If You Start Falling In Love With Him, DON’T DO THIS
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What do you do when you REALLY like a guy?
How do you flirt, keep him interested and show him the engaging parts of your personality?
Well if you’ve been following my emails then you’ve already learned some key “tips and tricks” based on sexy confidence. This means you already have an idea of what you SHOULD be doing in the beginning…
Now we’re going to talk about the OTHER side of that same coin.
In today’s video you’re going to discover what you SHOULD NEVER do (and why) when you start dating a guy you REALLY like.
It’s easy to get caught up in the beginning–with all the feel-good butterflies and positive vibes in the air, who wouldn’t get a little swept away?
But that’s exactly why it’s so important to be AWARE of what you’re doing in the beginning!
Avoid making the critical mistakes I discuss in today’s video and you’ll still be open to love–only NOW you’ll be protected no matter what comes your way.
Has that butterfly feeling ever swept you away? Tell me in the comments below.
PS: If you’re tired of the drama and frustration that comes with dating “Mr. Wrong” then it’s time to figure out how to attract “Mr. Right” (Hint: it has almost nothing to do with physical attraction, but EVERYTHING to do with emotional attraction).
If You Start Falling In Love With Him, DON’T DO THIS –
Imagine this scenario. You met a guy at a work event a few weeks ago. He’s funny, cool, and asked you lots of questions about yourself. He really made you think things were going really well, and then he asked for your number. He started texting you. The dude clearly likes you.
And then you’re at this point where, wow, this guy’s really into me and I’m really into him. You start envisioning yourself together, what it’d be like to introduce him to your parents, how much better and cooler this dude is than your ex. You start to feel the warm and fuzzies.
But the warm and fuzzies are not necessarily about him. They’re about the idea of him and you together.
You’re falling in love with the idea of love, which is a big no-no.
Don’t get too excited and don’t get too eager.
You think you know him, but you don’t know shit about him. The dude might kick dogs. He might chew tobacco. He might even be a Giants fan. You don’t know yet. You know nothing yet.
Now, you might say, “Adam, you’re wrong. I do know this guy.”
But you don’t. I mean, remember that last guy you got involved with? Yeah, that guy…
Didn’t work out so well, did it?
Editor’s note: Ready to attract love with a proven strategy? Watch this free video to learn the 7 powerful steps
So if you find yourself falling in love with the idea of love, take a step back mentally.
From this point forward, you are not allowed to think of the future with a guy until you’ve created a present with him.
In my opinion, you really need six months in a committed relationship with someone before you even start thinking about any type of real future with them. Because if you start thinking of that future ahead of that, you are setting yourself up for potential heartbreak. Just see where it goes.
The first month you start dating a guy, he’s a stranger.
Do you remember when your mom told you not to talk to strangers?
Well, I’m here to tell you not to fall in love with a stranger.
Then for the next two months after that, he gets upgraded to an acquaintance.
He’s in your orbit and that’s great, but he doesn’t make a massive impact in your life quite yet.
Then finally for the next three months after that, he can become a good friend.
This is where you can see if you actually like the real person behind all the dopamine and norepinephrine and all that stuff that went into your initial feelings for the guy.
Become friends with him. See if you actually enjoy spending time with that person before really investing all of your emotions in him.
Then after those six months, you can start falling in love with the idea of the relationship and, of course, falling in love with him. Fantastic.
Now, I know it’s not easy to stop love from happening. I know it’s not easy to hold back your emotions. The best thing you can do is maintain an incredible life, maintain all those things that are going great in your life. And if you don’t have great things going on in your life, keep working to make that happen.
The worst thing you can do is change your entire life and change everything around you just for a guy you recently met — a stranger. I’m here to protect you, support you and guide you. So please, take this advice very seriously. Don’t lose yourself when you first meet a guy.
I am slowly getting involved with someone and this is just how I am doing it. For the first time in my life, I have the feeling I am getting it right! What helps me is I write a log book about my thoughts and his and my actions. The one side of me that wishes to madly rush into his arms (I’m so in love…) is contained by my ‘bodyguard’ side (first let him prove he’s worth me!). Writing both sides down is really creating so much insight into myself and how things work with men. It slows me… Read more »
thats really interesting i think thats a great way to put your feelings onto paper without actually leading with your feelings.
