The #1 Reason Why Men Stop Pursuing You
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It’s not your sense of humor…
It’s not your physical appearance…
And it’s not your sense of style…
In fact, the number one reason men stop pursuing women… might actually shock you.
The worst part is that you might think doing THIS is actually helping you win him over…
It’s not.
If you want to get and hold a man’s interest, you need to STOP making this brutal mistake right now…
And…
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… ironically…
You’ll start giving him what he REALLY wants by default.
So many women are guilty of doing this one thing that I’d venture to guess it’s the biggest reason why new relationships fail before they even get started.
This week’s video might be short, but it’s powerful.
Watch it now and join the conversation in the comments below.
Your Coach,
Adam
Summary –
Here’s the deal:
Imagine you go to a local pub…
A craft beer drinkin’ hipster dude strolls up, plants himself next to you, and delivers a cheesy, but strangely endearing pick up line.
You push him away, even though he’s pretty attractive, but he seems eager, and he keeps persisting…
So you finally give in.
You start talking to him and eventually give him your number.
He follows up with you, and you end up going out on a date.
Lo and behold, you start to actually really like this guy.
Fast forward three months later and he suddenly breaks it off…
To avoid giving up on men altogether, here’s the number one reason why men stop pursuing you in situations like these.
The number one reason is that you’ve given him everything that he wanted.
You gave him your time, your emotions, your feelings, your commitment.
All of this without expecting the same from him in return.
If this seems to happen to you a lot…
Men start pursuing you, and then out of nowhere they stop the pursuit.
You’re a very good person, so when someone’s inside your inner circle you want nothing more than to share your everything with that person.
Unfortunately, to be successful in the area of men and dating, it doesn’t really work that way.
In order to keep a man pursuing you, he needs something to continually pursue.
It means that you need to make sure you’re moving slowly at the beginning.
Not only should you hold off on giving him your time, but also hold off on giving him your emotions.
Not because you’re playing games or anything, but instead because you’re not going to give all that up to someone you don’t know very well yet.
Remember: until you’re in that committed relationship and you’ve known him for long enough, he’s still a stranger.
Make sure you move slowly at the beginning and that you don’t give up everything at first.
This will keep him pursuing you.
You’ll automatically position yourself as that special person who deserves to be pursued.
Have you ever made this mistake? Giving him your all without expecting anything in return?
Comment below and tell me how you dealt with the situation.
Been there done that. It’s an odd expectation that we women have. We are often under the notion that if we open up wide and early that somehow the man will be receptive and drawn in closer to us. Wrong! Holding back untii after someone has EARNED makes sense. Would we be that open and trusting with men that we’re not interested in? Definitely not. Would we become the proverbial bucket of water with a hole in it to randoms strangers on the street? Definitely not. A male friend once used a good analogy that I’ll share. Imagine shopping for… Read more »
I’ve learned to hold back in giving in too much of me. But somehow when I feel there’s a connection, I end up giving too much again. It’s sad because there are times that a connection is there but later to find out I’ve been lead on. I may be transparent but I’ve learned to just keep thing vague until I’m ready to fully say how I feel and let him know who I am. Dating scene has changed so much. It seems more difficult now compared to what I was used to 17 years ago… yes 17 years ago.… Read more »
Yes… I get this. When do you decide to go all in? I dated someone for 14 months and went slowly. When I thought he was all in, I went all in. That was about 5 months. Then he backed off about month 9.
I’ve been with my guy for over 4 years and I never gave it all away I instead learned right away to hold back and I still haven’t gave him everything about me because I know there is always room for that when I am ready . I also believe even though I still have struggles I try and keep him on his toes . Keep him guessing sometimes though I want time from him when he isn’t giving it the me but then I realize the way to keep it fresh is to not get that time I can… Read more »
Adam! I did it again.. I’m such a fool! Why didn’t you tell me this before? Met this great guy and he was actually the one to speed things up, giving me no chance to go slowly. We’ve only been seeing each other for 6 weeks and thought he was really into me, as he kept making future plans.. Then after he invited me to spend a weekend with him and his family, he freaked out and pulled the plug – asking for space, booking up his nights and weekends, bla bla, bla.. He said he doesn’t want to break… Read more »
I usually start slow and progressively get my guy, my problem is keeping him. They make promises that they don’t keep and when you question them about it, they go off on you. Enough of the excuses of men and women thinking differently. We may be the opposite sex, but we are human beings. We should respect one another in every way. No one has a right to abuse another’s trust, be it male or female. If all this were true why then do we have people married for 40 or 50 years? To me, it all boils down to… Read more »
Amen sister! I agree! Quit making excuses for men’s crappy behavior! You said exactly how I feel!
