No Contact Rule: 9 HUGE Benefits of Going Silent After a Breakup

no contact rule

You hear about this no contact rule thing…your friends say is a great idea for you right now since the guy you were dating just ended things…but you’re not sure.

You’d rather…

Pick up that phone and text him that you miss him…

Go on Facebook to see what he’s doing and who he’s hanging out with …

“Accidentally” bump into him at his favorite bar as if, “wow I didn’t expect to see you here!”

But I’m here to tell you: these are all really bad ideas.

Look Sexy Confident lady, there’s a reason why people are talking about the no contact rule. It works. The more time you have away from the guy that broke your heart, the more you can get your head straight and figure out what you really want. Maybe you want to get back together. Maybe you don’t. But you won’t know until you’ve had some time away.

Your Coach,

What is the No Contact Rule?

Okay, let me break it down for you: with the no contact rule, you go 21 days without interacting with that guy that broke your heart.

No calls.

No texts.

No face-to-face.

No Instagram likes.

Does it work? Look, I’ve coached hundreds of women — and men — and when we’re dealing with a breakup, I have never seen anything good come of staying in touch with an ex right after the split.

Either it makes the woman want him more…even if they’re not a good fit…

Or the man has no incentive to miss her and woo her back.

However, I’ve seen amazing results with women who could commit to that 3 weeks following the no contact rule. These women had time to clear their heads and really consider what they wanted.

Some realized that they were mooning over the wrong man. Once they realized that and let him go, they found the real love they’d been looking for.

Others had time and space to realize that this man was worth fighting for. The men also had a chance to realize what a good thing they’d given up. Those folks got back together and have even stronger relationships than they did before.

Either way, you’re better off for having some mental and emotional distance from this man. Let’s look at a few other benefits of following the no contact rule.

1. You Win Your Power Back

powerful woman

Following the no contact rule puts the power back in your hands.

When a guy dumps you, you lose your power in the relationship. After all, he made the decision to end things. You had no say in the matter.

If you keep in contact, you might be obsessing over him and your relationship, which also takes power away from you.

But if he starts sniffing around, wanting you back, now’s your chance to get that control of the situation.

I’m not encouraging a power play between you and your ex, but I am saying that you need to regain control of your mind and heart, and then set the tempo for things if you do reconcile.

Following the no contact rule allows you to busy your mind with other things so that you’re not focused on him and what he’s doing. You’re not wondering if he wants you back.

If he’s trying to get back together, taking those three weeks shouldn’t change that fact. Honestly, it should make him want you more because he had to wait. You’re essentially communicating: “I’m open to talking about things, but I need some space to work through my feelings. Be patient with me.”

Suddenly, you’ve got the power.

2. You Allow Yourself Time to Heal

Consider your relationship like a drug. If you want to break your addiction, you detox. You go cold turkey. Eventually, those drugs work themselves out of your system and you can function normally again.

This man is your drug. You’re used to having him in your life and in your heart, so right after a breakup, it’s understandable that you can’t imagine moving forward without him. But that might be the best move for you.

Your first and foremost goal right now should be to heal that heartbreak. You can’t do that if you’re still talking to him or scrolling through his Facebook feed.

Even if you do ultimately get back together, you still need to heal. Because the way this relationship was working…wasn’t working. Things need to change. You need to rip out the walls and rebuild on your foundation.

You might need to reflect on how you were in the relationship and make some changes moving forward. He might, too.

Having time away gives you the opportunity to see things clearly. You might realize that you were selfish, and then you can work on learning to be a better partner.

You might realize this relationship was destined to go nowhere, and you can learn to be whole on your own so that you are open to finding real and sustainable love.

Don’t rush it. Take this time for you. Journal. Talk to friends. Cry. It’s all part of the healing process.

3. You Let New Energy In

positive energy

Create positive energy simply by taking your focus off your relationship.

There’s a lot of negative energy surrounding a breakup. You’re sapped. Unable to eat. Your immune system weakens. You can’t sleep.

The longer you put your attention on this man, the breakup, and what went wrong, the more that negative energy seeps in. You’re far from your normal Sexy Confident self.

