You’ve been told a lie: “You can’t have it all – career success and relationship success.” This pervasive myth whispers that you must choose one over the other. It’s wrong. You absolutely can have both, and we’re here to show you how.

You’re successful. You’ve worked hard, put in the hours, and dedicated yourself to your career. But perhaps your relationships haven’t mirrored that success. This can lead you to believe the “you can’t have it all” narrative. You may think you win some, you lose some. But you shouldn’t have to choose. Balance is key, and it’s achievable. We’ve helped countless successful women – from CEOs and news anchors to lawyers and psychologists – find that balance.

The Unfair Reality (and Our Secret)

Let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: this conversation about career/relationship balance isn’t fair. Men often don’t face the same pressures. For them, professional success often seems intertwined with relationship success. Women, on the other hand, face a mountain of expectations and pressures. We get it. We’re on your side. And here’s a secret: you don’t have to sacrifice your career. While 10x-ing your career success won’t necessarily fix your relationships, 10x-ing your relationship success will positively impact your career. A supportive partner, confidant, and cheerleader reduces stress and creates a positive ripple effect throughout your life. Reject the false choice. They’re interconnected. You can enjoy both.

Key 1: Know Your Non-Negotiables

We’re not suggesting you change who you are or sacrifice your success. Authenticity is paramount. Don’t hide your accomplishments, but don’t let them define your entire personality. Just as you wouldn’t appreciate a man who only talks about work, avoid doing the same. Calibrate. What else defines you? What’s your unique identity? Work on having a good answer.

Key 2: Stop Blaming Your Success

Tough love time: your success isn’t holding you back. Other successful women find love. Success is often an excuse masking other issues. The truth is, the only way to attract successful men is to be successful. They think the same way you do. Your career drive likely makes you more interesting, confident, and self-sufficient – all attractive qualities.

Key 3: Make Dating a Priority

“Behavior reveals priorities.” You’re successful because you prioritize. If it’s not on your schedule, it doesn’t exist. Be honest with yourself about dating. Block off time for learning, skill-building, app browsing, and dates. You’re busy, but if a high-end client needed your time, you’d make it happen. Treat your dating life with the same importance. Being unwilling to make time can be a subtle form of avoidance.

Key 4: It’s Not Either/Or – It’s Both

You have a track record of success. Apply those same skills to dating. What made you successful in your career? Clear goals, focus, discipline, preparation. The same applies to dating. However, don’t “white knuckle” your way to love. Learn, prepare, then relax. “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.” It’s not about more effort; it’s about the right effort. Neediness and intensity are major turn-offs.

Key 5: Strategic Quitting

You’re probably successful because you’re a little stubborn. But there’s a difference between grit and unproductive persistence. Two Types of Quitting: Reactive Quitting (giving up due to temporary setbacks) is what we want to avoid. Strategic Quitting (abandoning efforts that aren’t working) is a powerful tool. It frees up time and emotional bandwidth, gives the other person the “gift of goodbye,” and puts you in control. Learn from every experience. You either find love, or you learn.