5 Games Men Play on Women (REAL TALK)

games men play

Before we get into talking about the games men play, allow me to present a couple of metaphors.

There’s this really fun board game that Jessica and I like to play. It’s called Pandemic. It’s fun because we work together trying to save the world from a plague.

The best part?

We are in it together: we both win or we lose the game together. It’s a fun collaborative process.

And, as a metaphor, this is how a relationship should be: both of you are putting effort into it. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s ok, so long as you were both trying your best to make it work.

Then there’s another type of board game (and relationship). Take Monopoly for example:  there’s always one winner and one loser. Rather than being a collaborative game, this is a competitive game.

What’s good for you, isn’t good for the other person.

And sometimes relationships end up this way. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like a guy is always trying to get something from you, and you feel like he’s playing a game with you in order to get something, then this video and article will help you clue into that fact and tell you what to do about it.

Your Coach,

Games Men Play (and Why They Play Them)

Trust me: I know how frustrating it is to meet a guy who seems like a great fit for you. Maybe you met him online or through friends. But after a while, you feel like you’re in junior high, because he’s clearly playing with you like a boy would.

There are five games men play with women. I know you won’t believe me, but sometimes men play games unconsciously, not realizing exactly the harm they’re causing.

So why do they play them?

There are many reasons. A man may be insecure and want to hook a woman and get her chasing him. He may be unsure about whether he wants a relationship with you, and so he’ll run hot and then cold. He may honestly just be a player, stringing along multiple women.

It’s your job to determine whether he’s playing games with your head and decide whether he’s worth it (spoiler alert: he probably isn’t).

So here are the games men play and how to deal with each.

1. Can I Get Sex if I Keep Taking Her Out?

calculator

Is he adding up what he’s spent on you, wanting a return on his investment? No way!

Sometimes a guy will feel like if he’s spending money on you, taking you out for dinner and drinks, then you should reciprocate by having sex with him.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m not even sure why men started thinking this, but let me just say: sex should not be transactional.

If a man is making you feel guilty about all the money he’s spent on you and hinting that he wants “payment,” run away. Fast.

You should only have sex with a man you have a great connection with. Who you want to have sex with.

2. How Many Women Can I Juggle?

Some guys try to hook up with as many women as possible. You’d think this phenomenon would be limited to men in their 20s and 30s, but older men can do it too.

Dating apps have made this incredibly easy, unfortunately.

I’m ashamed to say that I know a few men who try to see how many women they can sleep with in a week.

Yes, it’s disgusting, but it happens, so you need to be aware of the fact.

If you get the sense that the guy you’re seeing is juggling multiple women, definitely do not sleep with him (hello? STDs, anyone?) and find someone better who wants to focus on just you.

3. Can I Get Laid Tonight?

via GIPHY

Have you ever met a guy at a bar who you hit it off with? But then maybe if he tried to make a move on you, maybe kiss you, and you deflected him, did he walk away?

That probably left you confused because you thought that this might develop into something.

Sorry, dear, but you just got played. He was looking for nothing more than to get laid that night.

He wasn’t looking to date you.

He wasn’t looking for commitment.

He wasn’t looking to get married.

He wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.

I know it’s tough if you thought you felt a connection, but this man was a con artist who knew the way to your heart (and, he hoped, to your bed). Don’t feel bad. Just move on.

4. How Long Can I Keep Her Giving Me What I Want, Without Giving Her What She Wants?

You know the kind of men that play this game.

He tells you he wants to be with you. That there’s a great connection. That he wants to build something with you. But…

He’s never actually ready to commit.

He never calls you their girlfriend.

He just strings you along until he’s done.

This is what I call an emotional leach: he sucks your emotional energy from you but doesn’t give you anything back in return. Is that really the kind of man you want to build a life with?

No way! You deserve a man who gives as much as you do, who is an equal partner with you. Keep looking, because he’s out there.

5. How Can I Make Her Think She’s Crazy?

This is what’s known as gaslighting: manipulating you into thinking that YOU are the crazy one.

Here’s an example: let’s say you’re dating a guy and you have an exclusive relationship and you’re not dating other people. You notice a text go off on his phone from another girl, and it says “You’re really getting me going :)”

Because you’re a Sexy Confident woman, you don’t snoop to investigate on his phone, but you do ask him about it because it’s super inappropriate.

He says, “Oh that’s just someone from work. What are you doing looking at my phone? You’re being crazy. Stop that!”

Then you ask to see the text chain so you can understand the context of why she would say something that sounds so inappropriate.

His response? “No way. You’re just being insane and clingy. There’s nothing going on there.”

That’s gaslighting. He flat out lies (because in this scenario, he probably is cheating on you) and makes you think you’re the crazy bitch. Don’t buy into it. If your gut is telling you something’s up, don’t believe whatever he tells you, particularly if he turns it around to being your issue.

Conclusion:

I wish that these weren’t the games men play, but I do hope that now you can more easily identify them when you’re the victim of one of them.

Dating shouldn’t be a game. It should be about getting to know a potential partner and deciding whether you’re compatible or not. But the good thing about men playing games, especially when you can quickly identify them, is that you don’t have to waste any more time on these guys, and you free yourself up for a man who is sincere and emotionally mature enough to be your partner.

