3 Reasons to Move SLOW While Dating

Lasting Love is the result of a powerful strategy. Ready to get started? Click here to learn the strategy (it's free)

I was speaking to a client the other day, and she was super excited to tell me that she’d met this amazing guy, and sparks were flying.

Editor’s note: Ready to attract love with a proven strategy? Watch this free video to learn the 7 powerful steps

The only problem was that he was moving pretty fast. He was texting and calling and wanted to see her all the time. He took her out Thursday night and wanted to see her on Friday and again on Saturday!

She likes him, so she wants to spend time with him. But I told her to slow things down because it’s so important to pace the progression of your connections (Little Love Step #5) at this stage when dating.

Here are three reasons why you’ve got to move slowly like a tortoise, even if you get that urge to sprint ahead.

  1. It gives you time to really get to know someone

in the first one to two months of dating, people are usually wearing some sort of mask and not showing you their whole hand. This is normal because you’ve just met and are still feeling each other out.

But we need to see what that man is like underneath the mask before we go exclusive with him and before we commit our heart to him.

Exclusivity is a big deal. You’re removing yourself from the dating field and declaring that this is the person you see a long-term future with. Let yourself really get to know someone so you can make the right choice for you and the life you want to build.

  1. It allows you to be in control of the process

When you pace things and tell a man you want to take things slow and get to know him before you commit, it does two powerful things.

#1. It builds tension in your connection.

#2. It puts you firmly in the power seat and keeps him chasing you. And this is exactly where you want to be.

When you move slower than he wants to move, it will automatically make him want to speed things up!

  1. It gives you an opportunity to weed out the men who can’t handle pacing

Some men (like love bombers) are far too controlling and can’t stand it when a woman doesn’t do what they say, and these men tend to be terrible long-term partners.

In the early stages of dating, the problem is that these guys can be difficult to spot because they’re on their best behavior, trying to wine and dine you.

So when you hit the brakes, it gives you a great opportunity to see which men are okay with that. Who is okay with you setting the pace and following suit, and who throws all their toys out of the baby stroller?

Ditch the baby stroller guys, and continue dating the men happy to match your pace.

What do you think? Share your thoughts below...

Subscribe
Notify of

19 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Monica A
2 years ago

I have been told to move slow, but didn’t really know why, until your video. Thank you!! I don’t need another controlling narcissist in my life. I am in control of my life now, after a ten year hiatus from my last abusive marriage. I value your videos and knowledge and when I am ready to date again, if ever, I’ll have the answers I need.

Rhonda
2 years ago

Yes I’m ready

Jill
2 years ago

I’m confused because a guy just recently asked me out at work when I told him I had recently become single and he said he is interested but now he isn’t asking to see me or anything is that a normal slow pace? Or is that just a guy who isn’t really interested at all?

Colleen
2 years ago
Reply to  Jill

Sounds like it’s time to move on from him. Next!

Joanne
2 years ago

I was going slow. Was seeing someone for about 4 months. He knew I was not ready for sex. Then he put something in my drink and I have no recollection of that night.

Colleen
2 years ago
Reply to  Joanne

Wow! Horrible.

Sandy keefe
2 years ago

I am going with a guy right now, we have only known each other for a month. He is a good man, but he does work full time, and his work that he does is very demanding, so he does work long hours, he also is raising a 17 year daughter, so on his spare time he likes to gulf, I just wish , that we could spend a little bit more time together.We only see each other maybe once a week. And he tries to come over when he can, and he also brings his work with him, as… Read more »

Colleen
2 years ago
Reply to  Sandy keefe

Sounds like he is doing everything right, especially if you have only been seeing each other one month.

Colleen
2 years ago

Great reminders on the “why.” Thank you!!

2 years ago

I always love to hear your thoughts on men and dating! I learnt the hard way in the past that going fast so does not work. I have been single for a long time, and will need to really remember this when I finally do meet someone! lol 🙂

jenn
2 years ago

Just got rid of a horrible love bomber. He’s been alone for 9 years, so he wants to get married NOW! I wasn’t happy with such a big step so soon, and told him I expect to be courted, and get to know him.

He disappeared, only to pop up a week later. I sent him packing, only to have him pop up AGAIN after two weeks. Next!

Did I dodge a bullet or what?

Anna
2 years ago

Would be interEstes in a video about pacing once you’re in a relationship. Curious on your take for pacing living together/marriage etc?!?

Sebastian Dylon
2 years ago

Essays are pieces of writing that explain the author’s point of view in relation to a certain subject. Students commonly seek college essay aid https://writemypapers4me.net/admission-essay-writing-service/ because they don’t have enough time to finish their unfinished writings. They require assistance with writing college essays due to both the complexity of the subject and the time constraints. In short, college life is difficult, which is why many students seek professional help to complete their unfinished work. You’ve already found the best website in the industry if you can relate to this situation, so stop reading now. Our staff of expert writers at Global Assignment… Read more »

Holly
2 years ago

I’ve been seeing this man exclusively for almost 6 months now, but we have known each other at least 25 years. Our second date together was a day of hiking and just walking and talking and it felt like we had been a couple for years. Kissing got a little steamy very unexpectedly and we stopped it at that. The next day he said he wasn’t expecting to feel that way so quickly, that he knows he can be completely himself with me and didn’t want to rush things. We talk/text every day and see each other 2-3 times a… Read more »

Holly
2 years ago
Reply to  Holly

We have also never brought up love either. I figured if steamy kissing scared him that much, then I can’t be the first one to say I love you

2 years ago

What you share is great and useful to the community, with lots of useful information. Please continue to update. thanks! word puzzles

SSDSD
1 year ago

Finding a reliable essay writing service can be a challenge. This website makes that process easier by offering detailed reviews of various services. The reviews are comprehensive and cover all the essential aspects like pricing, quality, and customer service. It’s a resource you don’t want to miss, so make sure to check out https://nocramming.com/essayhub-review . The website also features a blog with valuable writing tips, making it a one-stop-shop for all your academic writing needs.

Linda
1 year ago

What about the women that are widows, when dating? You know the ones that were married 45-50 years…..I’ve been talking with a man for over a year, we have had several dates, we are exclusively seeing each other..he lives in another state, we have an understanding. His 2 sons are fine with our relationship. Mine are not. What advice do you have for me

Michael Souliere
1 month ago

Totally agree with moving slow while dating, it’s all about taking time to really know someone. Kind of like when I had to slow down and realize I couldn’t handle everything in nursing school on my own! I was juggling so many things—work, studies, and life in general—that I ended up needing help with my nursing paper examples. Getting that extra support with my nursing papers really took a load off and let me focus on the more important stuff.

Other articles you may like...

1

Dating in Your 40’s and Beyond for Successful Single Women

1

First Date Fumbling? 4 Tips for Better Conversations

1

10 Harsh Truths about Dating Men You Wish You Knew Sooner