How to Fix Your “Broken Picker”: A Guide to Finding the Right Partner
Are you tired of the same old dating cycle? Do you find yourself constantly attracted to the wrong kind of guy? If so, you might be feeling like your “picker” is broken. But fear not, there’s a solution!
In this blog post, we’ll explore what it means to have a “bad picker,” why it might be happening, and most importantly, how to fix it.
What Does It Mean to Have a “Bad Picker”?
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A “bad picker” is someone who consistently chooses partners who are incompatible or unhealthy. This can lead to a cycle of failed relationships, heartache, and self-doubt.
Why Am I Attracted to the Wrong Guys?
While it might seem like your picker is broken, the truth is that you’re not the problem. It’s often a combination of factors that contribute to this pattern. Here are some common reasons:
- You’re not really picking: You might be leaving it up to fate or focusing too much on the guy’s efforts.
- You’re too focused on him: Don’t let his compliments or attention cloud your judgment.
- You have unresolved issues: You might be trying to use a relationship to fill a void.
- You prioritize chemistry over character: Superficial qualities like looks or charisma don’t guarantee a healthy relationship.
- You like a challenge: You might find it exciting to try and fix someone.
How to Be a Better Picker
Now that you understand why you might be attracted to the wrong guys, it’s time to make some changes. Here are some tips to help you become a better picker:
- Identify your patterns: Take a closer look at your past relationships. What do they have in common? Understanding your patterns can help you break free from them.
- Focus on yourself: Work on building your self-esteem and self-worth. When you feel good about yourself, you’ll be less likely to settle for less.
- Be intentional: Don’t leave it up to chance. Be proactive in your dating life and make conscious choices.
- Don’t settle: Don’t compromise on your standards. You deserve a partner who treats you with respect and love.
Remember, fixing your “broken picker” takes time and effort. But with patience and perseverance, you can find the right person for you.
These two have a very good insight and has got me thinking of what needs I’m looking for to be fulfilled. I’m in a relationship now that is not gratifying and I’m considering on giving up on future relationships. However, it is probably me. I really need to do the work on myself. I do know myself much better now (I’m 53) than my younger stupid self and I just need to get over the superficial stuff. Good information!
It’s empowering to find content that encourages you to make positive changes.
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Hi, this was very interesting! I pick always alcoholics (3 marriages, 3 alcoholics). Two I met in the a dance club the last one during a work seminar. Both of my parents were alcoholics….the question came up “what are you looking for or what are you missing”? I don’t know, I know I don’t want another alcoholic but I don’t know what I am missing to make me pick alcoholics. It is familiar to me when people drink, I say that! In addition, all my husbands were different shades of braun, all different in size and shape and character, and… Read more »
I think deep down that you think you only deserve damaged people.
And also, alcoholics are familiar to you and are your “normal”.
What I loved most about this post is how accessible it is for everyone, regardless of their experience level.
The author explains things in a way that makes sense to beginners but also adds depth for more advanced readers. A truly inclusive resource!
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