Imagine being able to say just the right thing, at the right time, to make a meaningful connection. It sounds like magic, but in many ways, that’s what coaching is all about. You might think you’re being complimentary when you tell a guy he’s “so nice,” but you’re actually using a romance-killing phrase that’s a one-way ticket to the friend zone.

The truth is, most women use the same simple, basic compliments that every other woman uses. “You’re funny.” “You’re handsome.” “I like your shirt.” While well-intentioned, these phrases are so common they feel perfunctory and, ultimately, meaningless.

But you can do better. It’s a skill you can learn, and the payoff is huge. Here are the kinds of compliments men love but almost never hear.

1. The Core Compliment

Don’t just compliment the obvious. Go deeper. Instead of talking about his looks or what he’s wearing, focus on what makes him truly unique. We’re talking about his character, his emotional intelligence, his integrity, or his outlook on life. This shows him that you’re not like everyone else—you notice the things that truly set him apart.

• Try saying: “You have a rare integrity about you; it’s magnetic.” or “The way you listen makes me feel so seen and appreciated.”

This works because it’s not an empty platitude. It shows you’re paying attention to his core qualities—the things that make him husband material—which is addictive and draws him closer.

2. The Special Connection Compliment

Everyone wants to feel special, especially men. A great compliment makes him feel like he’s different from all the other guys you’ve met and that he gets a version of you no one else does.

• Try saying: “You make me feel like I can drop the mask and just be me.” or “I don’t know what you do to me, but I’m not usually like this.”

To add a little flair, try this: “You know what I find fascinating about you?” Pause, look him in the eye, and then deliver your compliment. This builds a sense of intimacy and exclusivity, which is exactly what we all want in love.

3. The Masculine Compliment

Men like to feel like men, and you can show your admiration for his masculine qualities. Compliment his decisiveness, his ability to take charge, his calm confidence, or how he handles problems. This helps him feel seen, appreciated, and like he’s winning.

• Try saying: “You handle things with this calm confidence I really admire.” or “I really appreciate a man who makes things happen.”

Even simply asking for his help is a powerful compliment. It implies that you know he’s capable and that you respect his abilities. It’s a subtle but effective way to teach him how to show up for you.

4. The “You Make Me Better” Compliment

A high-quality man wants to feel like he’s not just in your life—he’s improving it. He wants to know that he brings something of value to the relationship beyond entertainment.

• Try saying: “I feel more confident when I’m around you.” or “You bring out my playful side, and I didn’t even know it was still there.”

This kind of compliment helps him feel like you value him for who he is and the positive impact he has on your life. It shows you’re not just impressed by his looks or money, but by his character and how he makes you a better person.

5. The “I See Your Future” Compliment

For any ambitious guy, a partner who sees his potential and believes in his future is invaluable. This kind of compliment helps him feel like you’re his teammate, his partner, and his greatest ally.

• Try saying: “You’re going to make a real difference in people’s lives.” or “I can already see the kind of incredible man you’re becoming.”

This is emotional fuel. When you believe in his vision and legacy, you’re showing him that you’re in it for the long haul, and that you’re ready to build a life together.