Adhering to the no contact rule, on the other hand, dispels that negative energy and gives you a chance to feel whole again.

When you’re not constantly waiting for the sound of his text, you can put your attention on other things. You can get back to activities you enjoyed before your relationship (your tennis game is looking pretty rusty; why not start there?) and spend time with friends you maybe have been neglecting a bit.

4. You Kill The Fantasy of a The Perfect Relationship

Look, I’ve gotta be honest. I think the whole fairytale genre and romcom industry has done women a disservice. They paint a false picture of what love and relationships should be like, and make it too easy for women to build fantasies around their actual relationships.

When those fantasies fracture, you’re left in pain.

The reality is that this guy isn’t perfect. He may, in fact, not be the guy for you. I know you don’t want to hear that right now (I deliver hard truths), but it’s better to kill that fantasy and get to what’s below it so that you can come face to face with reality.

It probably won’t look the way you want it to, but at least you’re not seeing love through rose-colored glasses anymore.

5. You Stop Reliving Your Mistakes Over and Over Again

via GIPHY

“If I hadn’t yelled at him that one time, we’d still be together…”

“I slept with him too soon…”

“I shouldn’t have ordered that hamburger in front of him. He’s vegan for chrissakes!”

I know that you’re probably spinning your wheels, recounting every mistake you made in this relationship. You’re beating yourself up about it, sure that you’re the reason things ended badly.

Look, I’m not saying you were 100% innocent in the demise of your relationship, but replaying your reel of mistakes isn’t doing you any good.

Following the no contact rule helps you step out of that self-critical hamster wheel to see the bigger picture. Whether you made mistakes or not, the plain and simple truth just might be that you weren’t meant to be.

I know it sounds like BS, but think about it: if you’re meant to be with one amazing person for the bulk of your life, it’s going to be a bit of a challenge to find him. I know you wanted this guy to be the one…but he might not have been.

So cut yourself some slack.

6. You Give Yourself Time to Grieve

In my Winning Him Back program, I talk about the five stages of grief after a breakup.

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

At first, probably where you are right now, you’re in denial. Things aren’t really over. He just needs to realize how amazing you are. Am I right?

Or maybe you’re already angry. You have a lot you want to say to him (and none of it polite).

Maybe you’re ready to fix things, to bargain to make the pain go away.

You might be in a deep funk, unable to leave your couch.

You’re probably not yet to acceptance, so we’ll leave that aside for now until after you adhere to the no contact rule. But in each of these stages, following the no contact rule can only benefit you. You need to take time to grieve and to work through the subsequent stages of the process.

You will let go of your anger. You will realize that bargaining isn’t necessary. You will start to see the sun again. And yes, eventually, you will accept the breakup. I can’t tell you how long it will take you to work through all of this. It’s different for everyone. But I can tell you that you absolutely will have to work through the grieving process. There’s no getting around it.

Whether you get back together or not, you have to first grieve what is no more.

7. It Stops You From Looking Desperate

woman texting

Resist the urge to contact him for 3 weeks.

When you contact your ex a lot after a breakup, do you realize how that makes you look?

Desperate.

I know you think you’ve got to tell him how you feel right now, but please believe me: you’re not in the right frame of mind to do so. And he’s probably not in the right space to hear it.

Have a little dignity. Respect yourself. Do whatever it takes to not contact him for those three weeks so that you don’t reek of desperation.

Many years ago, I dated someone for about two months. I ended things …and she texted me every night for a week after the breakup.

If there ever were a chance that I wanted to get back with her, every text she sent was just another reason not to even consider it. She came off as, frankly, needy and pathetic, and any attraction I’d previously felt for her was gone.

8.  You Remember: Life is Good, Even Without Your Ex

Being in a relationship feels good, doesn’t it? Scientific studies show that couples in a relationship are happier and less stressed.

So as soon as you find yourself out of a relationship, it’s natural to assume that life sucks.

Only…you weren’t always in a relationship. You had interests and a social circle before you started dating him. You went out. You did things.

Yes, it will take a while to get back into the groove of your old hobbies and habits, but following that no contact rule can expedite the process and remind you that you don’t need a man in your life.

