So you’re ready to step up your relationship and you want to come up with some hot sexting messages to send to your boyfriend. Or maybe he’s asking you to send sexts but you’re still not sure if you want to…or where to start.

If you do wander down the sexting path, you’re far from alone. In a study from the American Psychological Association,  researchers found that 88% of respondents had sexted, and 75% of those people had done so in a committed relationship. Those who were in relationships saw higher levels of sexual satisfaction than sexters who were single.

So if it could spice up your sex life…why not try it?

Researchers have found that there are scientific reasons why sexting arouses us. LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D., a licensed psychotherapist, author, and TEDx speaker, says:

“When you receive a sext, your brain reacts by activating hormones and other neurochemicals of pleasure such as dopamine,” says Dr. Wish. “For women, the attachment hormone oxytocin also gets switched on. This hormone, which is crucial to mothers, intensifies feelings of the joys of closeness. When you combine pleasure and closeness, you can get sexual arousal — even from sexting! For men, hormones such as vasopressin intensify their sexual pleasure.”

Sexting can turn a man on at any stage of your relationship. In this article, I’ll give you some example sexting messages to send to your boyfriend…

• Before you’ve had sex
• After the first time you have sex
• After you’ve been together for a few months
• After you’ve been together for a few years

Each scenario will have a slightly different approach when it comes to sexting.

Above All, Be Comfortable

This may be the first time you’ve sexted, especially if you’re new to dating all over again. Sexting certainly wasn’t a “thing” the last time you were single! Men simply whispered sexy things in your ear when you were on a date. Texting has certainly changed the dating landscape, hasn’t it?

Let me say if the idea of sending sexy texts to a man completely skeeves you out, don’t do it. You need to be comfortable.  But let me also say that sexting doesn’t have to be gross. You can find sexy words without being lewd and still turn on your man. I say give it a try and see how you feel about it. If you hate it, you can stop. But if he encourages you, you might find that you become the Cassanova of sexting!

Let’s move on to those examples of sexting messages to send to your boyfriend!

Sexting Messages to Send Your Boyfriend…Before You’ve Had Sex

Ready to hop in bed? Sexting can help!

So you haven’t done the deed yet, but you’re ready. You know it’s going to happen soon, and you’d like to create a little anticipation on his side with some hot texts. Here are some things you can say (feel free to modify to fit your own needs):

• The way you’ve been kissing me really turns me on…it’s time to do something about that.
• I had a dream about you last night…can I act it out with you later? 🙂
• You’ve been a perfect gentleman, but I’m ready to take it to the next level…
• If your kisses are any indication, I can imagine how hot you’d be in bed…
• I’m getting ready for our date. Which do you prefer? Red or black thong?
• I can’t stop thinking about how hot our first time will be…
• [in response to him asking what you’re doing] I’m in the tub…thinking of you…

…After You Have Sex for the First Time

via GIPHY

So now you’ve been with this guy, and WOW. It was hot. And positive reinforcement yields positive results. In other words, tell him he did a great job and he’ll be back for more. Let him know you’re thinking about last night and you’ll get him hot and bothered…and ready for another opportunity to make you sweat!

• Damn. We make a hot couple in bed! I’m thinking I’m ready for round 2.
• Last night was just the beginning. Tonight you’ll be screaming my name…
• I just spilled wine all over myself. Wish you were here to lick it off.
• So…I’m a little sore from last night. But it was worth every toe-curling minute…
• No man has ever made me as wet as you did last night…
• I can’t stop thinking about that thing you did with your tongue…more, please!
• [don’t write words. Just send a sexy gif]

…After You’ve Been Together a Few Months

You’re comfortable enough to take your texts up a notch.

So the fires of passion have leveled off now that you’ve been dating a few months. You know each other better both emotionally and physically, and you’re more comfortable with the sexting messages you send to your boyfriend. Now’s the time to get more playful with them! It’s important to keep sending these sexy texts to continue to fuel the fire you’ve sparked together.

• I’m at work, but all I can think about is getting to your place and ripping your clothes off.
• Care to go lingerie shopping with me today? I’ll model.
• Meet me for a lunchtime quickie? My office has a lock (we can decide if we want to use it)
• My body misses you. My vibe can’t compete. Come over tonight.
• Do you have any clue what dirty things I want to do to you right now?
• Tonight I’m going to slowly undress you…tie you to the bed…and have my way with you all night long.

…After You’ve Been Together for Years

You’ve got to work to keep the passion alive in your relationship.

It’s even more important to keep the passion alive after you’ve been together for years because those initial infatuation hormones have worn off. But you’re in the true love phase of your relationship, and that can make your sex life incredibly powerful. Focus on being spontaneous with your texts and taking him by surprise when he least expects it.

• Meet me at home in 30 minutes. You’ve been bad and need to be punished.
• [if you’re together at a bar] Would anyone notice if we slipped away and f#%!ed in the bathroom, do you think?
• I’m picking up cake for dessert. Care to eat it off of my naked body?
• Do you want to know my fantasy?
• I didn’t get enough of you this morning. Let’s go for round 2 tonight.
• I’m looking at a pic of you with your shirt off and it’s making me wet.
• Tonight, you’re all mine and you do what I say 🙂
• Let’s break the bed (again) tonight!
• I’ve been a bad, bad girl. Will you punish me?

Conclusion:

After you try out a few of these sexting messages to send to your boyfriend, you’ll become more at ease at using them to heat up your relationship…particularly if he responds positively! And what man wouldn’t? After all, here’s a woman who, in the middle of the day, is telling him how much she wants him! Sexting can help you claim your sexual power and boost your confidence: two things I think every woman really needs!

I hope that these sexts inspire you to come up with your own messages and that they help feed the fires of passion for you.

Share in the comments below: what result have you gotten with sending sexts to your man? Has it resulted in hot sex?