3 Signs You’re Wasting Time with the Wrong Man

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Notes from the podcast:

Time is our most precious asset, and in matters of the heart, it’s often hard to tell when we’re investing it wisely. You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt like you were wasting time in a relationship. A staggering 56 percent of women struggle to find someone who meets their expectations, a sentiment only 35 percent of men share. But what constitutes “wasted time”? It’s when you continue investing in a relationship despite knowing it won’t last.

If you find yourself in this situation, being kind to yourself is important. Sometimes, we need time to learn valuable lessons about love and relationships. However, the key is to apply these lessons moving forward.

3 Major Signs You’re Wasting Time

1. Imbalance in Investment: If you constantly invest more in the relationship than your partner, it might be time to reassess.

2. Lack of Progress:  Relationships should grow and evolve. If yours is stagnant, it could be a sign that it needs to be headed in a positive direction.

3. Constant Conflict: While disagreements are normal, persistent unrest might indicate fundamental incompatibilities.

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4 Steps to Stop Wasting Time in Relationships

Step 1: Assess Your Relationship Information Diet

What you consume media-wise can shape your expectations and beliefs about relationships. If your sources are reality TV shows, social media, or well-meaning but misguided advice from friends and family, it might skewing your perspective. Consider seeking more grounded, realistic sources of advice.

Step 2: Be Callously Decisive

Sometimes, being kind can prolong a relationship that isn’t right. Making tough decisions early is crucial to avoid more significant pain later. Decision-making should be sharp and clear, not hesitant and ragged.

Step 3: When in Doubt, Zoom Out

Think long-term. Successful people plan in years rather than months. Viewing your relationship through a long-term lens can help clarify whether the immediate struggles are worth enduring.

Step 4: Don’t Lower Your Standards, Increase Your Patience

Finding the right partner shouldn’t be rushed. It’s better to remain single than to settle for a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs. Know what’s essential for you in a partner and hold out for someone who aligns with your values.


Recognizing when you’re wasting time with the wrong person can help you find the right one. Remember, relationships are significant decisions deserving of your time and attention, not just to form but also to maintain. By being mindful of where your time goes, you can ensure it’s spent with someone genuinely worth it.

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Amanda G
24 days ago

I love the piece about looking at your relationship in terms of years. It’s a really great idea.

24 days ago

Patience !!! (and zoom out) you guys nailed it

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