9. You Can Find Yourself Again…and Your Identity

find yourself

You can’t find yourself unless you give yourself space.

Many women sorta…lose themselves in a relationship. They spend so much time with a man that they start to forget their own identity.

If that describes you, you’re far from alone, but it’s time to use a map to find yourself again.

If you remove your ex from the equation…

What do you enjoy doing?

Who do you like spending time with?

What personality quirks can shine through?

It’s only natural that we change a little when we have a partner. We might subdue one aspect of our personality (like dancing around the house naked) in an effort to align more with what we think that person wants.

The truth is: the right man will want you to be authentic. He won’t want the watered-down version of you. He’ll want you on full-blast.

So if you haven’t been turning up the volume of Radio You, look at this no contact period as the perfect opportunity to do just that.

Conclusion:

I don’t want you to think of this no contact rule as a game to win him back. The purpose of taking this time away from your ex is totally and completely for you.

You are absolutely worth the time and energy it will take during those three weeks to figure out what you really want.

It may be this guy.

It may not be this guy.

But either way, you need to assess and own your feelings about the relationship as well as about yourself in general to determine what comes next for you.

You might need more than three weeks, and that’s fine. Take as long as you need. Because it’s your heart, and only you can determine what it wants.

Talk to me. Have you ever followed the no contact rule? How did it go? What results did you get?

My 3-step system, Winning Him Back, will help you shut down feelings of panic (the no contact rule is in there) so you can rebuild your personal identity and make yourself a better partner this time around. Get started here.

Also, if you’d like to join me on a brand new webinar to learn “why men flake, avoid commitment and consistently ghost until they meet a woman who’s following these 7 simple steps”, then register here (it’s 100% free).

adam-lodolce-blog-avatar

Adam LoDolce

Love Strategist

My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story

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Olivia
2 years ago

Thank you soooo much…you have no idea how much this article helped me. God bless u for helping us thru our heartache.

Aneesa
1 year ago
Reply to  Olivia

I am on day 53 no contact. I ghosted him because I could see the narc/psychopath/sociopath traits. This is my second narc that I can absolutely see that I needed to dip on before things escalated. He did the love-bombing, idealization, devaluation and was coming around the corner with the discard. I sensed it and I even gave him a chance to dip if he just wanted to be a hoe in the streets. I told him that I would let him go and I will move around, but of course, they are greedy. He began to act like the… Read more »

Pia
1 year ago
Reply to  Aneesa

I relate to this story so well. The behaviors of my ex are identical. I’m on day 1 of no contact . You wrote your experience beautiful and have taken some strength from your words.
Continued strength and thanks for sharing. It feels good not to feel alone in the situation. I was beating myself up for weeks thinking why did stay when I saw the red flags. I consider myself educated,I dependent and street smart but never saw it coming.
I don’t understand how people can be so cruel.

Odalette
1 year ago
Reply to  Aneesa

Good for you for standing your ground. I’m on day 22 of no contact (outside of work) with my narcissist ex. The narcissist’s cycle – wish I’d known earlier! I kept trying to talk with him like a rational human being and that got me nowhere. Then I started blatantly calling him out on lies and obvious manipulations, which only made things worse. The more subtle manipulations are what took me down though, he was a master at finding weaknesses and exploiting them. I ended up being the one acting irrational, reactive, and seemingly “crazy”. I know I felt like… Read more »

Rachel Barraco
2 years ago

Agreed

2 years ago

Adam, this is great advice.

YOLANDA
2 years ago

Awesome, just what I need to hear .

Lynnie
2 years ago

This works. It’s tough but stick with it, There’s truth in the saying what you don’t know doesn’t worry you. If you’re not in contact there’s no self torment

Lori
2 years ago

He drew the line in the sand with our relationship and I do not know why. He said I was wrong but in truth he never gave me the info I needed or probably really believe I was carrying. I just took the pictures of our dead son to him yesterday no response but he can’t because there’s a new number Is he my problem from my past that will be resolved in a few weeks

Stacey
10 months ago
Reply to  Lori

We had a conversation two weeks before the new year. No argument. A disagreement. We ended the conversation and that’s the last I heard from him. I tried calling immediately after ending the conversation but he denied the call. I waited a week and tried again. Same thing. It’s now been two weeks since we spoke. I feel like a rug has been pulled from under my feet. I have not tried calling anymore.

