How to Tell if He’s Into You After Just One Date
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So you went on one date and think it went well, but you aren’t sure.
After all, you could have one great date and that guy calls, but you could have another great date with a different guy and…
Crickets.
I know. Guys can seem cryptic. But in fact, we’re really simple creatures if you know how to crack the code.
The First Question to Ask
Before you waste any more energy on the whole “is he into me” after the first date thing, I want you to stop and ask yourself one thing:
Are you into him?
See, a lot of times, we let our own feelings color what we read in others. So if you were totally into him on that first date, you might be a bit biased in what you read.
You get what I’m saying?
On the other hand, if you were only meh about this dude, then why bother wondering if he liked you? Will knowing he does change the meh factor? It shouldn’t. Stick with your gut feelings about this guy.
If you were into him, dissect his behavior to get insight into how he might feel.
If he didn’t check the boxes off of your list, move on. Other fish and all that.
During the Date
More than anything, your gut should tell you that things are going well. You shouldn’t constantly be wondering whether or not he’s into you while you’re digging into your ramen (slurp carefully).
Men that are into you look into your eyes. I’m not saying he should gaze longingly into your baby blues at this point (in fact, ew. That’s a bit creepy so early on), but he should make eye contact throughout the date. He should not be staring off at something (or someone) over your shoulder all night.
Unless he’s uber shy, your date should have made some effort to touch you. Nothing too forward; using that tattoo on your wrist as an excuse to touch your arm is on par with what you’re looking for here.
If, on the other hand, he’s creeping his hand up your thigh early in the date, he likely has his mind on one thing. Don’t try to make this Touchy-Feely Tim your white knight.
Pay attention to body language on your date, because it can speak volumes about what’s going on in that simple mind of his. If he leans toward you, he’s feelin’ it. If he folds his arms and leans back, looking uncomfortable, sorry hon, but he’s thinking of the zillion other places he’d rather be.
Here’s another clue he likes you: if he mirrors your body language, he’s totally into you. Say you cross your legs as you tell him a story about how you won Miss Toad Suck in high school (actual place!). If he crosses his legs right after you do, he — even subconsciously — is telling you he wants to be in sync with you.
Don’t believe me? On your next date, try crossing your legs or scratching your chin. See who mirrors back!
And I know women love it when guys pay attention and ask questions. I have to admit it (I’ve seen this time and again when I speak at colleges): not all guys are great at this. It’s definitely a skill to master, but let me tell you, Sexy Confident Lady: if your guy does this, you have scored in a major way.
Paying attention on a date requires him to listen, and if he’s not into you, he won’t put forth the energy.
On the other hand, if he realizes what a fabulous catch you are, he’s going to sit up and take notes when you talk. Why?
Because remembering details you feed him now will help him worm his way into your heart later.
Just imagine how he will impress you if you told him early in the date that you’re allergic to chocolate, then at the date’s end when the dessert menu rolls around, he says, “Why don’t we share the lemon tart, since you’re allergic to chocolate?”
Okay, maybe this won’t impress you into convulsions, but give the guy a break; he listened and retained. He likes you.
And asking questions? Such a great way to make a woman happy, in my experience. The women I know are naturally inquisitive, and yet they’ve told me that few men match them in the question-asking department. If he asks questions, he’s dying to know more about you. Let him!
Do you make your date laugh? Excellent!
Laughter isn’t a given between two people unless they have chemistry, so if you make him snort wine through his nose, so much the better.
All in all, if the date is filled with engaging conversation and good back-and-forth, you’re getting a thumbs up from this guy.
How Did the Date End?
You can also get some great intel on how he’s feeling based on how the date ended. Did he walk you to your car? It’s the least he could do, but still a good sign. Did he grab your hand? Excellent. Did he hug you (and linger)? Things keep getting better.
And…did he kiss you??
C’mon! You don’t need me to tell you he likes you!
Just note: not every guy will kiss on the first date. He may be unsure of whether you will be receptive to it, and under no circumstances will a man risk rejection if he’s not certain of your reaction. Just sayin’.
Assessing Post-Date Behavior
So he seemed to have passed the “is he into me” first date quiz, but it’s been 8-24 hours since said date and you’re getting a little nervous. Was it all a mirage? Was he actually not into you?
This isn’t going to be true of every guy, but if he texts — or better yet calls — within a day of your date, winner winner, chicken dinner. Like I said, not every guy, even if he’s totally into you, will do this. Some try to play the game and make you wait before reaching out. Games are dumb, but sometimes you gotta play. Just don’t text him. Wait patiently (or pretend to).
If you’d been communicating via an online dating app, but post-date he asks for your number, give it to him if you like him. It means he’s ready to shed the anonymity of first-name-only profiles and get real through texting and calls. Score.
