Ever wonder if someone’s a good person deep down? When you go to the store, do you return your shopping cart? Do you re-rack your weights at the gym? Simple things, right? There’s no law forcing you, but they reveal a lot about someone’s moral character. And it got us thinking: how can we use these “simple tests” in dating and relationships?

The Dating Dilemma: How Do You Really Know Someone?

We’ve all been there. On a first date, you desperately want to know: “Are you going to cheat on me?” “Are you a sociopath?” “Are you the one?” But you can’t just ask. People lie, especially the really bad ones. Over 15 years of helping people find love, we’ve seen it all. Today, we’re sharing some simple “tests” to help you get it right.

Why Little Tests Make Sense

These aren’t about playing games. They’re thought experiments, shifting perspectives and giving you insights into someone’s character. They’re about observing behavioral data – what they actually do – which is much harder to fake than self-reported niceties.

A Dozen Simple “Tests” to See If He’s the One

Long-Term Potential

1. The “Ugly Stick” Test: Imagine your partner got “roughed up by the ugly stick.” Would you still want to be with them? Harsh truth: we all age. True connection goes beyond looks.

2. Purposefully Disagree: Find something mildly debatable and disagree matter-of-factly. How do they react? Defensive? Or curious?

Values

1. A Mini Reading (or Video) Assignment: Send them an article or video about personal growth. Do they engage? What do they think?

2. Play Monopoly: Are they cutthroat? Friendly? How do they handle rules?

3. The Whoops Test: “Accidentally” drop something small. Do they notice? Do they help?

Patience

1. How Do They Handle Annoyances: IKEA furniture? Traffic? Slow WiFi? Observe their reactions.

2. Do a Jigsaw Puzzle: Can they handle frustration? How do you collaborate?

Trustworthiness

1. The Phone Test: Is their phone accessible? Are they comfortable with you using it? While you shouldn’t need their password, their comfort with transparency is telling.

2. The Puppy Test: Would you trust them with your new puppy for a weekend?

Compatibility

1. The Cross-Country Flight: Could you spend hours with them? Would the silence be comfortable?

2. The Daily Dinner Test: How does the thought of thousands of dinners together feel?

Stay or Go?

1. The Coin Flip: If you’re willing to leave your relationship to a coin flip, that tells you everything you need to know.

Important Considerations

These are thought experiments, not definitive answers. Follow up and gather more information. Remember, one “imperfect” result doesn’t make someone terrible. Use these responsibly and thoughtfully.

These “tests” are about gaining insights, not playing detective. They’re about understanding who someone is beyond the surface. So, next time you’re on a date, keep an eye out for those “shopping cart” moments. They might just reveal more than you think.