Jenn Jenn
1 year ago

No contact works every time, for me any way. My boyfriend of four months told me he wasn’t sure about his feeling for me and that he needed time. He wanted to explore his options. I was devastated. I begged and cried and told him I could never give my heart to another man. Even worse, he went on a dating website. I ghosted him, out of shock, when I found out he was online. We had agreed to keep a friendship as we think we shall benefit from each other’s knowledge and skills. I started NC but I was… Read more »

F
1 year ago
Reply to  Jenn Jenn

Jenn, i currently facing the same situation as yours. Which now,i am not sure of what i should do. He ended things between us, and i remain silent myself. Ghosted out. I dont know what i should say anymore. It hurts like hell.

Betty
1 year ago

Day 1: Brutal. We broke up yesterday, Christmas Day. Root for me because I feel like crap. I really want to get to day 21. 20 more days to go

Ellie
1 year ago
Reply to  Betty

How’s it going? Today is my Day 1. Shit!

Syd
1 year ago
Reply to  Ellie

Day 3 for me

C
1 year ago
Reply to  Syd

I’m on day 2!!!!!

F
1 year ago
Reply to  C

It just happened to me! Day 1!

BritQuit
1 year ago
Reply to  C

Im on day 6. His Calls and texts and his stench of desperation increasing by the day. But im Staying strong- he was my weed guy too- so its hard to let go of free bud, especially cuz im almost out too. Ill update you all soon.

C
1 year ago

I’m on 2 months no contact and I have moved on. It was hard but now I’m back to me and enjoying life..journaling does help ..good luck!!

Jodie
1 year ago

It’s day 9 for me. I went through the sadness and being down last week. This week I feel ok, but I’m seeing why it all didn’t work and how much I truly settled. He was taking me for granted by the end, being so mean and cold sometimes with me. I was being needy, and always available. I am a catch in every aspect a man wants in a woman and I’m loyal and the realest. I really do treat the man I love like my king. I need to be treated like a queen too. I love this… Read more »

Nad
1 year ago
Reply to  Jodie

Has he contacted you yet? Im on day 2 on NC really resisting the urge to text.

1 year ago
Reply to  Nad

He ended things on April 25th. Told me dont try to contact him cause he’s blocking me. It hurt like a mother******!!! Yesterday I sent a brief good bye email, no begging or blaming just a good bye. Not sure if he block me from that…..but I said my piece. I guess since I email him yesterday I have to start over with NC rule. Day 1 again for me still crying my eyes out. Havent showered change clothes or comb my hair. I know, its disgusting.

Carpen
1 year ago
Reply to  Decarolis

What ended up happening with this?

Jrose
1 year ago

Well I was cheated on , when I confronted her she denied it. When I gave her the hotel number she was in, with the guy she was with she asked where did I get that information. She was busted. Unfortunately this happened new year’s eve while I was at work. To make a long story short. I loved her and was willing to forgive and move on. However she started to treat me so horribly as if I was the one who cheated. My feelings were beyond hurt, I cried so hard , because I never thought someone could… Read more »

Noah
1 year ago
Reply to  Jrose

Move on from this person. Toxic. I promise you it’ll get better.

Colleen
1 year ago

WOW this helps me alot. I blocked him on Whatsapp. Should I wait until 21 days then I unblock to see if he comes back or not? Please advise me.

Jessica
1 year ago

I met a guy while on vacation and right away he wanted to be my boyfriend and said he loved me. Mind you we leave in different parts of the world. Me in USA Him in Europe. I decided to surprise him and fly to Europe for a weekend. Everything was fine but the following week he was too stressed with work and in the weekend with his friends and had no time for me. I did go nuts on him and started texting and called g and he will just not respond. After a week and a half of… Read more »

Lisa
1 year ago
Reply to  Jessica

Did he every get back to you?

