7 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back (And What to Do About It)
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If your ex-boyfriend has been sniffing around, and you think he’s exhibiting some signs your ex wants you back, he very well may be. In this article and video, I’ll help you decipher a few key actions that should tell you that maybe, just maybe, there’s a reunion in your future…if you want it.
Especially when you think it’s over — and then you start getting subtle (and probably confusing) signs your ex wants you back.
Talk about a mind f*ck!
But fear not, you sexy, single lady. I’m here to you unf*ck your mind (that came out wrong…) so that you gain just a little bit more clarity on the situation and can figure out what to do about it.
P.S. If you haven’t yet checked out my brand new resource called Heal Your Heart and Win Him Back, you’re going to want to download all the goodies it contains immediately because it’s your toolkit for reuniting with your ex.
Before we dive into those signs your ex wants you back, let me just say something: there is a big difference between him still having feelings for you…and him actually wanting you back. It’s normal for two people who were together weeks, months, or years to continue to have emotional ties to one another, but that doesn’t always mean they want to get back together…or should.
So as part of this exploration, we’ll also assess whether you even want to reunite with your ex. Depending on why you broke up, it might be better to let sleeping dogs lie than get back together in a relationship that has no future.
If his ego was bruised in the breakup (an extremely easy thing to do when it comes to men), he may not be confident enough to flat out tell you he’s still in love with you. But if he does one or more of the following, he very well may want to get back together with you.
Your Ex Wants You Back Sign #1: He Asks if You’re Seeing Anyone
This sign assumes that you’re in contact and that you have a pretty good back-and-forth dialogue with your ex. Maybe you’ve decided to just be friends, and you check in via text a few times a week.
This is fairly common in today’s technology era, by the way. A research study by The Atlantic showed that people today keep up with exes via social media (37%) and texting (45%).
If he’s asking about your relationships status, chances are, he wants the answer to are you seeing anyone? to be no. Sure, he plays it totally caj (that’s casual for you non hip cats), but you can see right through his ploy.
He may also be trying to gauge whether you’ve moved on after the breakup so that he can plan his next move toward winning you back.
If you are seeing someone, be honest, and then pay attention to his reaction. Does he seem totally cool with it…or maybe a bit jealous? If you’re not seeing anyone, let him know and see if that opens the door to talks about the two of you.
Your Ex Wants You Back Sign #2: He’s Reminiscing With You on Good Memories
I’m laughing because I actually suggest you reminisce via text if you’re trying to win this guy back in this article. So if he’s using the same strategy, it’s a good sign. If he’s bringing up the past, it means his head is going there, back to a time when you were happy…together.
Him: Oh man. I just pulled out that Ben Folds t-shirt I bought when we went to the concert on our first date. Remember how I spilled beer all over you? I was so embarrassed.
You: I found your nervousness to be sweet. That seems eons ago…
If you want this guy back, take that trip down Memory Lane with him. See where it goes.
Your Ex Wants You Back Sign #3: He’s Working on Improving Himself
Maybe you broke up because all he did was sit on the couch and play video games. Or because he was insanely jealous. Maybe he lived 300 miles from you. He left the toilet seat up. Whatever. If there was something he did (or didn’t do), it reached a point where you felt you couldn’t continue down the same path with the way things were.
But the thing is…now he’s telling you that he’s changed. That he’s working on whatever “thing” split the two of you apart. Why would he do that, you ask? To win you back. There is really no reason why a man would take the energy to better himself after a breakup except because he wants the woman who pointed out his flaws to come back to him.
Now, keep in mind, saying he’s changed and actually demonstrating it are two different things. You’re going to need proof. Old habits die hard, and some behaviors or beliefs (such as not wanting to get married) are going to require more than a few weeks of effort…if they can be changed at all.
So while you should absolutely commend him for working on himself, make it clear that he shouldn’t do it for you, but rather for himself. If those improvements are genuine and permanent, there may be a chance that you should get back with him. Time will tell.
