Single on Valentine’s Day: 4 Ways to Treat Yo’self Like You Love Yo’self
Men suck. Being single on Valentine’s Day sucks. It’s just a holiday invented by greeting card companies. Suck suck suck.
Yea. I get it. Having a holiday that’s all about love, sweet love when you’re far from being in it can be super irritating. It feels like the world has exploded with roses and heart-shaped balloons, and all you want to do is crawl under a rock.
But trust me: you’re far from the only person sweating being single on Valentine’s Day! In fact, the Census Bureau found a record number of adults in the U.S. were single in 2017. More than 45% of Americans were divorced, widowed or had always been single.
So…yea. Stop feeling like you’re the only one.
In today’s video, I talk about how you can be happy with your single life, on Valentine’s Day, on Flag Day, on every day.
Now, I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, Adam, aren’t you a relationship coach? Don’t you help people find love? Why are you trying to convince me that I want to be single??
Here’s a secret that I have found: the best way to find a great relationship is to actually be happy with your single life.
No, really, it’s true. I’ve heard this over, and over, and over again, especially with clients that join the Love Accelerator, my 9-week program that helps women find love. I find at the end of the program, a lot of my clients say that the moment that they became happy with their single life was the very moment that they get snatched up by a great guy.
It’s funny, they’re almost like, hey, I was actually starting to enjoy my single life and now I don’t have to be single anymore!
But it really is that moment when you finally start enjoying being on your own that you start to attract love.
Whether you’re sad because you’re single on Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings rather than bury them in a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s.
Realize that the state of being single is temporary. Do you really believe you’ll be single the rest of your life? You might say it, with your hand dramatically draped across your brow for effect, but you know deep down that you won’t be. You may have several more relationships in your lifetime. You may play the field. Or you might meet Mr. Right tomorrow.
You just never know. So enjoy this time for what it is: an amazing opportunity to get to know yourself without a partner.
Here are a few reasons to celebrate being single on Valentine’s Day (besides the fact that chocolate and roses are so cliché!
Reason #1 Being Single on Valentine’s Day Rocks: Being a Singleton is Exciting!
I want you to acknowledge that being single can actually be one of the most exciting and fun times of your life.
Being single doesn’t mean being lonely…unless you make it that way.
You know how people say that the grass is always greener when it comes to being single versus being in a relationship? Well, here’s why I believe that the grass is always greener. When you’re single, life is intoxicating: you’re meeting a ton of new people. Maybe you’re venturing into the world of online dating. You don’t have to check in with someone when you want to go out or spend money or go on a vacation. You can eat ice cream and beer for dinner. There’s no one to judge you.
When you’re settled into a relationship, you don’t meet as many people, mainly because you’re happy staying home with your partner. You have to learn how to live in harmony with someone who leaves his dirty underwear on the floor. You may long for those exciting single days at that point in your life, as hard as that is to imagine right now!
These two states of being are very different. On one hand, when you’re single you’re going to have lots of unpredictability, lots of excitement, and lots of crazy stories that you’re going to tell your girlfriends about, and you will later look back on your single time as being really fun, even if those experiences seem horrible to experience right now.
Whereas, when you’re in a relationship, you’re going to love having security, happiness, and intimacy, but you’re not going to be living those wild moments you might have had when you were single. Neither way is right or wrong; they each have their own benefits.
But don’t underestimate how amazing it can be to be single. Enjoy it and be grateful for that time of your life, because if all goes well, as you follow the Sexy Confidence way, you’re not going to be single for very long.
So, appreciate this time in your life, and don’t forget to enjoy it!
Reason #2 Being Single on Valentine’s Day Rocks: Society Isn’t the Boss of You
Do me a favor, okay? Stop listening to societal expectations about how you need to be in a relationship.
When your mother tells you that you need to find a husband right now, take it with a grain of salt.
When your grandmother moans that she won’t be around much longer and asks when are you giving her great-grandchildren, smile and ignore it.
When a married friend asks if you’re seeing anyone and then looks sorry for you when you tell her you’re single, brush it off.
It’s really hard to hear opinions from people in our lives, even when it’s well-meaning advice. It can be especially annoying when you’re single and everyone wants to chime in on what it is that you should be doing in your love life.
[And, please comment below, by the way, if you find that people in your life are constantly telling you what you should do with your love life.]
But what happens a lot is that people put pressure on you, saying that you need to find a relationship. And, in many ways it implies that there’s something wrong with you if you’re not in a relationship.
But, I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re an amazing person, and yes, you might be single right now, but it’s because you’re holding onto these standards for yourself and for a relationship, and you’re willing to wait until a man that meets all of your requirements comes along.
You don’t want to be in a relationship and feel lonely later. You’d rather be single now, having fun and enjoying yourself, until you find a relationship that’s right for you 100%.
You’re willing to wait to find a great partner. A person that you can really spend the rest of your life with.
So hold out, enjoy your time right now, and don’t let people in your life make you feel bad for being single. It’s none of their god$@mn business whether you’re single or not!
Reason #3 Being Single on Valentine’s Day Rocks: It’s a Great Day to Meet People
If you are reading this on or before Valentine’s Day, then please remember: Valentine’s Day is absolutely the best time to go out and meet other single people. Why?
Because everyone who’s out at a party or at a bar on Valentine’s Day is single.
Think about it.
So, go out, have fun, enjoy yourself. Go meet as many people as possible. And, really, don’t be afraid to have weird conversations with weird people! Open up your mind to the possibility of who you might end the night with. There’s nothing wrong with making out with a bearded hipster 10 years younger than you on Valentine’s Day! What happens on V-Day stays on V-Day. Didn’t you know??
And here’s something interesting: I’ve found when people are looking for love, the person they end up with doesn’t look like, smell like, or act like the person they thought they would end up with. So, keep an open mind when it comes to who you talk to and who you meet. Because if you find that you tend to date the same type of man without long-term success, the best thing that you can do is start meeting different types of people that you normally wouldn’t have thought might be good boyfriend material for you. You just never know.
Reason #4 Being Single on Valentine’s Day Rocks: It’s an Excuse to Pamper Yo’Self
Really, though, who needs an excuse to pamper themselves? But look at being single on Valentine’s Day as the reason you make February 14 all about you.
Here are a few ways to celebrate being single on Valentine’s Day:
- Book an all-day spa treatment, complete with massage and mani/pedi
- Treat yourself to some retail therapy
- Have dinner and drinks with your single ladies
- Go to a singles mixer
- Book a hotel just for you (or with girlfriends) and have a mini vacation
It surprises me how few ladies actually pamper themselves regularly! It’s such a good way to de-stress, relax, and detox any time, but Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to take care of you.
So there you have it. Maybe I showed you a little of why being single on Valentine’s Day (or any other day) ain’t so bad after all. It’s all about your mindset.
If you want to feel sad and lonely because you’re single, be my guest. But that’s your choice.
There are tons of women who prefer to be single: studies show that 32% of single women aged 45 to 65 prefer to be on their own. So clearly, being single isn’t a death sentence!
I feel like I need to be the messenger on this. Over the years, I’ve created hundreds of videos trying to help women just like you get out there, find love, change their single status, and find a great relationship.
But, I’m here to tell you that you can be happy the way you are, right now.
Appreciate every single minute, every single hour of your life.
Whether you are single, in an “it’s complicated,” relationship, a long-term relationship, a long-distance relationship, whether you’re married, divorced, widowed… Whatever your status, please just remember to enjoy your life and be grateful for what you have right now.
How do you plan to celebrate being single on Valentine’s Day this year? I’d love to hear from you in the comments right there below.
My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story