F
1 year ago

Day 1. Just happened. It hurts like hell when i did nothing wrong. He doesn’t have the right feeling anymore.

ranj
1 year ago

Day 2. Feels like forever. The worst we work together though different floors. Unsure how the encounter is going to be. But after being treated like a door mat for so many times. I really want to see him begging to me and if he doesnt its his loss

Samantha
1 year ago

What if you have already made your self look desperate? I pleaded and begged him not to do break up. If I give us 21 days the call out of the blue would it work or did I ruin everything?

Isa
5 months ago
Reply to  Samantha

Good question. I did the same. We had been apart for a month, we live in different cities and we he broke up via text, but we were still talking every day and I was desperate and not hiding it for a second. I begged and pleaded him not to end things and give us a shot, also to think about HIS part of the guilt, as I was fully aware of my own wrong doings. Last time we texted was a week ago and I was so annoyed by the whole situation – kind of a limbo, saying he… Read more »

Jordan Marine
1 year ago

Day 3 and I’m a roller coaster of emotions. This article really helped me. I keep telling myself I don’t want to look desperate and stupid. I really hope it works because I am so sad. I fell alone and I’m spiraling. I will start journaling today.

Sully
1 year ago

Just like other love coaches have mentioned, the no contact rule should be merely to reach healing and self love. Time heals and the NC is like a detox for the heart and mind. I know is hard but is manageable (especially if you have faith). To be honest I rather be the dumpee because the dumper will find himself recreating his decision. Especially if you stay nice, calm and collected. I dated this guys for 6+ months. Always saying that he saw a future with me and so on. According to his family members I was the 1st GF… Read more »

Andrea Reyes
1 year ago
Reply to  Sully

How are you doing now? Did he try to contact you already? I’m on day 5 of no contact. My boyfriend left the house on Tuesday morning after we had a fight. He actually always leaves the house to go home to his house every time we would fight. I really can’t say who’s fault it is. That morning it was stressful for us because I told him that I had to wake up at 6 to wake my son up to get ready for the airport. My son is here on vacation and I’m seldom with my children after… Read more »

Carly
10 months ago
Reply to  Andrea Reyes

I’d be annoyed by the dogs, too. You couldn’t make me stay in a home where there are 5 dogs that’ll bark loudly when you enter a room.

Sad Girl Wonder
1 year ago

It’s my 8th day of NC today. I don’t ever remember being this sad. My ex was my everything. He found me with no support system and became my best friend, my family and boyfriend.. in one. I feel so alone.

I keep asking myself if I’ll ever find someone who’ll love me like this again. I didn’t even realise how emotionally dependent I’d become since I met him.

Please pray for me, I feel so sad. And so so alone.

1 year ago

Sad girl wonder,
Are you ok? Im starting over, its day 1 again for me. I know how you feel, I know the pain.

Anonymous
1 year ago

I am on day 6 or 8 (I cannot remember) of no contact with my ex and I do not feel as emotional about it. I love him but I did not sleep with him and he started to take the relationship for granted so I called him out on it and said that I want to date other men. If your partner is misbehaving let him/her know that he/she is losing you before it gets to a breakup. I agree with what someone said, keep the faith and focus on taking care of you. If it is before a… Read more »

anonymous
1 year ago

Day 5 and its killing me..Need some kind words n support

anonymous
1 year ago
Reply to  anonymous

Another day passed, but still hurts like hell

Heidi
1 year ago
Reply to  anonymous

Thinking about you! How are you doing?

Kim
1 year ago

Day 2 of NC. He chose the end of our 13 year marriage. I can already see how desperate I appeared, and if for no other reason, I am trying to regain my self respect. Does it hurt like hell..absolutely. Hugs to all going through this horrific challenge

Anonymous
1 year ago

My ex cheated on me, I found out on 30April and I broke up with him. The next day he called and said he’ll leave the other woman, that we will start overb again but after 2 hours blocked me on socmed, mobile and ghosted me. He called me 8 days later to say he miss me so much, that his love for me did not change and still wants to marry me when he fix his problem and been quiet after that. Can anyone answer me if I should I restart my NC from our last call day cos… Read more »

1 year ago

Time heals all wounds I got dumped March 30 today is June 9 its been 3 months with no contact….I’m finally feeling like myself and getting fine in the process… Im focused on my health, my kids, and goals. Keep yourself busy to the point where you aren’t even thinking about them! Work out, mediate, pray, set goals to achieve. Yes it hurts…. your not responsible for them hurting you, but you are RESPONSIBLE FOR HEALING….. START HEALING TODAY!!!

