3 Qualities Men Over 40 Look For in a Woman

qualities men over 40 look for

Adam LoDolce

This article was written by a professional love strategist. If you want to learn the 7 Little Love Steps, click here.

When you first start dating in your teens and twenties, you likely have ZERO clues on who you are or what you want from a relationship.

This is totally normal. You’re still learning, and figuring out this crazy thing called life.

Every time you move into a new decade, you’ve banked new experiences, learned a lot of lessons, and gained valuable wisdom along the way.

By the time you get to your 40s, you’ve got a much better idea of who you are and what you want. And chances are, this is very different from the you 20 years ago.

So, if you’re wondering what men are looking for as they get older, I’m breaking it down for you in this video.

FYI: Qualities one and two are based on data, while number three is based on my own experience coaching many men in the past.

Here are 3 qualities men over 40 almost always look for in a woman.

Of course, men are looking for more than just these three qualities, and every man is different. But as a general rule, you can bank on an older guy placing high importance on these three things.


Editor’s note: Ready to attract higher quality men? Join Adam on this free webinar to discover the 3 steps to building emotional attraction

Because they’re looking for a woman who they’re not only attracted to but can also spend a lot of time hanging out with.

Looks are important, but they don’t last, and men over 40 realize this and prioritize different things now to what they might’ve 20 years ago.

As you’ve gotten older, which quality are you most attracted to in men?

Let me know in the comments below.

Your Coach,

qualities men over 40 look for

PS. If you’re ready to start making men pursue you for love, then join me on this free webinar to discover the 3 steps to building emotional attraction – Register here to get started (it’s 100% free).


Adam LoDolce

Love Strategist

My true passion in life is transforming your love life by giving you specific tools and techniques that you can use to attract long lasting love. I got started when...Read Adam's Story

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Rose Ann Marie Donald
6 months ago

Keep it up good job

6 months ago

The points you bring up are interesting; intelligence (a given on both side) friendship I understand it but I don’t think we want to admit that after a certain age. A man has to be youthful as well especially the older they get. No one wants a couch potato! It is very important, probably one of the main reason’s I date a man 11 years younger !

6 months ago
Reply to  Debi

Hell yeah girl me too.. . I want to keep youthful together

6 months ago

Why I couldn’t attract the guy I love , actually I don’t know what he is looking for , we never go restaurant together we just met in the park during the Covid but I don’t know why I love him a lot and we break up and again after few months I text him and he responded but he believed I controlled his emotions I mean for having sex I scared to have sex with the guy I don’t know he likes me or not. I have hard time and he is 40 years, I am kind and caring… Read more »

Carol Kurtz
6 months ago

I’m interested in men who are honest and considerate of all others.
There is no excuse for them to be without these traits as they have lived long enough to have developed them.

Jo A Carter
6 months ago

Honesty. A large percentage of men online are not honest about who they really are. I don’t want to waste my time or theirs to find out most of what they say is not true.

6 months ago
Reply to  Jo A Carter

Oh my goodness Jo I’m with you! I just ended an eight week relationship with a guy who I met online. He started lying before I even met him!!

6 months ago

Very interesting. I would like someone who is kind,smart and also spontaneous.

Honey Jackson
6 months ago

Hi Adam, I definitely agree with all 3 things you mentioned and that’s what I believe in too. What I look for in a man in these age groups is up-front honesty. He should be attractive, in good health, meaning that he takes care of himself, and a warm smile, a “light” still, in his eyes,someone who just embraces LIFE and all the beauty of the world that we live in, in other words, he never let the “child” within go! He must LOVE LIFE! I know that there are men like this still in the world, but with so… Read more »

6 months ago

I completely agree with you based on my relationship with a man over 40. I look for a man who LOVES to live life, is positive, spontaneous and open-minded yet also reliable and committed, meaning I can count on him to do what he says he’ll do (and actually know what to do!).. Probably most importantly, I look for a man who makes me feel like I’m the most important thing in his life by his actions and how he looks at me, which I have been lucky to find post-divorce,

Beth Ann John
6 months ago

Interestingly enough, I want the same thing in a man that men want in a woman, intelligence, nurturing, supportive, and kind, and youthfulness. Perhaps men and women are more similar than many have thought.

Penny Allen
6 months ago

Silly, loving and kind

Laurinda Vasquez
6 months ago

I am ready to listen

6 months ago

I’m 41 divorced no kids.. I’m looking for a man who is open minded and nonjudgmental… I’m finding men from 30-39 in my experience are more of this than men in their 40s .. so I’m dating younger and it’s been great!

6 months ago

Honesty!!! I can’t say it enough and still men keep lying so I keep remaining single!!

Jody Coc
6 months ago

I really enjoy these hints, tips and videos. But where can I go. To meet the man over 40 who is eligible and adventurous?

6 months ago

Most men over 50 are ready for the rocking chair, financially needy or want the woman to take care of everything! I’m an independent woman, but I’m probably the most caring and would give the right man anything. I’ve found that being nice, caring, and don’t expect a man to do it all; is always taken for granted. It seems like there has been a role reversal….

6 months ago

Where a good places to meet a good man between 55-65

5 months ago

I agree with you in these 3 points! I have experienced it first hand.

5 months ago

I am looking for Active and positive and financially secure ( not that I am gold digger )

5 months ago

the man I desire. openminded,honest sensitive cares of my needs and desires truly loves from the heart. attractive t me , understands me ,great rapore. positive, softspoken adoration of the woman I am, in my heart and spirit. does everything with great passon,knows how to entertaine me,us love me , gentle ,emotionally intelligent. Am I expcting too much ?,been not dating for 30 yrs. any suggestions.?? respect ing, supportive and knows God, a gentleman for sure.!

5 months ago

Ahh that is great thank you ! Good for special needs too !

5 months ago

Caring, compassionate, not self centered, mentally stable & willing to take their time getting to know the person before jumping into a relationship & wanting sex. So many men want to rush into a serious relationship & jump into bed before they find out if you are compatible for a long term relationship.

The more pushy for a serious relationship & blowing up my phone the more of a tuen off & faster I kick them to the curb.

5 months ago

Long story short, I had a couple of brief conversation with a guy and kinda flirty when I lived down the street from him. I sold my home and I had a garage sale before I moved and he bought my lawn chairs from me and wanted to know why I was moving away. I told him that there is nothing here for me anymore. And my son lives in California and I going to start a new chapter in my life, because my husband passed away. That was 2yrs. ago now and I recently moved back, but not in… Read more »

Margaret Leslie Mears
5 months ago

I want a man who is kind, fun, ( great sense of humor) honest and available…emotionally and not married! The man I see now is so comfortable to be with and we can be honest with each other..so freeing! I guess that is more than three qualities!

Kellie Codianna
5 months ago

I am looking for a guy that has emotional intelligence and ability to have a conversation back and forth.

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