Why You Might Always End Up in Unhealthy Relationships
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If you find that you’re constantly landing yourself in the middle of unhealthy relationships, there is a MASSIVE reason why.
Even though this character trait is something that everyone admires in another person…
… it’s murdering your chances of finding and developing the kind of healthy relationship you’ve been secretly craving.
Discover what I’m talking about in my latest video right here:
Your ability to push through struggle when something bad happens in your life is a great survival mechanism…
… but gritting your teeth and just pushing through an unhealthy relationship is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when it comes to finding love and happiness.
Check out this short video and I’ll tell you exactly what to do instead.
You Coach,
Adam
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Summary –
Have you ever started seeing a guy, things are going really, and then shortly after that point, the relationship turns unhealthy?
Maybe you end up fighting way too much, or the fights are always blowouts.
You find that you’re fighting more than you’re actually getting along. Or you just discover that there’s a bunch of things that are just not compatible with you.
Or worse, you find out that he’s a total narcissist.
There can be many reasons why you might attract these men in the first place, but that’s not really what this video is about.
Ultimately, the reason why you find yourself in long-term relationships with these men can be summed up in one word, and one word only.
Resiliency.
Resiliency is your ability to adjust easily to misfortune.
Many times, our society praises highly resilient people.
These are the types of people who go through struggles, can push through anything, and when something bad happens in their life, they can just grit their teeth and just push through it.
In many cases, resiliency can be a very good thing, so long as there’s a potential light at the end of the tunnel.
You want to push through it, and then have an amazing light at the end of the tunnel.
Many times in relationships, I see women who are incredibly resilient, but they use that resiliency and toughness and apply it to relationships.
That can be very dangerous.
Here’s why:
Sometimes in life and in love, if something isn’t right, it’s just not right.
Sometimes being resilient and trying to push through it and try to suck it up is the wrong move.
Sometimes ending something is much more courageous than pushing through it.
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The video above is meant for you to reflect on your past relationships.
Have you found that you’ve been just a little too resilient when things were just completely going south?
Did you push forward in that relationship when you saw that there’s just these obvious red flags?
Do you enjoy the process of always trying to fix something or fix someone rather than just leave it broke and move on?
If so, now is the time for a little bit of introspection, because the women who are ultimately successful at finding love don’t just get lucky and stumble upon it.
No.
Usually the ones who are most successful are the ones who are not resilient when they met the wrong guy.
They had the courage to stand up, realize that the situation is just wrong, and move on with their lives.
Every minute you stay in a bad relationship is a minute wasted where you could have been available for the right relationship.
The best thing is a good relationship doesn’t require resiliency.
It’s easy.
I’d love to hear from you.
Are you too resilient in relationships?
Leave me a message in the comments below.
[Like this episode? Make sure you check out: https://lovetexting.com/]
Adam I love you & your videos& this one too..
but from what I know there is RESILIENCE, Not resiliency 🙂
or? big hugs
oops i was wrong!! thanks for teaching me a new word 🙂 Hats off!
Hi Adam. I must say that i really like a lot of your videos. However, this one is way out. Resilience has nothimg to do when a woman pick up the wrong guy or typically the wrong guy or the narcissistic one. But is all to do about how that person was brought up like poor attachment from mother and father. Always craving for love and affection as a child. A bad relation were love is so control becomes the norm. It would also be great for you to talk about narcissistic men in more detail so it creates awareness.… Read more »
Yes, I’m with you, Cecilia!
Adam, please make an in-depth (perhaps longer?) video focused on the tell-tale signs of a narcissist.
We resilient gals may tend to pair with such men.
Thank you!
Rebecca
Yes I’m too resilient in relationships I’m bouncing in and out of one now. My head keeps saying stop it and never see/talk to him again and my heart is begging me to keep trying with him x
I usually enjoy your videos but the music in this one was just too much and very distracting so it detracts from what you are saying.
Oh gosh! Me too!! It’s more like i want to end things but i just don’t know how. But then also i don’t want to end things and i just need some love and affection but maybe too proud or too lazy to meet up and get to know a new guy. Then i end up pushing through a very toxic relationship. I know it is toxic but i don’t know how to exit. Could anybody help me with the courage please?
It’s Adam that is trying to be fair as he is politely saying we are strong, by terms of resilience, instead of saying we have something wrong with us for clinging to a narcissist. Thank you, Adam. And thank you for your amazing work. Please continue to help women as you have with me!
Yes I agree. Adam is finding the positives to being this way. My last relationship was with a narcissist and I held on thinking I was in love, it was the end of this relationship (and me becoming a single mum) that prompted me to find out as much as I possibly could about men and relationships. Something very positive to come out of a shit situation. Still not ready to trust my own decisions yet though and I hope that will come eventually. Love Adam’s videos!
I’m far too resilient in my relationship I know I am, but never seem to be able to walk away.
YES! I hang on to relationships. I do this because sometimes I don’t foresee a “light at the end tunnel “. I guess I need to change my perspective on that! I’d rather be available for the right guy then hanging on in dating circles with guys that are not right for me.
1. Are you needy? Are you hanging on to bad relationships because deep down you fear loneliness? Are you afraid you will miss out on creating a home and family? Learn to be alone and enjoy it. Once you enjoy the singleness, you will learn to balance the resilience with logical selection of a mate. Your “resilience” may fade into the memories as you learn a new kind of commitment. 2. Are you seeking new venues to meet new people? 3. Are you developing yourself as you progress through the life stages? Are you attracting only those men in your… Read more »
Never blame the good person good people are attacked and zeroed in on by bad people. It’s the bad people who have to change and stay clear of good honest people why are you blaming the victim!!
Good morning, Adam:
I slept on the information you shared in your “resilient” video and watched it again just now as I was washing my dinner dishes . . . Yes, I hate to leave relationships unfinished or unresolved. I want to “fix” the men I’m with. As you know, fixing a fifty-something man is futile. Perhaps my resilient nature has kept me from discovering real intimacy with a suitable partner.
Rebecca
Hi Adam. I have been pushing through an extremely toxic relationship off-and-on for the past 6 years with a cheating alcoholic. A complete narcissist. He’s going through recovery now, and I have tried to give it a chance because I want to believe it can be good again. I’m having serious doubts. He doesn’t like to plan nor talk about the future. His relapses brings him back to his former horrible behaviors. The old red flags keep popping up as well (the verbal abuse, hiding things from me). I understand that he’s trying to heal, but so am I. I’ve… Read more »
Just what I needed to hear. I’ve been practicing resiliency in a relationship with someone who does not deserve my loyalty and faithfulness. Thank you for spelling out my reality.
Oh yes, went back to an old relationship to try to make it work…for almost 3 years. It did not. Moving on.