Broken hearted
11 months ago
Reply to  Meka

Amen I’m on my 8 th day of NC rules. My boyfriend of 7 months dump me 8 days ago. We had an heated argument over a Christmas gifts that he told me he was going to buy me . However, he must have priced the gift and had a change of heart ❤️. So, I believe he dumped me because he didn’t want to buy me a gift for Christmas . I’ am so heart broken because I really thought we had something special together. I saw all the red flags , bad signs in my dreams and got… Read more »

Claudia
1 year ago

Hi I’ve been in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years and he broke up with me 15 days ago, when he told me it was officially over he wished me the best (with a heart) I texted him for about a week to take me back and that I was sorry. To keep it short I acted very needy and desperate that week, he did send me other heart in that week. But eventually he asked me to stop messaging him and or I could please leave him alone, he didn’t want to talk anymore he said. Now… Read more »

Claudia
1 year ago
Reply to  Claudia

edit:
He send me another heart in that week.

btw, I have been working really hard on myself the past 9 days to stop complaining and being less or not jealous, so far its going really well and I’m applying new things into my routine to keep it this way.

Erialc
1 year ago

He broke up with me because he got tired of our relationship. We could have been 5 years this coming Oct. The reason he broke up me with me is that I got no time for him for the past two years we’ve been together because of work. I rarely text and call him so now if I’m doing the NC rule, will that help me to win him back? For me its like I am doing the same old manner when we were together. Please help me. He is not replying to my chat and texts. I dont even… Read more »

Dannie
1 year ago

Day 1
Im glad i found this site. Feels like i have a friend. I am not alone. Let’s get through this

1 year ago

He says he still loves me and wants to keep talking. I haven’t been given a reason for him leaving me. I am terrified that if we stop talking he will move on and afraid that I will push him away if I keep contact. What do I do. I can’t lose him 🙁 feeling very sad and lost.

Patrick
1 year ago

Yes I have been in a long distance love affair (affair?) with a Russian-German woman. I am 49 and being Dutch I am outspoken…that caused the break up cause after some wonderful occasions of being together (fan-tas-tic!) she started lying (Phone not working) and sending very dull empty messages without depth. That was like 2 weeks before break-up, as if our thing had already entered into a routine phase. In LDR communication and maintaining contact is so important, when I stepped out of her door things changed. She presented me to her mother, three times, everybody in her village could… Read more »

BrokenNhealing
1 year ago

Day 2 for me. After all the smack talk cvia text, I met up with him and told him to look me in the eyes and tell me you’re unsure of me. He did exactly that. There was nothing further to discuss. I gave him a last hug. I deserve to be a 100%, not a maybe. He has called 5 times and emailed 4 times since. Trying to stay strong.

A
10 months ago
Reply to  BrokenNhealing

How about “communicating” with him and discussing why he is unsure of you? Looks to me you’re letting your Ego stand in the way. Maybe if you communicated with him like he clearly wanted to with you, you might start getting somewhere instead of shutting him down and moving onto the next person and doing the same again and again and again.

