Why Dating Success is NOT All About Good Looks
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Notes from the podcast:
Consider the commonly held belief: “Dating success is all about being good-looking.” At first glance, this seems straightforward, but the reality is far more nuanced. Let’s unravel this statement by examining four key reasons why it’s overly simplistic and often misleading.
#1. Needles and Haystacks
An abundance of interest, such as countless matches on dating apps, only sometimes translates to finding a compatible partner. In fact, sifting through numerous potential matches can be overwhelming, reducing efficiency and leading to missed opportunities for genuine connection.
#2. Not All Attention is Beneficial
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Attractiveness can draw attention primarily focused on physical qualities rather than pursuing a meaningful relationship. This surface-level interest overlooks your personality, values, and the essence of what makes you unique.
#3. The Lying Liars
Attractive individuals often encounter deceit from potential partners, masking their true intentions. This dishonesty ranges from lies and love bombing to false promises aimed at achieving a superficial connection.
#4. Assumptions and Stereotypes
Physical appearance can lead to erroneous assumptions about intelligence, achievements, and personal values. Research has shown that attractive individuals are often subject to negative stereotypes, including doubts about their intellect and unfounded presumptions about their behavior.
The Underlying Truth
Beyond the superficial, research highlights that personality significantly influences perceived attractiveness. Emotional intimacy, cultivated in friendships or relationships that develop over time, often leads to partnerships where physical traits are mismatched, underscoring the deeper foundations of compatibility.
Strategies for Navigating the Complexities
–Opt for Quality Over Quantity: Emphasize your unique qualities and values to attract fewer but more compatible matches.
-Display Authentic Pictures: Carefully select images that convey the right message, focusing on genuineness rather than superficial appeal.
This really helped me a lot! Thanks
i think that was a very accurate summary. Most interactions now seem to be largely superficial. far too many people are looking for love and happiness in the external world thru numerous people and experiences.
This gave me hope! I am older and worry that I am not attractive enough anymore. I do think, however, the first thing that happens with most is that you SEE someone, and if a guy isn’t physically attracted, isn’t he just going to move on?
Nothing I have tried has worked. I’m still alone.
I have redone myself to please others, hair, clothes, diets, attitudes about sex. Where is HE!!!!
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