Your Ex Wants You Back Sign #4: He Tells You He Misses You
Okay, this sign your ex wants you back is a little obvious, but we’re still going to cover it.
Just because he tells you he misses you doesn’t automatically mean he’s ready to get back together. He might be torn about the end of the relationship and his feelings about you. Maybe there was a giant problem (you wanted kids and he didn’t) that, if you could both ignore (which you can’t), things would be okay.
Or maybe you just got into an enormous fight that split you up and, egos aside, everything might be okay.
Research shows that 50% of couples who break up get back together and that they were ambivalent about breaking up in the first place.
Or maybe he just hasn’t let go entirely. The worst thing you can do right now is to be in what’s called a Fake Up. This fake breakup looks like a breakup…only it’s not. Maybe you say you’re not together, but you still text all the time.
You hang out.
Maybe you even hook up.
Basically, one or both of you is getting what you want from the non-relationship…without being in a relationship. It’s not healthy for you emotionally, and it makes permanently breaking that bond even harder down the road.
So figure out if he really misses you emotionally to the point that you should talk about reuniting…or if maybe he misses you at the superficial level (aka just wants to still have sex).
Your Ex Wants You Back Sign #5: He Finds Silly Reasons to Get in Touch
Is he texting you to get his toothbrush?
Does he want to return all of your hair ties?
Is he asking which records are yours and which are his?
If he’s trying to get face time with you, chances are he misses you, particularly if the reason he’s reaching out isn’t something major. I mean: hair ties. They cost what, a couple of bucks? This is just an excuse for him to see you.
If you want to get back with this guy, see him if you’re ready…as long as you’ve adhered to the 3-week No Contact Rule. It’s so incredibly important for you to have this breather after the breakup so you get perspective on what you really want. If you’re pining for him out of habit, it’ll be harder for you to determine whether getting back together is actually the right move. So take some time not talking to him…and then consider meeting up if he’s asking.
Your Ex Wants You Back Sign #6: He’s Jealous Of Other Guys in Your Life
Now that you’re all buddy-buddy with your ex, you might feel comfortable mentioning other men you spend time with, even if they’re platonic (and yes, you’re totally doing it to see how he reacts).
You: So I was at the club with Brad the other day…
Him: That ‘roid-pumped asshole??
If he’s not into you anymore, he won’t give a shit about who you’re hanging out with. On the other hand, if he instantly gets jealous whenever you mention a man (even your cousin), then clearly he’s missing you.
Now, in Heal Your Heart and Win Him Back, I don’t recommend you purposely make him jealous…
But …if you post a pic of you with guy friends and your ex makes a comment that essentially shows he’s wondering, who the fuck are those guys, then it’s possible he wants you back.
Your Ex Wants You Back Sign #7: He’s Going Over What Went Wrong
Maybe your relationship ended abruptly and for no apparent reason. Maybe he felt like he couldn’t give you what you needed commitment-wise.
Maybe you both got busy and you felt neglected so you ended it without telling him how you felt.
If there wasn’t a solid reason why the two of you broke up, he might still be confused and processing where things derailed. Maybe he’s asking himself: is there a real reason we aren’t together?
But he’s a man, so he doesn’t want to tell you he wants you back just yet. He wants to first be reassured that you feel the same. Maybe he texts that he’s trying to work out what went wrong. This is your chance to tell him about anything that bothered you about the relationship, and for him to do the same.
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This is actually a really great opportunity to put everything out in the open so that you can clear the deck and start anew…if that’s what the two of you decide to do.
If you’re missing him and feeling like it’s one-sided, pay more attention to his actions to see if he’s showing signs your ex wants you back. Sometimes you’re wrapped up in your own emotions so much that you don’t see that he’s communicating in little ways to show he misses you.
If you do want him back, reciprocate. Give your own subtle signs that you miss him too.