1 year ago

My baby daddy and i we were on an off since we had our first child. While i was pregnant he showed no support (physical and emotional support) towards me and my condition at that time but he would send money for me to buy the things i was craving for and things for my son when i give birth. He would cheat with multiples of women then come back to me asking for me to take him back, that all he did was because of the stress of having a baby at such a young age and he is… Read more »

Denise
1 year ago

I am on day 7 of NC, and I alternate between feeling like I can begin to move on, and remembering all of the plans he used to talk about for our future together. I am mourning the loss of our emotional connection. After 8 months together, we went on a beautiful vacation together and had a wonderful time. One week after we got back from our vacation, he ghosted me. The last thing he said to me was that he loved me. Then all of a sudden he was gone. I don’t understand what I did wrong, or why… Read more »

Karen
11 months ago
Reply to  Denise

Hello Denise .. I’m 8 days on the NC. I believe he dump me 8 days ago after having a heated argument. I feel like I lost my best friends. We made plans to spend the rest of our lives together. We only been dating for 7 months. However, he came into my life when I was experiencing some life hardships . He was very supportive . This why I’m so stock that he has disappeared on me . He used to call me 2 to 4 days a day . Maybe he back with an ex’s from his past… Read more »

Jackiee
1 year ago

Hi, I’m feeling really lonely n sad , I’m on Day 5 with NC, reading these reviews made me feel not so alone. I’m gay and broke up with my girlfriend because I wasn’t getting the emotional and physical support back . I was always helping her and making sure she was happy , but no one was there for me in return. Due to that I became a really ugly person I’d be so mean to her and say rude stuff n I realize now it’s because I wasn’t happy. The initial breakup was me finding something she posted… Read more »

florence
1 year ago

my best friends has betrayed my trust, she told my husband lies and blackmailed me to my husband, I got devastated and couldn’t imagine my very own friend wanted to break my family apart out of jealousy.
I couldn’t let my husband go just like that, I went looking for help and I found a psychic who did everything and brought my husband back with a single spell. He told me and showed me everything my friend sent to him, she event went photo shopping to take my husband from me.

Aneesa
1 year ago

10/2/2019 11:44 am I am on day 53 no contact. I ghosted him because I could see the narc/psychopath/sociopath traits. This is my second narc that I can absolutely see that I needed to dip on before things escalated. He did the love-bombing, idealization, devaluation and was coming around the corner with the discard. I sensed it and I even gave him a chance to dip if he just wanted to be a hoe in the streets. I told him that I would let him go and I will move around, but of course, they are greedy. He began to… Read more »

JC
1 year ago

I am on Day 6 of NC. We were in a relationship for 5 years. In the beginning, things were great, and he treated me like a queen. Very kind and supportive.Over time, however, he became more and more distant. I would only see him once a week, and very rarely did he text me. He had stopped getting me birthday or Christmas gifts, because “that wasn’t his thing”. When he is away traveling, I only hear from him once every few days. He doesn’t like to connect at all. Recently, I broke my foot. I asked him if he… Read more »

Alicia
1 year ago

Day 23 no contact and have no idea if there is an end number in sight for me. Ex seems to be doing well according to mutual friends so I am going to let him enjoy his time and if he wants to reach out, that is up to him. The breakup was emotional but we were kind to one another and right now I know I need more time to heal. I became anxiously attached in the relationship and he was very independent and needed a lot of time alone but started to sacrifice these things for me which… Read more »

Isa
5 months ago
Reply to  Alicia

And how did that end up? It’s been seven months.

Confused Girl
1 year ago

Three days ago I went to his place unannounced since he’s been acting strange and distant, so I wanted to talk face to face. He was very pissed to see me and told me to pack everything that belongs to me, even the picture frame with our picture that I had given to him. He allowed me to sleep over since it was late, but made sure I left first thing in the morning.I cried the whole night and he didn’t seem to care,cried again in the morning and he still didn’t show any signs of changing his mind. He… Read more »

Trying
4 months ago
Reply to  Confused Girl

my (ex)boyfriend did the same thing, and I reacted the same way. Three days into the break/space, he slept with another woman. Then at the end of the break, he told me that he was unsure if I was the one for him and he wanted to follow through with breaking up. From my experience, a break is usually the pathway to a breakup.

Confused Girl
1 year ago

My NC lasted three day only, he called me and said he’s checking up on me, and we text everyday. He’s been telling me that he really misses me, that during this break he’s only realising how much he loves me, he’s been saying a lot of wonderful things. Though we’re still taking some time apart but we’re doing great. We’re ending the break end of November, so December we’ll be together. I’m so happy and all the advice I read here was worth it in the end.