Which of these games have men played on you? Let me know in the comments below.

games men play
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Adam LoDolce

Love Strategist

My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story

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Patti
1 year ago

Only 5?? Seriously? There are way more than that. I am in my 50’s and I had hoped by the time got to this age men would have grown the hell up and stopped playing games! But nope you ALL play games. You lie, manipulate, cheat and are just flat out pigs. As far as I am concerned EVERY man is a flat out liar until he PROVES to me he isn’t and that can only be done thru actions not words. I am sick of all the lip service and no actions. I feel the ONLY way to get… Read more »

Jay
1 year ago
Reply to  Patti

Haha! Love it boycotting men all together

Jill
1 year ago
Reply to  Jay

Me too! Waste of my time…they aren’t as intelligent as women, delusional, and more work taking care of then a child. Who wants or needs that!

Priscila
1 year ago

#4 SPOT ON =(

1 year ago

Omg,I’m 46,and divorced with a 12 year old son.(u was only married for a year)the relationship lasted for 4 horrible years,(a gaslighter ) anyway,I met a guy for a minute at a birthday party,I told my friend I thought he was cute,anyway,we got together and have been sex buddy’s since before Christmas,something I’ve never done before,but I figured with me living 2 hours away from a city(live in small town)me having so much on my plate,why not,well he is awesome,except we don’t go anywhere,he won’t take me for a ride on his motorcycle,heck I don’t even know where he lives.i… Read more »

Aimee Jan Anderson
9 months ago
Reply to  Jodi

I’ve been single for 14 years now, so I’m not new to booty call relationships. Sometimes I straight up prefer it. But Sweety weeks at a time without responding it absolutely disrespectful!! They are always sweet and nice when you’re with them, they don’t want anything to spoil the mood that might end the night without booty!! Even a booty call guy should be responding by the next day or 2 at the latest. Unless he has an off shore job or something like that. Next tume he contacts you, don’t respond for a week, so how he reacts. If… Read more »

Rose
1 year ago

I agree with Patti. Most men are f*+^%~g selfish pigs!!! I just had a “relationship” with a 60 year old toddler. Jerks!

Kath
1 year ago

I’m in the same demographic as Patti and have had all of the games described played one me. It is both appalling and heartbreaking to see 50-something men behave like immature frat boys and wannabe womanizers. I don’t think all men are liars (and there are women who lie too), but there are fewer available, emotionally healthy men with a secure attachment style the older we get. A good man would be nice to have, but for me, not a necessity if I can’t find a suitable one. Better to be alone than in a dysfunctional relationship. No time for… Read more »

Amelie
1 year ago

Oh, the leech…It looks like he stole your words..connection, build and then when it comes to actually building..let us be friends..bleahhhh

Mina
1 year ago

I feel the same way! I am educated, attractive and kind! Why does have a woman have to play some game to get a man! Why cannot a woman be kind and authentic! I feel the problem lies with men and not the kind
woman !!!!!

Jill
1 year ago
Reply to  Mina

Agree! 100%

Mina
1 year ago

I am attractive , intelligent and kind! I have problem meeting good men. Why should I have to change and play some kind of game with a man to get him! Most are just looking for sex!!!!!

Ellie
1 year ago

To a large extent their mothers are to blame … the only way mother could get unconditional love from a male was from her son … therefore permitting him a whole raft of behaviour ensuring She remains queen bee. Some men are just *s on their own without mamma’s help though. They all oughta smarten up, or we oughta else they’ll just carry on cos they can get away with it.

1 year ago

Gaslighting unfortunately is an experience I am currently recovering from after a 5 year long relationship with a true peice of work. #4 was why it didn’t end much sooner . The gaslighting game is the most destructive game since it caused me to believe the lies that something was wrong with me , and I wasn’t enough . truth be told, I needed this cold hearted asshole to show me just how much of an asshole I was being to myself by using all my focus and energy to something so harmful and spiritually abusive. I will never be… Read more »

Felicia
1 year ago
Reply to  Jessica

Jessica Bravo well done !
You are enough!

1 year ago

ha ha hope very helpfull for Men !!

Jessica
1 year ago

What about a married man who is very flirty (compliments, touching, initiating hugs, saying he enjoys your company, self disclosure) but never takes it further than that? Now I have developed a crush on him because I eat up the attention. He does run a bit hot and cold, like flirtier sometimes than others. What is his behavior about?

Corinne Steele
1 year ago

Just met someone like this and told him didn’t want the same things. Next!

1 year ago

I think the same situation happened to me. When I was dating my ex, I felt like he is just using me. He never called me his girlfriend in front of his friends especially in front of girls. And he always expects me that I should do anything for him, but later I realized he just played with my feelings.

cassandra
1 year ago

Hand clap you 100 percent right

11 months ago

Hi,

It’s highly possible either way. Not only men do this all the time, but also women. As you said, it’s a collaborative process, both may win or lose together. It’s not a bad idea to try online dating sites for serious relationships. All you have to do find out the genuine ones. Not everyone is a player!

PS: All the 5 things mentioned in the post are true to some extent as we came across such people in our lives.

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