And if he asks you out again, he’s into you.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know if a guy is into you after one date. You just have to pay attention and watch for the signs that he is. And if he isn’t? He’s not worth your time. Cut bait and find the one who is.
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Did this help? Did it help you assess your date to determine if he was into you on that first date?
If I have dated a guy for a year and half was pregnant and loss his child, but would not marry him because I felt he was not ready is an emotional mess right now what should I do if I still really love him
Force yourself to stop loving him. Some men never grow up, sorry to say. Cut your losses and move on. Remember, this is your life (time) you’re spending and wasting on the wrong person.
oww after reading this article, I am realizing that he is into me fully, thanks
Thank you, for this advice it has helped me a lot aha. It’s definitely making me think about me being in this situation. Now I am aware of what to do when going on a second date. Or meeting some other guy in my life.
This was really useful and I’m definitely going to take on board what you told me
FYI, just because I don’t mirror your gestures, e.g., cross my legs when you do, doesn’t mean I don’t like you. You’re being you as a woman, and I’m being me as a guy. Wait, isn’t touching on the first date #metoo? Oh yeah, unless the girl is into the guy, in which case he’s a loser if he doesn’t pursue a kiss. But since you’re waiting for all his first moves, how the hell would he know? Seriously, don’t expect a touch or kiss from a guy until you make the first move anymore. That’s right, with power comes… Read more »
With a other less snark I have to agree. Touching on a first date without consent? Not a good sign.
I would expect someone to ask before kissing me on a first date. Second dates are a little different ballgame since you’ve already established some mutual interest and can be more confident of the cues you’re reading.
I don’t think you can lose by asking though. Either the answer is “Yes!” or it wasn’t going to be well received anyway.
All signs point that he’s into me after our first date but after the date, I didn’t hear from him. On the 3rd day, I sent him a text thanking him for the date and that I had an amazing time. He responded hours later saying that he too had a great time. He was glad that I enjoyed myself and hopes that we’ll get together again soon. I responded stating that I would very much like that! It’s been a couple of days …. crickets! What the hell???
He’s gone. I’m a guy and I’ll tell you this.. the day after the date, I usually wait for the girl to text me, which she usually does by saying something like “thank you for the coffee/dinner, I had fun” or even just something very sly like “I barely got any sleep last night!” BUT.. if she doesn’t text me the next day, by the end of that night, I will send her a text just in case she was waiting for me to text. And of course I will only do this if I’m interested. In your case, him… Read more »
He’s gone. I’m a guy and I’ll tell you this.. the day after the date, I usually wait for the girl to text me, which she usually does by saying something like “thank you for the coffee/dinner, I had fun” or even just something very sly like “I barely got any sleep last night!” BUT.. if she doesn’t text me the next day, by the end of that night, I will send her a text just in case she was waiting for me to text. And of course I will only do this if I’m interested. In your case, him… Read more »
Karianne, after he didn’t call you three days later, it was evident that he wasn’t into you. When guys are into us, and want to see us again, they will be specific to give us a date and time they will call. When they simply say I will call you, they are simply taking the cowards way out to not say their not feeling it. When you called him, it merely looks to him that you are desperate. He just said what you want to hear. Next time, don’t call or text a guy that hasn’t contact you days later.… Read more »
This happened to me! I had An amazing first date, he seemed genuinely interested in me! And he hasn’t contacted me at all for more than 24 hours lol Did I read all that wrong or was I just played?
This article is on point with knowing the guy who’s after one thing and don’t consider seeing a woman as a to pursue long term. I went out on a date with a guy who is an attorney. He is in his 60s and the minute we sat at tge restaurant he took my hand. I thought it was sweet until he started rubbing his hand inside my palm while my hand rest face up a quarter from my knee. It was his manipulative way of rubbing over my fingers to get a feel of my leg. I fixed him… Read more »
So, I went out with this guy 4 days ago, had an amazing time (really followed this stuff to a T) and the next morning I texted him to tell him I really enjoyed myself and everything, told him I’d love to see him again and he agreed. Before the date we texted a LOT, we still text daily but not as much. Is that normal? We also haven’t talked much about a second date.
It is difficult to tell if he’s into you but there are some ways that can help you out understand that. https://www.relationshippunch.com/how-to-tell-if-hes-into-you/
It is difficult to tell if he’s into you but there are many ways that can help you do so. https://www.relationshippunch.com/how-to-tell-if-hes-into-you/
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I extend my deepest thanks to Heardle the author for their valuable contributions to the field and for sharing their expertise through this extensive article, which serves as a valuable reference for both scholars and enthusiasts alike.