, and he feels like he’s suffering too.
This is what extreme empathy looks like, and you’ll only feel it if you’re deeply connected.
19. You can be authentic with him
It can be scary letting your hair down early in a relationship for fear that you’ll be judged. But with a soulmate, you never have to worry about that.
Some people find that they lose their sense of identity in a relationship, which can be detrimental to that relationship. There’s a psychological concept called differentiation that I want you to know about. It refers to finding a balance between connecting with your partner and maintaining your separate sense of self.
When this is out of whack, you may keep quiet about issues that bother you for fear of starting an argument. Or you might put his needs ahead of yours. When you’re in a relationship with your soulmate, this isn’t an issue because, while you’re close, it’s easy for both of you to be independent individuals without becoming absorbed into the “we.”
20. You just know
Don’t you hate it when you used to ask a girlfriend how she knew her man was the one, and she said, with a dreamy, far-off look in her eyes, “I just knew!”
Now you get it, right?
You can’t quantify why you believe this man is your soulmate, but you feel it in your bones. You have to trust your intuition on this one. When you know, you know.
21. You’re both all-in on your relationship
When you were in your 20s, you’d break up with a guy at the first sign of stormy weather. But you’re older and wiser now, and this relationship is worth a few bumps in the road. Neither of you is afraid to work through issues. You know they’re part of a long life together, and you’re willing to put in the effort.
22. You want to make one another happy
Another one of the soulmate signs is happiness. One day, you agree to go to his favorite Mexican restaurant (even though you’re not a fan), and the next, he skips the game to hang out with you. A soulmate relationship is about positive compromise, where you both work to make the other happy. It’s never, ever one-sided.
23. Common soul mate attraction signs – you aren’t jealous
Maybe you found yourself a little jealous in past relationships if your man spent time with other women or even his guy friends. But you’re so confident in this relationship that the green-eyed monster has taken a vacay. You’re not worried that anyone else will come between you.
24. You’re not afraid to speak your mind
Because you know you’re both in it for the long haul, you are relaxed enough to tell him what’s on your mind, even if he is likely to disagree. You trust him and the relationship enough to know that being honest won’t destroy things. In fact, it will make them better.
25. You truly listen to one another
You’ve struggled with active listening in the past, but you find it easy to do with your soulmate. You give him your undivided attention because he gives you his when you’re talking. The result? You both hear and understand one another.
By the way: if you struggle with communication and need help mastering this skill, you might want to work with an expert dating coach.
26. You’ve got each other’s backs
The final point on my soulmate signs list is when neither of you doubts that the other will be there standing by your side no matter how much sh*t hits the fan. You’re both fiercely loyal, would walk to the end of the earth to protect each other, and have got each other’s backs.
When you fail, he’s there to remind you what you’ve learned.
When you fall, he picks you up.
And when you’ve got a problem, he helps you solve it.
It’s easy to say, “I love you,” but this is what being a soulmate is truly about.
Are you looking for signs your soulmate is about to enter your life?
Signs you are about to meet your soulmate:
- You have fully let go of the past (that means all of your exes and emotional baggage)
- You’ve done a lot of inner work and growth recently
- Without a doubt, you love yourself and show yourself love every day (Little Love Step #1, ladies)
- You’ve discovered your purpose in life
- You know what you want (and don’t want) and aren’t willing to settle for less
- Intuition is telling you you’re about to meet someone special
- You trust in divine timing and know that you will find him when you’re meant to
Conclusion: soulmate signs are simple to spot (when you know what to look for)
We all hope to find that one person we love on every level of our being, who challenges us to be our best self, and who we want to build a future with. And I honestly believe that when you find your soulmate, you’ll know in your heart that you have.
Remember, love is not a race. Don’t try to push or force anything. Enjoy dating lots of people, have new experiences, and follow your passions. Because when you live your fullest, boldest, most daring life, you will attract the right people into your life.
Are you struggling right now to figure out if the guy you’re with is your soulmate or not? Tell me all about it in the comments below.