Nice content but clearly written for the 20-somethings.
Thanks Adam!! 😀 For me it´s so great to see that i know really learned to use any feeling or thought for my advantage…. i´ve been training them, and looking at all those feelings, emotion and thoughts and i realized.. they are not really mine.. hahahha 😀 Some of them my lead to a good vibration… but i really catched the thought at the concious root and they do not get me anymore…. I am driving my car again… 😀 Thanks god … hahahhaha 😀 I realized that i can turn flirtatios…butterfliely feelings on and off…Jihaaaa…. i am healed… in… Read more »
OMG Adam!! what timing!! thank you!! just what i needed: a cold shower, even though i know it all, i did need a cold shower of wisdom from you! I met a guy through work – online first via linkedin.com – We started talking, accidentally, and we have been talking for nearly two montsh, and texting and finally we met yesterday as he also attended a work meeting ( he may become my client, so we have to be also mature and separate work and personal, and i have to trust him a lot from the start but so far… Read more »
Believe me, you may think you have chemistry, but you will not really know until you meet in person. Ask me how I know!
This video could not have come at a better time. Thank you, you are truly helping me to break some bad habits.
Thank you. This great advice comes at the perfect time.
I totally agree with you. Most of us do forgot about ourself but as you say It’s important to have a life and remember that it is still a stranger.That guy must fight for you and know your worth
It is very true!
love your videos.
This one hits it right on the mark.
Your like the big brother I never had. Woman need to hear this from a man.
sometimes people fall of track or forget these basic principles because of all the
technology and buy into quickly meeting people without really getting to know
who they really are. Much appreciated .
thanks adam!!! youve done it again 🙂
This is so great! I love how honest you are!
I met a guy at work 11 years ago. I made a decision long ago to not play with men I work with. Five years ago he sent me a message wanted to have lunch. We’ve been seeing each other off and on. He travels a lot (Europe, Asia, U.S.) and sometimes calls me to talk. One night he called and during the conversation, he mentioned he loved me. We spoke just before Christmas and he told me – again – there is chemistry between us. We both know that. A couple of things to note – he is married… Read more »
If you were married to him, would you want him to be in an emotional relationship with another?
Thanks Adam. I just met someone and I will take your advice, I’m glad for your videos it’s added support to help me weed through the players. Thanks so much
I disagree. I think it’s dangerous to tamper with Mother Nature and stamp out the spark of love. You have to go with it. Or else how will you ever “keep the spark going” or “get the spark back” later? You have to take advantage of those hormones in the beginning that are there to bond you! Or you end up with a very bland decision-based love that feels like settling. Where is the magic in that?
Yes, I agree. Having the warm & fuzzies is the single most important factor in having the greatest possible connection with someone. They are what distinguish Mr Right from Mr Anybody Else. However, we just need to make sure Mr Right is having the warm & fuzzies also! And at the same time 🙂 Men generally take a whole lot longer to warm up than us girls who are already more in touch with our feelings. We have a bad habit of jumping ahead… & ahead of the man. Adam makes the most important point in saying we should not… Read more »
Love your videos.
Omg. My most booooooorring ex that I moved half way across the country without even really knowing him, to be with him, with my cat, in his house…. was a huge giants fan, we would go to the games. He was a cool guy, I thought, until he slipped beef tongue and organ meats into my dinner after we lived together for a year. Soooo not cool. I totally moved out after that. I chose crappy crazy roommates over beef tongue. But, I was in San Francisco now, single, and my life became amaaaaaaazing.
Hey Adam–I’m a Giants fan–and I’m awesome. 🙂
Great advice thanks Adam I’m writing that down: 1-3 months aquaintance, 3-6 months friend, 6 months + boyfriend.
0 months even with all the butterflies, chills and heartbeats… a stranger
Thanks a lot Adam!
You hit the nail on the head…
Thanks for saving my a$$
So I’m like hey Adam I feel like I have feelings for someone that I don’t wanna be with later in life so ,, how can I control them (feelings)
Hi Louisa! Have you tried the no contact rule?
Thanks Adam! You brought so much attention to everything i wanted to ask you. Wow!! Awesome!! I
Great advice !!!