If you don’t want him back, pull away from talking to him. Take longer to respond to his texts. Or flat out tell him that you’ve moved on (the “rip the Band-Aid approach”).
If you are over the moon that he misses you and wants you back, roll slow, lady. You shouldn’t be in a rush to reunite. Something caused that breakup, and you need to deal with that rather than sweeping it under the rug, otherwise that monster will rear its ugly head again and again in this relationship.
And be willing to admit when it’s time to cut ties. If you can’t deal with a long-distance relationship and he’s crazy far away and neither of you can move…move on. If you don’t agree about a major dealbreaker like getting married or having kids…cut bait.
Trust me: in the long run, you’re better off ending a relationship that has no future, even if it seems insane to because you both love one another. Sometimes, as they say, love isn’t enough.
So talk to me in the comments below: what have you seen in terms of signs your ex wants you back?
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Yes I want to win him back , but he said he not ready to commit yet and he doesn’t want to waste my time and he wants to step away
Hi, I’m been a love expert all my life and here a piece of advice :l’am going through the same thing it’s just takes time but he will come around eventually and maybe ask u out.
Four outta seven he is doing. Sign # 1, # 2, #3, # 7. He’s asked twice already at our workplace, ” So are you dating anyone yet ? ” lol He even said, ” I’m surprised your still single !!! when he asked the very 1st time. ”
I am grateful for your signs about if he is wanting you back. Thanks for that.
Hey,youre on the money he has asked about have I moved on.he has shown jealousy in public said he trust being with me and love making love to me and touched me always watching me staring asked to be with me a lot of signs tell fan and friends how he feels about me even used the L word out loud to them thanks a whole lot
I’ve seen them all for sure the jealously he even asked if I love him
Me and my ex were together for 2 yrs and he broke it off 3 months ago he has a girlfriend and I am seeing someone else also but he started texting and calling me telling me he still loves me i am still in love with him but he wants us to talk for a week and see were things go but he doesn’t want me to see the guy im seeing but says if it works out between us he will tell her i just dont think it’s fair that i quit talkin to the guy im seein… Read more »
my guy ended the relationship nine months ago , on that day he told me that he had no any future with me n has another girl he is seeing
am wondering currently is saying that hebwant to meet me up, the first time I refused, the second time he is asking me for a vacation.
am still single am just worried to death, can’t make any decision, am in dilemma
I tell a big lie with my boyfriend .when he knows the truth (which i told him) in bad circumstances .and he decided and tell me move on. I call him regularly twice in a day today he asked me for sex only not any relationship . What should i do? i cant except that what he tell me?
See i used to accuse him of cheating its not because i think he is its because i got scared so i was pushing him away not intensually so he broke it off but he text me and called me a few days ago saying he loves me and misses me and i messed that up and said i dont think you love me like u say u do now he wont text me or call me did i mess this up for good and he said he needs to sit and think about the good and bad
We were together for a year and the n he dumped me for a girl that he didn’t even know but he calls me baby and baby girl still also he always says he loves me still what do I do I love him!
