5 Benefits of Being Single Even If You’re Feeling Lonely
We all know that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, particularly if you happen to be single. You imagine that if you had a boyfriend, you’d be happier, feel settled and more content, whatever. Still, you have to admit: there actually are some great benefits of being single!
I know sometimes it’s hard to feel like there are any benefits of being single when all you want is to be in another (better) relationship, but sometimes you just need a new perspective about where you are in life and what you have. I’m going to give you that perspective.
I’ve been in a relationship for the past four years, and it’s been amazing. But to write this article and create this video on the benefits of being single, I had to go back in time in my mind and in my diaries to reconnect with those emotions I had when I was single.
Yes, I remember the frustration of not having a partner. But I also remember that, for the most part, I was pretty happy during my single years. I had a lot of fun and spent a ton of time with my friends. I went out on a lot of dates. Now, I wouldn’t trade Jess for even a minute of being single, but I just make this point: there are benefits to being single, and if you focus on those instead of how frustrated you are being alone, you’ll actually get some satisfaction out of your status.
Now that I’ve said my piece, let’s look at those benefits of being single.
5 Sneaky Benefits of Being Single That You Never Thought Of
This list is kinda short, but believe me: there are tons of other benefits of being single. You just have to look out for them. They’re different for everyone. For me, it was letting my house get totally messy without it bothering anyone else. Sure, being a slob may not be a perk to you, but you’ll have your own list beyond the benefits of being single listed below.
1. You Have Total Flexibility to Do Anything You Want
If you wanted to (and had the funds), you could hop a flight to Fiji today. If you were in a relationship, you would need to have a discussion about you taking off and spending your collective money. There’s no travel-on-a-whim when you’re in a relationship.
Let’s make a smaller example of this: if you want to eat ice cream and beer for dinner, no one’s around to judge, except maybe your dog. You could read a book in the bathtub without anyone telling you that you’ll get the pages wet. You can go out every night of the week…or stay in every night.
When you’re in a relationship, great as it can be, you have another person who you need to consider before you do things. If you live together, you need to compromise about your space. If you have one bathroom, reading for two hours in the bath may not be feasible, because he might need to use the facilities. If you’re dating a man with a large social circle, you may have fewer quiet nights at home than you’d like. It’s all about compromise — and it’s totally worth it to be in a relationship with the right person, but instead of yearning for the time when you’ll be in that situation, enjoy this time where you don’t have to sacrifice a thing for anyone else.
Rock the Benefit: So take advantage of this time in your life doing whatever you want, whenever you want (it’s not permanent, I promise). Because there will come a day when you’re in a relationship where you’ll look back at this period and be a little envious that you no longer have that level of flexibility.
2. Being Single Tends to Be a More Fun and Exciting Time in Your Life
Look, being in a relationship is amazing and can produce more feelings of contentment and security than when you’re single…but being single, you tend to have more excitement and variety in your life. You’re meeting lots of new people. You’re going out. Trying new things.
You may not have been this active in 20 years if you’ve been married for decades. You may feel 20 years younger because you’re so active!
When you’re in a relationship, you don’t meet as many people or go to as many parties. You’re spending time more at home with the man you love, and you’re completely happy doing so. It’s that case of the grass being greener again!
Rock the Benefit: Acknowledge that one day, your social life will slow down because you will have found love. Enjoy your single status! Go out to restaurants and bars with friends. Try new activities like hiking or salsa dancing. And hey, in addition to having a fantastic time trying new things, you might even meet a guy while doing so!
3. Your Social Life Tends to Flourish
I know a lot of single women feel like they’re closer to their friends now than they ever were when they were married.
Here’s some interesting research: in a study of 814 single and married people, researcher Bella DePaulo found that the singles valued their connections with parents, siblings, friends, and coworkers more than the married people.
“When people marry, they become more insular,” said DePaulo. It makes sense. Once you’ve found that person that you’re so comfortable with, you don’t need to go out all the time. You’re happy hanging on the couch. Believe me: Jessica and I spend a lot of time at home, and in all honesty, it’s pretty great.
You also learn a lot about who you are by the people you surround yourself with. That’s really cool, in my book.
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Rock the Benefit: So being single, you rely on those social connections more. You may feel like your friends become your family, and that’s really awesome. Nurture those relationships and realize that there may come a day when you’ll be less close to these people, and that’s completely normal.
4. You Can Flirt with New People
Surprise, surprise: when you’re in a relationship, you can’t flirt with other people! You can certainly flirt with your partner — but flirting with the cute bartender when you’re out with your girlfriends is a big no-no.
You may not feel confident flirting, especially if you’ve gotten out of a long-term relationship or marriage recently. But this is the ideal time for you to practice! It’s a harmless way to communicate with men, and improving your skills will help you gain confidence.
Rock the Benefit: Whether you love flirting or are completely apprehensive about it, use this time to do it more. Every single day, find some opportunity to flirt with a man. That could mean you wink at your barista when picking up your triple shot maple latte, or you gently tease a man at the library about that cookbook he’s picked up. Have no expectations from your flirting, and you’ll enjoy it more!
5. You Save a Lot of Money!
If you don’t make a lot of money or you’re in a financial pinch, as a single lady, you can make the decision to scale back any extra spending on social activities (those happy hours can rack up!), whereas when you’re in a relationship, you’re relying on two people to scale back on what you’re spending (which can be challenging to coordinate!).
Also if you’re going on dates and the guy is paying, you get dinner and get to save money!
Interestingly, 89% of people say they spend more money when they’re in a relationship than when they’re single!
Rock the Benefit: Think about what you’d do if you had a lump sum of money. Take a trip? Pay off debt? Save for a house? Set a goal and start saving so that you reap the benefit of being financially more frugal right now.
So you see? There really are benefits to being single! It’s all a matter of paying attention to that silver lining rather than feeling like you’re missing out on having a great love life.
You will have a great love life. I promise. It just may not happen today. In the meantime, realize that your single status is temporary, and enjoy it to the max. Realize that you may never have so much time to be a good friend, try things you never thought you would, or boost your self-confidence as you do right now!
Leave a comment below: what other benefits of being single do you see? Are you truly making the most of this time in your life?
PS. If you’re ready to start making men pursue you for love, then join me on this free webinar to discover the 3 steps to building emotional attraction – Register here to get started (it’s 100% free).
My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story