How To Get Your Man Back: 13 Expert Tips To Get Him Back Fast

how to get your man back

Something you never thought would happen has happened: you lost a great guy…and now you’re trying to figure out how to get your man back.

Maybe you ended things with him and realize now that you made a big mistake…

Or he ended things and you want him to realize that he made a big mistake…

Whatever caused the breakup, now you want to know how to get your man back. In this article, I’m going to teach you some effective ways to do just that. But they won’t involve games or tricks. I’ve coached thousands of women on finding love, and I’ve seen firsthand that these strategies actually work at getting a guy back.

If You Broke Up With Him…


If you did the breaking up, realize that he will be nursing some serious hurt and that his ego may be bruised. You’ll have to prove yourself trustworthy. How can he be sure you won’t break up with him again?

The key is understanding and being able to explain why you broke up with him. Was something wrong in the relationship that you think could be fixed? Talk to him in a nonconfrontational way about what went wrong and discuss how things could be different.

It’s important to let him know that you want him back…but that you’re both better off with things being approached differently this time.

If He Broke Up With You…

Get to the root of why he did it. Did he express displeasure at some behavior of yours? Were the two of you constantly bickering about the same things over and over?

You need to be willing to make serious changes to win him back. He’ll be skeptical if you immediately tell him you are willing to change but start by showing him that you’re making the effort.

If There’s Another Woman in the Picture…

If he left you for another woman, I want you to seriously question whether you really want this guy back (especially if he cheated). Sure, he may seem more appealing because some other woman has her hooks in him, but let’s look at the facts: he didn’t respect you enough to stay away from temptation while he was in a relationship with you, so why would you beg him back? How can you be sure it won’t happen again?

You can’t.

Top 13 Tips on How to Get Your Man Back

Now that we’ve discussed a few different scenarios that you may be experiencing through your breakup, let’s look at specific strategies you can put into play today to woo back the guy you’re missing.

1. Step Away from the Situation to Evaluate the Relationship

You’re not 20, so I’m willing to bet that your breakup wasn’t just a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing. There was something wrong in the relationship, regardless of who ended things.

I know right now you’re hurting, but I need you to put on your unbiased glasses for a moment and reflect on the relationship. It’s easy to sweep the bad stuff under the rug and focus on the great stuff post-breakup, but you need to be honest about how the relationship went.

What were the flaws?

What did you argue about?

What behavior of his bothered you?

What behavior of yours bothered him?

If you’re serious about getting back together, you need to have a realistic perspective to understand whether it’s even worth salvaging the relationship and whether you’re both willing to put in the hard work to make things right.

2. Give Him Time and Space To Realize How Awesome You Are

Particularly if he broke up with you, he may need some time away from you to realize what he’s lost. So leave him alone. Follow the No Contact Rule. Vanish from his life.

You can’t in any way force this man to see what he’s given up. He has to do it on his own. Just give him time and space, and if it’s meant to be, he’ll start missing you.

3. Implement the No Contact Rule

no contact rule

If you want him back, start by following the No Contact Rule.

I already mentioned the No Contact Rule, but it’s as much for you as for him. Whether you are supposed to get back with this guy or not, having space apart gives you both time to reflect on the relationship and what you want in the future, together or not.

When you’re fresh out of a breakup, all your focus is on how to get your man back. You’re in a reactive state of mind, not a proactive one. You’re in crisis mode and unable to clearly think about things.

In a scientific study published in the journal NeuroImage, researchers found that these two types of thinking, hyper-reactive and proactive, were evident in the brain’s white matter. When subjects thought proactively, their brains showed more white matter. Those that thought reactively were more anxious and had less robust white matter.

“The brain is constantly working to create meaning out of the flood of information that comes at us every waking minute of our day,” Alexander Olsen, who led the study, said, “The reactive system kicks in when something happens that is not expected. Then you need to adapt your behavior and react to the new information. You have to throw away your old plan and come up with a new plan.”

So having time away from this guy can keep you from being overly reactive and give you perspective to help you decide whether you still want to know how to get your man back.

4. Be Willing to Compromise…Within Reason

I want to keep stressing the fact that, if you’re successful in your strategy on how to get your man back, you both will need to make some changes. Things will never go back to how they were.