I was having a boyfriend before and we doing just fine before and we been talking and texting and calling each other and he told me that I don’t have to worry about some girl I know from school and he said to that grill he doesn’t want her and he said he what me and love me and care about me and Danielle ask him what to go out with him and go to prom with him he said no because he did ask me to go to prom with him and going out adate whith you think I… Read more »
I love him so much. Been 3years. Already. I see him on and off. I left him. But not cause he cheated. . was tired of him accusing me. He always had roommates. And I couldn’t put up with it. 3years. On and off. And still accusing me. That I love to him. But he wants me back. With truth. When I keep telling truth to him. We argue alot. So I leave. And he calls and calls me back. Now I am worried he had not called. I am 58 years old and he is 61. My fourth man… Read more »
My ex and I dated for almost 4 years. He broke up with me a few days ago. He was tired of my personality. This is where I draw the line. The breakup was a slap in the face. It hurt like hell and I deserved it. But I wasn’t entirely, solely unemotionally stable to him. Our relationship was amazing. But it was, I guess time for both of us to heal and grow individually. Reading through the signs and analyzing them, realizing that they are all or somewhat really accurate. We still talk from time to time. He still… Read more »
My ex an I was together for 8 years we have three children together we havnt been together for 5 years but he as got back in contact with me as he didn’t talk in about 4 years I try talking to him but I can’t as I still have feelings for him I ask him if he still had feelings for me didn’t answer I’ve block him on WhatsApp but he asnt block me plus he was the first one to start contact with me am confused don’t know why he hasn’t block me
He’s doing 6 out of 7 of these. Admits to his feelings he’s but then disappears when we fight! We’ve been broken up for 7 months but both of us admit we don’t want to let go! I’m seeing some and so is he but we e both admitted to each other that it’s not serious . So should I keep giving him space or move on. We broke up because I cheated
6 our of 7, it sounded as if you knew my story. Thanks for writing this blog.
My ex did all of these when he texted me. But when i gave him a chance to get back together with me, He got back together with me but then stopped texting. Please help. What do i do?
my ex broke up with me about 6 months ago, but recently we’ve started talking again. He said we should hook up with no strings attached. And I agreed, he calls me and video calls more regualary. I don’t know what his thinking. And I’m scared to ask as when u did in the past it pushed him away. I still love him. I don’t know how he feels about me I want him back. But I don’t know if that’s what he wants
I have met this guy;we have only veen together a short while. I find myself wondering when he’ll say he loves me.
When should this come?
My ex and I just broke up a few weeks ago.. He texted me today, just saying hey at first. I was a little suprised because we hadn’t texted for a while. He then goes, “I miss you.” and I ask him if he really does, he says yes. I asked him if hes trynna date again, and he says “I think.” and i just say ok. But, then he says he can’t because he is trying to get another girl right now.” What does this even mean? Like, why would he even tell me he misses me and wants… Read more »
We broke up because i noticed that he is not over his ex wife and they are only separated not divorced. I was also coming from a broken relationship with my baby daddy. We only dated for two months and i tried to reconnect with my baby daddy after that but things havent worked. I also felt he was trying to reconnect with his separated wife and i dont know what transpired. Now I see him posting sad quotes and he keeps sending me forwarded facebook and whatsapp funny messeges. Recently he has been sending me messeges asking for favours… Read more »
My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago because people played mind games and stepped where they shouldn’t have. We were working on a farm and living in the company house with others. After a few days he was nice again and was spending more and more time with me and less and less with the other housemates. He wanted to cook dinner together and make juices. After a week I moved into another room and he got upset and said I didn’t have to even though he said we couldn’t sleep together. However, every night after we… Read more »
Trying to work out how this can apply in my case because we actually dated online and only for two weeks and have never met!
Thank u so much for these signs, they do really make sense. My ex boyfriend texts me everyday saying hes checking up on me because he cares. He didnt tell me he misses me but he did say i am still beautiful. This leaves me confused, because when we were not talking, he posted bad stuff about ne on twitter and my family told me about those and now he jokes with me and texts me everythibg but doesnt say anything about us getting back together. Please heĺp me understand.
Me and my ex have been apart for three months… He kept posting about his new girlfriend and his achievements … Until two weeks ago I made contact apologizing because I needed to move on and let go of the guilt. It was my fault we broke up… Two days later he opens up about what exactly happened how he was hurt.. And he misses me and would love me to go over to talk… He says still has feelings for me ..i do too… But problem is one minute he is cold the next he is cool and all…… Read more »
It’s been 4 days after the breakup. He broke up with me after he found out I snooped on his phone. Then on the 4 th day he sent me a note,” I’m grateful for everything you do and help me when I need you most. I miss you a lot”. Is this a farewell or he’s thinking of giving this relationship another try…?