Girl yes!
To be honest Adam, as you said, I went slowly till 4th date but He tought I’m playing games to not giving him all and he rejected me, found someone else and got engaged in 5 months.
Oh, I was smart enough. I was even afraid to admit that I fell in love with him. Two months in, he flipped out on me because I told him for the first time one secret I have. He said that I was leading him on just to let him down with this one secret that I didn’t tell him at the beginning. I was like, dude, who are you? It’s good enough I trusted you with a secret only after knowing you for 2 months. Right? But because I’m a really nice person, I apologized, for nothing. I should… Read more »
I’m currently in a 6 month relationship and I think this is where I am at. I have given all of myself to him but now he is becoming aloof and we just seem to be going through the motions. I did find out a couple of days ago his online dating profile is still up and well alive. So now I have to have that conversation with him. I never asked if we were exclusive, I didn’t feel the need to, so that’s my mistake (Its becoming obvious that we are in two very different places in this relationship).… Read more »
Adam, I loved your video! I love all of them. I want to ask you a question.. I hope it’s ok if I do it here! I’ve been in a wonderful , awesome relationship for 2 years. We get along so well, he’s my best friend, soul mate, best friend, & lover. We are both 51. When we met he had just gotten a divorce from a marriage that was horrible to a woman that was a horrible , screaming nag! Now, I’m getting to my dilemma … I believe he’s afraid to get married again. She REALLY did a… Read more »
Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t. It’s a crapshoot. Ladies (and Gentlemen): Do the best you can with what you know at the time. Hold yourself in high regard and give to the degree you’re comfortable. Don’t beat yourself up if a relationship doesn’t work out “forever.” Feel the pain, mourn, and then move on.
Best, most humanized reply & advice ever!!!!! Rebecca, you rock!
I’m not comfortable baring my soul on a public forum. Is there a private way to share or ask questions and receive a response? Thanks
In other words hold back as much as possible.
But most of the time guys complain and treat me like an inconvenience when I’m not “reciprocating.”
Hmm super awesome comments. Good article. I don’t think it should be so hard. It is sad that when i have been interested i have overshared…and not gotten a second date. But here we are now…we live and learn. The worst is when u r heartbrokem and feel like u did something wrong. If only u acted in a different way maybe they would still be in your life. Well I have learned the hard way. I put the past to rest by saying to.myself that that person did not respect me or see my magnificence as a human being,… Read more »
I just have just one comment for all the ladies who felt they’ve been slighted or whatever . . . welcome to a mans world. Besides, if you’re a woman and you’re 30 without your dream man in sight, then it’s over for you. No quality guy wants a post-wall woman. You have no sexual appeal. By 35 it’s definitely tough sledding for a chic. They all end up becoming rag doll booty for fat, short bald guys, cuz let’s face it, quality men want it young and fertile, right off the tree. You women need to widen up and… Read more »
Do whatever you’d like. But the sad facts are that women don’t have anything positive to add to a man’s life. Your cost greatly exceeds your benefit. We’ve stopped pursuing because being with a woman is miserable. And it’s not going to change until you do. But we’re not holding our breath; we’ve discovered how awesome life can be when you’re free from women. Good luck with your cats!
That’s right. Don’t put any effort into the relationship, that will get the guy to stick around. NOT!
horrible suggestion
horrible suggestion. I move on if the girl makes it difficult in just a week. Three months and you are still playing hard to get?
Actually that idea doesn’t apply to all men.
Some men would go away if you hold yourself back.
You actually should do everything in the right amount.
Trust your intuition.