3 Dating Mistakes ALL Women Make on the Show “The Bachelor”
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I cannot believe I’m admitting this to the 182,612 female Sexy Confidence fans, but…
I admit it… I watch The Bachelor.
And yes, I like it a lot (guilty pleasure).
Beyond being ridiculously entertaining TV, there are a few critical dating lessons to be learned from this season.
And as you might expect, you’ll learn more about what NOT to do, than what to do 😛
So in this week’s video I’m going to share with you a few core mistakes you might also be making in your love life.
Is your dating life similar to The Bachelor? Leave me a comment below.
Your Coach,
Adam
P.S. If you’re ready to stop the madness and find a true loving healthy relationship, make sure you also check this out.
Summary –
1. Constantly comparing themselves to other women
In dating and in life, you need to play your game. What are your strengths?
Are you funny?
Are you smooth?
Are you interesting?
Are you intellectual?
Focus on being the best at what you’re naturally good at. Don’t focus on every other woman’s strengths. It will lead to you feeling more insecure and will drive you crazy.
For example, I don’t have a six pack, I never have and never will. If all I ever did was compare my abs to other dudes I’d sit at home every night eating Ben & Jerry’s and watching Netflix. Instead, I realized that one of my strengths was my extroversion. I continued working on being even more extroverted because it came naturally to me.
My message to you is to find your strengths and continue to work on them. Don’t make the mistake of constantly compare yourself to other women. The Bachelor breeds competition because it makes for a good show, but love is not a competition. If you’re comparing yourself to other women, you’re going to lose in the end. Be your best self, stick to your own strengths, and reframe from comparing yourself to the “competition.”
2. Being far too affectionate early on
The Bachelor provides many cringe-worthy moments. Like when the women get really excited about the bachelor and tell him early in the show how great their connection is and how much they like him. The Bachelor replies, “Yeah. I feel it too,” but he’s not… it’s too soon.
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I’m a firm believer in authenticity in relationships, but it’s important to restrain yourself from diving into intense infatuation too early. Whether or not you’re on The Bachelor or real life, it’s important to hold back on giving affection in the beginning. You’re not sure if it’s going to turn into a relationship, so giving your affection so freely can lead to heartbreak later.
3. Mistaking intense attraction for falling love
In this season of The Bachelor there’s a painful scene where Raven tells Nick that she’s falling in love with him. But when the camera turns to him you can see in his eyes that it’s just “like.” It’s way too early for love. He’s not sure how feels yet and in reality neither does she. How do I know this? Because she doesn’t know him yet.
You can be in lust with someone or you can be intensely attracted to someone, but until you’ve had those real and raw moment together you’ll never know if you’re truly in love. It’s not until the initial honeymoon phase is over that you can truly be in love with someone. Of course, in The Bachelor they might think they’re in love because… a) he’s the only guy around, b) his status is insanely high because every girl is completely obsessed with him, and c) he’s physically attractive. This doesn’t mean they’re actually in love with him.
A good rule of thumb… unless you’ve smelled his bad breath or farts, then you’re probably not in love yet.
[Like this episode? Make sure you check out: https://emotionalattractionformula.com/]
Being a bit on the sober side helps too!! 🙂
My biggest mistake is constantly calling and texting the guy I’m dating when I don’t hear from him enough.
You asked what dating habit I stopped: for me it was caring too much about getting to know a new guy. I have learned men take months and years rather than days and weeks to figure out they need to spend some time with me alone to get to know me. I have learned to stop having expectations, or being thrilled and excited when meeting a new guy, however amazing he may seem. I just put him in the fridge, so to speak. It saves me a lot of hassle. In the past I never thought it is something you… Read more »
Showing all my affection, getting easily attached , giving all of myself, body mind and soul. I am a loving person and I can’t hold back. But it screws me every time and I always end up getting hurt.
I can honestly say that I do not compare myself two other women. I have had men tell me that they felt some women were too sexually charged. And then again there have been a few that are trying to tell me that I’m holding off for too long. The biggest mistake that I find with myself though is that I like everyone and enjoy conversations with them I really like it when a man calls me in the morning while I’m driving to work and then in the evening and I believe that how you do become good friends… Read more »
I get impatient and instead of letting the guy pursue me, I end up texting and calling them way too much, I come off too needy and it scares them off. It’s that fear of abandonment I guess. Or when I have a they’re not showing me enough attention, I’ll break it off, then regret I did so, but it’ll be too late by then and they won’t take me back, then I realize that I really loved them and I’m heartbroken over the whole thing.
I can’t say I have any of these issues for this video. I tend to date like a guy and hold back and just let things develop gradually and cautiously. I do think you have some solid advice and great points . I would love to see some videos for women re-entering the dating scene from divorce or a long term relationships .
I’ve learned not to be so kind, not to be mean or anything, but just not so kind. I did not realize it came off as needy and/or controlling. I would do things like bring him some of a dish I had made lots of, or do his dishes up for him. Just being kind, cuz I am a kind person but maybe too kind gets seen differently.
I absolutely love this lasthma video. You got it all right!!! Omg you woke me up. That’s one of my biggest mistakes is to compare myself to other women. Talks about my insecurity l need to work on and you have just probivide a great tool. Look at my qualities ….Thank you soon much
I struggle with #2 a lot. Ughhhh