We’ve been together on and off for 5 plus years. Hes left multiple times and come back after a few months bc he misses me and our son. The last time he slept with another woman and told me about it and how it was a huge mistake. Told me he wasnt happy not being with his family. We ended up getting back together its been almost a year and we got into another fight and he left again. Said he still loves me he just can’t deal with all the bullshit and that hes not happy. (same excuse everytime… Read more »
Been together on and off for 5plus years. He keeps leaving and saying the same thing. He still loves me but is tired of all the bullshit and he isnt happy. Everytime its for a few months and then he comes back. Last time he slept with another women and then told me about it and how it was a huge mistake and he wasn’t happy not being at home. We ended up getting back together. Almost a year later and he leaves again and says the same thing. 2 days after the breakup a friend told me hes on… Read more »
My ex she left me for another guy and they never stayed together for aweek after she called me via phone saying that I should forgive her and give her asecond chance and I never allowed her for that, she moved on and stayed with the sisters and now it’s two months now after separation, during this period I cut off communication and it was today she called me that she wants me to be with her she changed her manners and whatever she does she is ever thinking about our relationship what should I do with her? Remember I… Read more »
WE just reconnected after from teenage year . Both in early forties now, he separated four years now. He seeing multiple people. But he keeps flirting with me asking why am I single for last 15 years? He says I am a good beautiful woman. He apologized for breaking my little teen heart taking my virginity and leaving. He came over and intense chemistry we slept together. He said he just can’t believe I’m not married to some one. I believe he has feelings of love he wants to tell me but he just stares . He could control himself… Read more »
i dated a guy for 2 months and broke up with him for lack of communiction,that was like a year and half ago but doing does periods i was with someone else already and now my ex told me he still loves me even when he had another gf(but now they are broken up)he has been telling me he misses me for a long tym before nw and i love him very much now bcos he respects me even when we were still together.am with someone currently,pls what do i do
This one is tricky for me. My ex and I are both on the spectrum, so a lot of these common signs don’t really apply to us. But he’s doing a lot of the same stuff he was doing before we initially started dating, so I’m not sure what to think. We’ve broken up twice for different issues. The first one was my fault due to an undiagnosed mental condition that was totally screwing me up and that I’ve since sought treatment for and all but completely overcome altogether. The second one was his fault and we’ve both more or… Read more »
My ex well was my boyfriend at the time told me he missed his ex so I packed up my stuff and left then I felt terrible for leaving while he was at work without telling him so I texted him I missed him and he said he missed me too so then we got back together but he got mad at me for talking to a different guy when we broke up so he started ignoring me anyways I have a new boyfriend now and he always looks at his stories that he posts of me and stuff but… Read more »
Move * on not love
It’s been about a month since the breakup and he’s been very hot and cold everytime I see him. I notice him watching my stories on social media as well. Last night he messaged me asking if I could come over and talk so I did and it turned into more and it was all amazing last night and he said that was the first full night where he stayed at our house and it was also the first night he didn’t have any nightmares. He said he miss his family (me) and he still loves me and wants to… Read more »
We are in LDR for 1 year. We used to visit each other time to time for the whole time we are in a relationship. We had a fight 1 month after I visited him in his country. We recently started talking 3 weeks ago. We now have constant communication everyday. Based on what you mentioned I have these # 1,2,4,6 signs. Actually, it came from his mouth that he really don’t know what happened to us and suddenly we became like this. The break up is also not clear if we really did break up or not. But we… Read more »
I moved to Florida to me with him, but had to come back to Connecticut for a year because of my son, once he graduates I can go back. He said he would wait and one day he said he is not going to wait and broke up with me. Now he is calling me saying he understands why I had to come back and that he will wait. I love him but he is struggling with the distance. He is now talking about a future together. Long distance is ok with me, not sure how I should respond to… Read more »