Diane
11 months ago

I wasn’t in a relationship with a guy but we were seeing each other, does this still apply? We met up when ever we can, messaged and call each other. His ex found out and was giving him some abuse about it. He stayed the night at mine and we said good bye the next day. Then two days later we had a brief text off each other then after that nothing from him so instead of messaging I didn’t message either. I thought if he likes me he would message me but I’m hoping that maybe after awhile he’ll… Read more »

Bella
10 months ago

It’s been 11 days NC. I’ve been knowing my guy for 13 years and he’s been pursuing me since I met him. I finally decided to give him a chance 6 months ago after much effort on his part. In the beginning I barely answered his calls or anything. He practically begged me to date him promised me a beautiful life and everything. After going on a hot get away there became friction between us. We can’t seem to agree on anything. Our last conversation was him telling me I don’t have to come visit, so I cancelled my flight… Read more »

Gee
9 months ago
Reply to  Bella

Day 10 of no contact and I think I’m going off him! Wish I’d started it sooner! I’m feeling less angry and more rational! When I started it I was so hurt and had spent 6 months of him blowing hot and cold! He dumped me by text after 4 years ….. that’s when I should have started it. Instead i got angry and spent 6 months in couples therapy or arguing with him! This is much better 🙂 feel like I’m getting control back again! I can’t wait to be ambivalent towards him! He really doesn’t deserve any feelings… Read more »

Dkskdb
7 months ago

My husband left me for another lady but [email protected] cast a love spell that brought back my husband back to me … thank you sir

Dkskdb
7 months ago

Stop the stress and contact [email protected] he is a love spell caster and can cast a love spell to return your lover back to you

Jane
6 months ago

My ex and I broke up in the beginning of March and went 2.5 weeks of no contcat. He reached out during the quarentine to ensure I was okay, then we started talking again during April, but the convo. always went back to our same issue- he doesn’t want any more kids and I am not sure if I do (he has 2 with his ex wife). We said to give it 3-4 weeks no contact to see where my head is at. It is SO hard to do. Anyone offer advice?? I am desperate!

Lilly
5 months ago

I’m on day 1… wish me luck. Struggling because he ended it with me after our first every argument. I know I reacted a bit over the top, and I didn’t try to see it from his perspective. I’m blaming myself for it. But at the same time, I also know that he didn’t try to fight for us, so I know it’s over. It just hurts that I wasn’t good enough for him to try. After the argument, he told me he was on the fence about me anyway and that he had to focus on his career. I… Read more »

Isa
5 months ago

We had been apart for a month, we live in different cities and we he broke up via text, but we were still talking every day and I was desperate and not hiding it for a second. I begged and pleaded him not to end things and give us a shot, also to think about HIS part of the guilt, as I was fully aware of my own wrong doings. Last time we texted was a week ago and I was so annoyed by the whole situation – kind of a limbo, saying he does not believe our relationship could… Read more »

Cathy
5 months ago
Reply to  Isa

Ignore, ignore, ignore! When someone loves you then they don’t even have to say it because you already know! He’s not committed to making you happy. He’s number 1. Don’t settle. You will be sorry. If he treated you like this during courtship (the best time) then just imagine how ignored and unloved you would feel after a few years of marriage. Run, don’t look back! I’ve been there and it gets MUCH BETTER!

Unknown Girl
1 month ago

I’ve been aware that cutting any communication from your ex is to let yourself heal and to improve yourself. My ex-boyfriend courted me for about 2 months and a half and dated him for 3 months. Then he broke up with me with a lot of reasons. And I just simply asked him if he doesn’t have any feelings for me anymore so I can easily (well not easy) accept it and let him go rather than listening to all of his reasons why he needs to end our relationship. But he replied “no” keeps explaining himself. The more he… Read more »

Anna
1 day ago

I was dating a guy for 3-4 months, due to no progress and him saying he was unsure about me, I ended it with him. We did not have contact for 3 months. He then contacts me and says he misses me, and wants to try again. We meet up and talks about it, and I ask him if he is sure about me, and really likes me, and he says yes. He then says as we have not seen each other for 3 months, that it would be nice/best to just see each other again for a month before… Read more »

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