Why You’ll Push Him Away If You Do THIS
If you’re a woman killing it in all areas of your life, you are probably no stranger to giving your all to everything.
Experience has taught you that the more energy you put in, the more you get out.
The problem is this equation doesn’t work when applied to your love life.
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One of our star students in our Love Accelerator program followed all the Little Love Steps to a tee. She got all the way to Little Love Step #6, is in an exclusive, committed relationship, and she and her partner agreed to delete their dating apps.
But the other day, in a mastermind session, she asked me, “should I ask him if he’s off the apps?”
I said, “no, he has already told you he is; you don’t need to verify that!”
Then she asked, “now that we’re in a committed relationship, should I ask him about where we’re going to live if this gets serious?”
Again, I said, “no, that type of go-getter energy that got you the guy will not help you keep the guy!”
If you try and rush things or control them too much in the early stages, you will push him away. Sometimes the key is to be present and enjoy where you’re at rather than constantly looking ahead.
So, here are some tips to help you not push him away.
- Relinquish control
I’ve been reading a fantastic book called Wild Problems by Russ Roberts, in which he writes about the challenge of knowing the right decision to make and that love falls into this category.
He explains that sometimes when we have a wild problem, we must let go of control.
He gives the analogy of a car skidding on ice. Your instinct might be to regain control of the vehicle by turning the wheel, but anyone who has been in this situation knows that this will only make things worse. You have to take your foot off the gas. And the same applies to relationships.
If a guy starts to pull away, instead of leaning in more and trying to fix it, take your foot off the gas. Let things stabilize again, and see where you land.
- Make him miss you by being a person he should actually miss
When he’s with you, and you spend time together, it should be a fun, engaging experience.
And when he’s not with you, you should have a full, exciting life where you pursue your hobbies, interests, and passions.
Have a full, incredible life without him, and he will miss you when you’re not around.
- Move slower than him
Little Love Step #5 is all about pacing the progression of your connections. That means when you reach the point where you really like a guy and want to speed things up, you slow things down even further.
When you pace things this way, it will make him want to move even faster, and this helps to build desire and anticipation.
- Be cautiously optimistic
The final thing to remember to avoid pushing him away is that you won’t truly know someone until you’ve been dating them for about a year.
After two to three months, you might think you know everything there is to know about this guy, but you don’t!
So remind yourself of this while getting to know him, and be cautiously optimistic. Move at an intentional pace before you dive in too deep.
Have you ever pushed a guy away by moving too fast?
Let me know in the comments below!