My ex and I were together for 6 months and it was perfect. Out of the blue he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and we had no contact for 8 months. In the last month he’s popped up to 2 insta story’s and we had our first Conversation at Christmas where it was like we were never apart. He messaged me in response to a tweet and asked if I was free next week to talk about us as he has free time and wants to know where my heads at. It came across almost desperate and like… Read more »
I was with this guy for about almost a yr…I got pregnant and he cheated on me n left 6 yrs pass and now he’s talking to me again he’s with the girl he cheated on me with still they even had a daughter together and he tells me he misses me n still loves me… And I still have a place in his heart and I asked him if we would be together again and he told me it’s hard he just want to ride the wave
My boyfriend and i ended things finally 4days ago when i went over to his house to move my things. He was shocked and didn’t say a word all he did was stare at me while i did my thing. It was almost like he had a million things he wanted to say to me because his expressions gave it away!! I recently received a message from him on fb messenger because we both blocked each other on WhatsApp. “I want you to know I loved you and there is nothing wrong with you whatsoever. It’s about me not you.… Read more »
My boyfriend and i ended things finally 4days ago when i went over to his house to move my things. He was shocked and didn’t say a word all he did was stare at me while i did my thing. It was almost like he had a million things he wanted to say to me because his expressions gave it away!!
I recently received a message from him on fb messenger because we both blocked each other on WhatsApp. “
I was with my ex for 15 years, 9 of them we were married. In June 2017 he told me he doesn’t love me anymore and he left. This was over 3 years ago now and I am still hoping he will come back as i love him. He didnt start seeing anybody for 14 months then he met another women, which hurt me so much, I actually thought he would come back, but I guess he was trying to bget over me even though he left. We have always been in touch with each other as we have a… Read more »
This 7 signs that we should know if your ex wants you back. This would really mean a lot. Thanks for sharing this one out
We broke up at the end of May and well to make things worse i didnt it was actually my mom that did and he believed for months that it was me. to make it worse i wasnt allowed internet access or my phone so i couldnt speak 2 him at all. and 2 weeks ago we started speaking again. he did say that he missed me and wanted me to have his kids..now im not sure if he still wants 2. so the other day i had one of my breakdowns nd told him about the fact i wanted… Read more »
We broke up a year ago and blocked me but after like a few months he unblocked me.. he commented on my social media status and asked about me.. then she texted my friend to talk to me. I want him back but im confused about how im feeling towards him. Sometimes i felt happy with him sometimes i felt not good enough for him.. i dont know what to do
He uses unreasonable excuses to see me. Like FaceTime. Asked if I’m seeing someone and apologized for what happened in order to cause the breakup
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Hi so my ex and I were together for 6.5 years and we have two kids together. We broke up about 7 months ago a month later he got into a relationship. The entire time he’s been trying to talk to me. Calls me for the littlest things. Lately, he’s getting upset about me going out with others and also recently send me a song telling me he misses me, has things to fix and that he’s trying to fix things before trying again. He tells me he misses me a lot and flirts as well. I’m just super confused… Read more »
We broke up 3 years ago. It wasn’t going well, 2 young kids, constant arguing, so I told him to leave and he did no questions asked, which hurt me to my core as I believe he should have fought for our love. He was told I cheated on him.. Anyway, 3 years later he keeps coming back stating he wants to see if things can get better. All the while having a girlfriend on the side. We have two beautiful boys, there’s no way I will settle for having half of him or less. But he’s a toxic person… Read more »
He has asked me several times if I was seeing someone or sometimes he tells me to move on but then tells me he has mad love for me, misses me and still has feelings for me. What donI do now?
i dont understand him. one minute he’s like he has a girlfriend, then he gives me attitude. sometimes, he asks me if i love him and he tries talking to me but after that day he would hardly talk to me but i suspect he still has feelings for me because he looks for ways to drive me crazy or jealous
I dont know what to do i want my ex back so much i love him. he says that he doesnt have no feelings for me what should i do to make him want me back again?