Whatever was broken, you’ll need to fix, and that likely means compromising on a few things. However, know your limits. You might compromise by agreeing to give him more alone time (that’s what he complained about before) but put your foot down at the prospect of him hanging out with his ex-girlfriend.

5. Don’t Try To Make Him Jealous

Again, you’re not 20, so why take advice geared to younger women (and bad advice, at that)?

Rather than focusing on how he sees you, put energy into how you see yourself. I guarantee you’ll be happier getting out and being social than sitting on the couch bingeing Black Mirror. Find happiness without a man, and if he’s around, believe me, he’ll pay attention to that fact. It’s a bruise to his ego to see you doing so well without him, so that may open the door to a conversation about getting back together when you’re ready.

6. Work On Your Self Confidence

confident woman

Being happy, with a guy or not, starts by finding your inner confidence.

Do you wonder why I talk about confidence so much on this site? It’s because confidence is the secret to being happy and whole, regardless of who you’re dating.

The truth is: I don’t know if this guy is the right one for you. I don’t know whether working on how to get your man back is the right move for you or not. But what I do know is that improving your self-confidence will help you, both in this relationship and future ones, if there are any. Confidence will help every aspect of your life, from love to work, so don’t overlook the importance of it!

7. Pamper Yourself: Look Your Best to Feel Your Best

Again, looking good isn’t to make him jealous. It may work, sure, but my goal here is to make sure you feel your best.

I know you’ve had some bad days where you didn’t want to leave the bed (maybe you didn’t, even). And that’s completely part of the breakup process. But I need you to trust me when I say that you will feel a million times better if you invest in some self care. Put on a dress you feel great in. Get your hair colored. Get a mani pedi. Whatever self care means to you, do it, because it’s essential for healing, whether you reunite with your ex or not.

8. Be Honest About What Went Wrong

If you’re ready to put all the blame on him, hesitate a minute. It takes two to make a relationship right…or wrong, so don’t underplay your role in what happened.

That’s where spending time away from him can pay off because you have space to really reflect on what happened and accept it. That’s essential if there’s a snowman’s chance in Hell of you working things out.

9. Apologize if You Hurt Him


Genuinely saying you’re sorry can go a long way to winning him back.

Once you accept your role in the breakup, it’s important to be humble enough to apologize for what you did. But apologize sincerely. That means not saying, “I’m sorry for hurting you, but you hurt me first!”

If you need him to apologize, and that’s the only reason you’re doing it, don’t bother. That’s not a solid foundation for getting back together.

10. Don’t Play Games

I don’t even need to say anything here. Just don’t play games. It’s simple. You’re an adult, so handle the breakup like one. That’ll increase the odds of you getting back together, by the way.

11. Don’t Use Social Media to Poke At Him

I know women who, after suffering a breakup, post pictures with hot guys on Facebook, hoping to make their exes jealous.

It’s a childish move. It’s a game. See #10.

12. Talk to Him About Your Relationship

couple talking

Open the door to better communication this time around.

If you are going to succeed at getting your man back, you’ve got to open up communication, especially if the two of you had trouble talking about your relationship in the past.

Talk about what went wrong. Encourage him to tell you in the moment if something’s not right so that it won’t escalate into a breakup. When you talk about problems in the present, you can find ways to solve them, but if you let them build up, they end up being bigger than they were initially.

13. Know When To Move On

I sincerely hope that your efforts at getting your man back work and that things pan out. But know that it’s not always right to get back with an ex. You have to trust your gut to understand whether it’s worth pursuing or not.

If you’ve tried to win him back and it’s just not working, realize that this is the sign that it’s time for you to let this guy go and move on. He’s not the one for you. Save your love and energy for the right man who will be the right fit for you.


Learning how to get your man back will take effort. It will be hard. You may want to give up because it means facing your own flaws.

But if you believe this man is worth it, then keep on keepin’ on. Hopefully, you’ll find that your relationship is even stronger the second time around.

Did you know I have an entire program designed to help you Heal Your Heart and Win Him Back? In it, I help you first get healed and whole, learn to break destructive habits, and then make him realize that you’re the one after all. Get in on it today!


Also, if you’d like to join me on a brand new webinar to learn “why men flake, avoid commitment and consistently ghost until they meet a woman who’s following these 7 simple steps”, then register here (it’s 100% free).


