Sick of Guys Ghosting? Here are 3 Reasons Why It Keeps Happening
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Notes from the podcast:
“Ghosting”. The term itself carries an eerie feeling of being left in the dark, unsure of what went wrong. It’s the dating equivalent of a hit-and-run, leaving you with questions and confusion.
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Client Story:
Meet Joan (name changed for privacy). For seven exhilarating months, she was dating Dave (name kept because, well, let’s not shield him). Their connection? Instantaneous. Their chemistry? Explosive. Yet, on their four-month anniversary, Joan found herself alone at a bar after Dave failed to show up. Despite their seemingly perfect relationship, Dave ghosted her.
The Ghosting Tease:
The sudden silence after ghosting feels like a sucker punch. You’re left wondering, “What went wrong?” Was it something out of the blue, or were there subtle hints you missed? Could you have unknowingly set yourself up for this heartbreak?
Dispelling Ghosting Myths:
Before diving into the reasons, let’s clear up what’s NOT happening:
-He hasn’t misplaced your number.
-His phone is perfectly fine.
-He isn’t too swamped to send a quick text.
-Overwhelming feelings of love aren’t scaring him away.
-And, unless you’ve heard otherwise, he hasn’t experienced a major life event.
The Emotional Aftermath of Ghosting:
The immediate reaction to being ghosted is often self-blame. Feelings of embarrassment, shame, and hurt cloud your judgment. It’s tempting to cast blame on all men or even swear off dating altogether. But solely blaming him or others keeps you powerless. While he may not be actively seeking relationship advice, you can take control of the aspects within your grasp.
3 Reasons Why Ghosting Keeps Happening:
#1. Sending Ambiguous Signals:
-Not expressing your feelings clearly.
-Holding back due to fear of being hurt.
-Playing “hard to get” can often backfire.
-He may doubt his ability to keep you interested.
Strategy: Be welcoming without chasing.
#2. Misaligned Enthusiasm:
-Coming on too strong or revealing too much too soon.
-Spending excessive time together or discussing the future prematurely.
-Wanting different things from the relationship.
Strategy: Respect boundaries and understand that sometimes, it’s better for someone to walk away early on, saving both from future heartaches.
#3. Complicated Dynamics:
-Being unpredictable or playing mind games.
-Carrying unresolved issues from past relationships.
-Excessive questioning or jealousy.
Strategy: Keep dating light and fun. Authenticity is key. If it’s not easy, maybe it’s not meant to be.
In Conclusion:
While ghosting can often be more about the ghoster than the ghosted, it’s essential to reflect on our behaviors in relationships. By understanding and controlling our actions, we can navigate the dating world with more confidence and less heartbreak. Remember, you deserve a relationship that’s transparent, respectful, and mutual. Don’t settle for anything less!
I think this doesn’t hold men accountable for their actions..it’s like we are being blamed on what mistakes WE made on why THEY ghosted..maybe it’s just rude and cowardly and you should make videos for men on how to be a mature adult and say the honest truth instead of running like a child♀️
I highly doubt any male is out there watching dating videos and other stuff. It always hurt to see that only us women who goes from a video to a blog to a coach explaining things while guys are just you know..
This is a very useful video. After watching it I realise why I have made a very concious decision not to date especially via online apps. I can live without it, ghosting seems totally acceptable and it is not worth the energy of multiple in person dates over many months just to be never contacted again. As this is common it is a very high risk for women (I accept that women sometimes do it to men but I do think it is far less common for women to do this).
I think all the examples are great. I would agree to every aspect of this dialogue. Truly, I think we all have been at both ends of every scenario at sometime in our lives. It was nice to hear the part about some men needing the extra reassurance.
I like this a lot. Thank you
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