Why Your Relationships Only Last 3 Months: The Friendship Phenomenon

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Notes from the podcast:

Have you ever been caught in the whirlwind of a new relationship where everything seemed perfect, only to watch it crumble before your eyes? After the arduous journey of navigating dating apps, enduring lackluster conversations, and dodging inappropriate advances, finding someone who seems like ‘the one’ feels like a breath of fresh air. But what happens when that promising connection fizzles out?

Here’s a little teaser: We’re diving deep to unravel this perplexing pattern and to shed light on where things might be going awry.

The Heart of the Matter: A Familiar Tale of Love Lost

Time and again, we hear the same lament: finding someone is simple, but keeping them is where the challenge lies. Relationships that begin with fireworks often end with silence, leaving many to wonder, “Why does this keep happening to me?”

The easy route is to point fingers and lay blame on the sea of apparently awful partners who “don’t want anything real.” But what if the answer lies closer to home?

Reversing the Blame Game: Taking Ownership

It’s true, some of the blame rests on the shoulders of the partners we choose. However, we have little control over others’ actions; what we do have control over is our own. You are the common denominator in your relationships, and flipping the script is crucial. Instead of asking, “Why are these guys so awful?” try asking, “What might I be doing that contributes to this pattern?”

This simple shift in perspective marks the beginning of a strategic change in mindset. You’re no longer a passive participant in your romantic life.

The Truth About Continuity in Relationships

Here’s a piece of wisdom to consider: what brings you together with someone isn’t necessarily what keeps you together. This distinction uncovers three key insights:

#1. The Art of Attraction vs. The Craft of Keeping: Attracting a partner and nurturing a lasting relationship require different skill sets.

#2. Ease of Entry vs. Complexity of Continuity: It’s simpler to start a new relationship than it is to maintain it, especially if you’re not dating with intention.

#3. Foundation Matters: The manner in which you date sets the tone for the future of the relationship.

The Pitfalls of Casual Dating

Editor’s note: Ready to attract love with a proven strategy? Watch this free video to learn the 7 powerful steps

Many fall into the trap of casual dating without considering the long-term implications. The momentum of a new relationship often carries us forward, and we let it, lulled by the romantic notion that fate should guide our love lives. But what if this very idea is setting us up for failure?

Dating Strategies for Lasting Love

To sidestep the pitfalls of a pattern of fleeting relationships, consider these strategies:

-Look Beyond the Sizzle: Charm and excitement are enticing, but they can be fleeting. Instead, seek out sincerity and compatibility—attributes that form the foundation of a lasting partnership.

-Embrace a Slow Pace: Take the time to peel back the layers. A slow dating process helps reveal a person’s true character, allowing you to prioritize long-term happiness over short-term thrills.

Maintaining Momentum: The Work After the Honeymoon

The honeymoon phase can instill a false sense of security, leading to complacency. However, neglect is often cited as a silent killer of relationships. Research supports the ‘Erosion Theory,’ suggesting that relationships deteriorate gradually over time.

-Invest in Emotional Capital: Cherish the positive experiences and continue to invest in your relationship, much like you would in a savings account for a secure future.

Conclusion: Crafting a Relationship-Proof Dating Strategy

How you date is a precursor to the health of your future relationship. By dating with intention, focusing on what truly matters, and proactively nurturing your bond, you create a strong foundation that can weather any storm.

Final Thought: Integrate your dating strategy with your relationship goals. When you date intelligently, you pave the way for fulfilling, resilient relationships that stand the test of time.

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Diane Wilmot
6 months ago

Excellent podcast! My problem is I was married to a wonderful man, after dating off and on for five years, and he died eight years ago, one month after our 30th anniversary. My pattern, is to set the man free. I did it in college to a man I loved, and he loved me. I did it with my husband when we were dating. I did it with a man three years ago I loved and he loved me. I really thought we were perfect because we had literally EVERYTHING in common, to the point it scared me. Then when… Read more »

Maggie
6 months ago
Reply to  Diane Wilmot

@ Diane Wilmot~ My husband also died after mostly all 30 great years of being together. In many aspects, I find it difficult to even consider dating @ this point. It seems people’s values have changed so much.

Cathy
6 months ago
Reply to  Diane Wilmot

My friend travels alone. She loves it. You meet more people, evidently have more fun. Take your “toy” and enjoy.

Maggie
6 months ago

I thought this was an excellent video. As Adam mentioned, I wish I had known this in my 20’s ! I was previously divorced. I am now 74…almost 75! My husband of 30 years passed away 5 1/2 years ago. I believe, in all sincerity, if he were still alive, we would still be together. We were “best friends” The thought of “dating” in this time period scares me because it “seems” like many people’s values have declined dramatically. Also I am very active & have no health problems (that I know of LOL). I’m not on any medications, so… Read more »

steve
6 months ago
6 months ago

I think lack of communication is one of the reason which lead of the broken of the relationships

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