Why You Should Give (the RIGHT) Guys a Second Chance When Dating

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Notes from the podcast:

In the ever-evolving world of dating, finding the perfect match can feel like navigating through a maze with no apparent exit. It’s easy to find reasons to dismiss potential partners at the slightest hint of a red flag. After all, the dating pool is filled with individuals who, for various reasons, might not make the cut. The temptation to swiftly move on—dubbed as “NEXT-ing” someone—is a reality many face in the quest for love.

However, the danger lies in becoming too selective, dismissing individuals who might have been compatible partners. This fear of making the wrong choice, of NEXT-ing the wrong person, haunts many. It’s a delicate balance between being discerning and overly critical, the latter often a guise for avoidance.

But it’s crucial to distinguish between deal-breakers and minor faux pas. Not every mistake warrants a farewell, and understanding the nuances is key in this pursuit. This article is not an endorsement of endlessly forgiving and forgetting but rather a guide to identifying when someone might deserve a second chance.

Three Signs He Deserves Another Shot

1. He’s Not Asking You Out… Because He’s Intimidated**

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It’s easy to misconstrue hesitation as disinterest. But what if his reluctance stems from fear of rejection or the belief that he’s not good enough? This is where a “Bigger Welcome Mat” comes in. Enhancing your approachability through positive body language—eye contact, smiles, breaking the touch barrier—can encourage him to make a move.

2. First Date Jitters Manifest Differently

-The Silent Type: Men might default to letting women lead the conversation due to nerves or social conventions. Encourage dialogue by asking questions and showing genuine interest.

-The Braggart: Overcompensating for the fear of an awkward silence, he might monopolize the conversation. Here, taking a more active role in steering the conversation can help balance the exchange.

-The Awkward Beau: A bit of awkwardness isn’t a red flag; it’s a sign of inexperience or nervousness. Recognizing the effort and potential beneath the surface is essential.

3. He Said Something Off-Putting

Everyone slips up, but context matters. If his comment was downright disrespectful or hurtful towards you, it’s a clear signal to move on. However, setting clear boundaries can be a constructive response if it’s only a tasteless joke or awkward comment. It’s an opportunity to communicate your standards and observe whether he respects them.

Conclusion: The Wisdom in Second Chances

The journey to finding a compatible partner is fraught with uncertainties and learning experiences. While it’s vital to have standards and deal-breakers, it’s equally important to remain open to the possibility of growth and change. Not every misstep is indicative of a flawed character. Sometimes, it’s just a stumble on the path to understanding and intimacy.

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27 days ago

I’ve experienced all these in first dates. I found a man after several “Nextings” that also put me off with his constant talking. But I found after I got to know him better, he just needed to relax. He is a really good man. Great character. Very caring. I’m marrying him in two weeks after 18 months of dating.

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