Today’s a big day for me—I turn 40. And with a little more gray and a lot more perspective, I wanted to share something that feels especially meaningful:

What do mature men actually find irresistible in a woman?

Because after nearly two decades of coaching, growing, and yes—aging—I’ve learned a few things about attraction that only come with time. So if you’re a woman in your 40s, 50s, 60s or beyond, this message is especially for you.

Over the past 13+ years, I’ve coached thousands of women—most in their 40s, 50s, and 60s—through heartbreak, healing, and finally… love.

And although I’ve been happily married to my wife Jessica for over a decade, I woke up this morning asking myself:

If I were dating again today, what would I truly look for in a woman?

The answer is simple:

Substance over surface.

Here are the 5 key traits mature men crave in a woman—and why they’re wildly different than what we chased in our 20s.

1. Emotional Attraction Over Just Physical

20s Me: Is she hot? I’m in.
Now: I still love beauty—but what captivates me is emotional depth.

A woman who lets me feel her, not just look at her.

Biggest sign a man’s maturing?
He wants to make you feel safe, not just desired.
Not just seduced—protected. Your energy, your heart, your time.

2. Emotional Regulation Over Emotional Chaos

In my 20s, I confused chaos for chemistry.

The emotional rollercoaster felt electric:

• The highs were addictive

• The lows were devastating

• And unpredictability felt like passion

But let’s be real:
It was emotional volatility, not intimacy.

Now? I crave regulation. I want a woman who can say:

“Something feels off. Can we talk about it?”

That’s sexy.
Not blaming. Not stonewalling. Just mature, open communication.

3. Inner Confidence Over Performance

I used to be fooled by external confidence:

• Loud laughs

• Power heels

• Social charm

But real confidence?
It’s quiet.

Give me the woman who doesn’t need to be validated by a room—because she already validates herself.

4. Feminine Energy Over Submissiveness

Back then, I thought I wanted a woman who would follow my lead.

Why? Because deep down…
I didn’t fully feel like a man yet.

Now? I want a woman who can dance in her feminine energy—playful, intuitive, emotionally alive.

Feminine doesn’t mean weak.
It means powerful in a different way.

5. Soulful Affection Over Attention-Seeking

In my 20s, I fed on:

• Flirty texts

• Compliments

• Constant approval

Now? I crave affection:

• Presence

• Effort

• Recognition

Attention feeds the ego.
Affection feeds the soul.

BONUS: The #1 Thing All Mature Men Want

A woman who knows what she wants.

Not someone waiting to be chosen.
But someone who chooses.

And I get it—clarity isn’t always easy after life knocks you around.

You’ve likely been through heartbreak, divorce, or deep loss.
All that experience can leave you more unsure than ever.

But here’s the truth:

Your age isn’t the problem.
Thinking your age is the problem is the problem.

You’re not too late.
You’re more ready than ever.

• You know your worth.

• You’re done wasting time.

• You’ve earned clarity.

And this is the moment to attract the kind of relationship that matches the woman you’ve become.

A Gift From Me (On My Birthday)

To help you get there, I created a free training just for women over 40+ called:

LonelyToLove.com

Inside, I walk you through the step-by-step process to get clear, aligned, and ready to attract real love—no games, no confusion.

Because now?
Now is your time.