Adam LoDolce

Love Strategist

My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story

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Lee Szczepura
1 year ago

Well, I want him back, back he moved to Puerto Rico. He had planned on coming back but just sent me a text that he decided to stay there and I should move on. The hour before that he told me how much he loved me and told me all about his brother’s wife being ill. I don’t get it. Then , about 4days later sends me a Thank You card (I had sent him a card online prior to the day we supposedly ended things) telling me to keep in touch. Talk about confusing! What is your take on… Read more »

1 year ago

In my case, The reason why we broke up is that, We are in a Long Distance Relationship for eleven(11mos). I thought were okay, but when I asked him to stay in one house he refused and I know that time he still not ready to settle. And he opened that to me he wants to stay in USA with his parents. So we both decided to end our relationship instead. So that if time will come he will move to USA its easy for him to go. That no one will left here in the Philippines, and I know… Read more »

1 year ago

I have already done most of the things mentioned here. I left my guy after a 15 year relationship. At first I left because I rent the upstairs of his farmhouse. I paid my rent and raised 6 children there. He lived in a studio apartment he had downstairs. Anyway, there were 2 other small one bedroom apartments downstairs. I finally couldn’t take it anymore because he always rented them out to people that didn’t care about anyone else who lived there. They were rude, stole anything that wasn’t nailed down, destroyed other tenants property, etc. I just got tired… Read more »

1 year ago

Am in pains. He’s not cool with me being a lesbian. I usually cheat on him with ladies..
I want my Man back

1 year ago
Reply to  Hope

You can’t have two things at the same time…
You have to let your lesbins go or let your man go. The choice is yours!

1 year ago

I have really really tried as much as I can but it didn’t work out for me and in which other way can I do it again am confused

9 months ago

I’ve been with this guy for 3 years and suddenly he told me his not happy with me. I’ve always been faithful to him. I acted like a wife in a home. He is my first. He told he loved me 3 weeks before. Now he wanted to break up with me. I had a miscarriage last year due to the stress of my family, school. I told him to give me another chance to make him happy. He said he will but he can’t promise anything. I caught him talking to another female on the phone several times. He… Read more »

8 months ago
Reply to  Halo

I’m going through the same thing I am so hurt

Ehiaghe sonia
9 months ago

He actually started giving me attitudes and I wasn’t being sure anymore….he now seems to like another girl and he’s showing hot and cold attitudes

1 month ago
Reply to  Ehiaghe sonia

I’m going through the same situation

8 months ago

He actually started giving me attitudes this days, he doesnt talk to me, he doesnt even have my time, giving me excuses, being rude to me and the most annoying thing now is that my sister is interested and have seduced him, he seems comfortable with my sister than me.

8 months ago

I’ve been dating someone for 7 months but I like to party and he does not. I have gone out multiple time and he didn’t like that much because he says I party to much. Now he is ignoring my calls and text what can I do to make it work again like it use to be.

8 months ago

Sunt o femeie cu doi copii, soțul meu și cu mine suntem căsătoriți, de 8 ani acum, și trăim în armonie și în dragoste în toți acești ani. Niciodată nu am crezut că ceva poate interveni între căsătoria noastră sau dragostea noastră, dar sunt doar om, cine sunt eu să judec. Am avut încredere în soțul meu, dar el a trădat asta, când a început să comită infidelitate. A început să țină nopțile târzii, să-și ascundă telefonul de mine și să sară de multe ori să sune cina. în câteva luni, el dormea ​​afară și înainte de a-l ști, a… Read more »

Amanda Rodriguez
7 months ago

He came back but now he’s distant. What should I do?

Mary hubbartt
4 months ago

We been separated for a year and two months now it’s me my overthinking and jeolusy for I did I talk to my ex and hid it for along time…. And I cheated on him with a female hid it from him but I can’t let go thinking he will get revenge on me always think the bad with him …. He good man never cheated on me always good to me… He said he doesn’t want a committee relationship anymore with me we are married and have four kids help I want him back

1 month ago

Before I said him to stay away from me becuse of my family issues they were not ready to accept he said we will fight for it I realised I was stopping his life from living n didn’t wanted to stop his life on struggling where he have enjoy so but after time even I was not able to cope up with that n decided to fight for him n there are few reasons now which is a point that We can’t be separated in future but now he says he want to be my friend becuse he don’t want… Read more »

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