NEVER Marry a Man Who Has These 7 Habits
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Marriage can be a beautiful thing. But anyone who is in a long-lasting, committed, loving marriage will also tell you that marriage is hard work. Couples in those relationships devote their time and energy to making it work, and they’re both all-in on their marriage.
This brings me on to the flip side: marriage can also be a total disaster.
Have you ever had a friend tell you they were getting married, and you knew deep down that it was the wrong move for them? That they were about to make the BIGGEST mistake.
And maybe you told them, and they liked you a little less because you did.
Or you kept quiet because you wanted to be happy for them. But day by day, you watched EVERYTHING fall apart.
What I don’t get is how so many people treat marriage so flippantly.
Some couples can’t stop fighting with each other but think getting married will fix their problems.
Some couples have both been unfaithful but think getting married will stop them from wanting to cheat again.
There are couples who barely even know each other, get hammered one weekend in Vegas, and think getting married is a fun, sexy, wild thing to do.
Here’s the deal: marriage will not fix any problems in a relationship. Marriage will magnify the problems you already have and make them a million times worse.
So if you’re considering marrying a guy any time soon, this is my plea to you: be very intentional about it.
And don’t even think about marrying a man who has any of these 7 habits.
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When you’re with the right person, marriage can be wonderful, but still REALLY hard.
He’ll forget to pick a carton of milk up for you in the store for what feels like the gazillionth time, and you’ll FLIP YOUR LID and wonder why you ever married the guy.
“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE MILK ADAM; IT’S ABOUT WHAT THE MILK REPRESENTS!”
Seriously though, don’t rush into it. Forget about trying to check those boxes or hit some self-imposed deadline. Take your time. Get to know this man really well.
Because a diamond ring on your finger will mean NOTHING when you’re in a marriage that makes you miserable.
Have you ever been in a relationship with a man that had any of these toxic habits?
How did it go? Leave me a comment below.
Your Coach,
Yup! At least 5 of them and currently separated.. getting a divorce
I dated men with all traits,Was abused physical and mentally and but in the hospital by four of my boyfriend’s
Walking Power Let me Walk to this Video Any Time i need a reminder 🙂
Yes, all 7. We were together for 26 years. He just started packing for a month, saying he found work in another state and will be gone for 2 months. The day he left he said he was taking our dog for shots and He never came back, just left me without saying goodbye.
I have such respect for you. Wish I d heard you years ago,
Due to him having all 7 habits, I now have depression, anxiety, and severe trust issues.
Hell YES, I’m literally just trying to leave but having a very hard time letting go of a relationship that sounds exactly like this but the sad thing is, I can identify some of those very same behaviours in myself and a lot of the time, his are very subtle cause he’s very good at avoiding and gaslighting and turning the finger around on me.
I know what that is like.
Thank you for this accurate synopsis Adam; I am trained in marriage and family therapy and fell for a man with 6/7 of these traits! The only one missing was frivolous spending as he didn’t make much money (that I know of). EVERYTHING out of his mouth was a lie and an act which took a while to unravel. He is now targeting a friend who scowls at me every time I see her….maybe he won’t assault her though as he is in mandatory treatment since I charged him…
Great advice, much needed by any woman looking for a quality man!
Wow! I didn’t see many of these behaviors till after we were married. And now we are not.! Emotional abuse? Yup. Flirting constantly. That was before and I thought, Oh well, he will stop once we are married…NO it didn’t. He would stop the car in the.middle of the street, Run across the road and into a restaurant to kiss the waitress! And he hated to see me happy. I asked him one day, why do you want to steal my joy? That got him. I was SO relieved to see him drive away.
Thanks Adam!
Yes, my ex had at least six of these seven… Wish I had known then what I know now. Life is so much better on my own. Would definitely be open to a good relationship.
Yes, I was in one of those relationships! I divorced him!
My last guy/ fiancé could not handle any kind of inventory or feedback. He was overly critical & I shared this in a private, open setting. I did so in a kind, positive tone too. He defended his actions and claimed I was at fault. Then we broke up 2 days later on Christmas Eve, 2 days before he was slated to
Meet my family and kids
I sadly married my ex husband who has all 7 of these to the extreme.
Unfortunately I realized too late after 15yrs that he is a narcissist too. I was abused emotionally, physically & mentally. I made the biggest mistake marrying him because i mostly was young, insecure, low self esteem, low self image & worth. I eventually with support of parents, managed to walk away and divorce him. Now im a Single mom but much happier
My ex-husband hod these habits until two years into our marriage.
hid*
I can honestly say my current boyfriend has Zero of these problems. I was so worried he may fall into 1 or more and am relieved that he matched none of these toxic behaviors. Coming from a toxic marriage previously I’m gaining confidence in this relationship slowly but surely.
6 of these traits….wish I’d found this a looooong time ago! Trust me, ladies, if they have any of these traits- run, don’t walk!!! You will never be valued by a man with any of these traits…EVER! I learned the hard way! Don’t let it happen to you! You deserve better!!!!
Oh yeah. Except for the alcoholism this describes hubby #1 to a T. His was physical abuse. Hubby #2 also didn’t drink, but he was a passive/aggressive gas-lighter.
There is certainly a lot of truth to this…
Currently seperated…addiction to porn, lying, puts me down to boost his image, completely unable to receive feedback…he left the state, wants me back but on condition to come where he is ..my decision before seeing this is to leave this toxic relationship…now I clearly can see I need to divorce and not look back.
Yes, My X husband
Spent money like it was water during our dating for 5 years, lied about 26,000 in credit card debt married me without telling me, emotionally abusive, held back affection when I was pregnant and after because I didn’t look like I did when I was 22. Put me down all the time after we were married. Definitely could not take feed back at all!
Judging from the response you’ve received from this video, dating/relationship/marriage abuse is very common. Perhaps many of us learned to “manage” unsavory male behavior at an early age within our own homes. No more! Adam: thank you for being our guiding light.
My Dad was emotionally abusive and I thought if that’s what marriage is I don’t want it. I’ve been through enough yuck in relationships that I was totally understanding and agreeing with what you told us. I’m grateful you give us great information and help us wade through all the bs out there. I’ve been single again now 5 years and will not settle. I’m chatting with someone that, so far, seems great. We’re looking forward to meeting in person and getting to see if there is that spark and how we get along face to face. Keep encouraging us.… Read more »
Yes, unfortunately all men I have dated had many of these qualities, I have stopped dating altogether .
Divorcing one that cant take feedback. Also emotionally toxic.
All 7 wow
Ive been married 27 years and have no found out how controlling my husband is, not allowed out or any friends. I’m in the process of trying to leave him, but with no confidence, self esteem and only being me with no support it’s rather difficult. I’m suffering with depression as isolated. If only I had know before hand we did get married with in 6mths of meeting. I was in a vulnerable place as I’d been raped 5 months before I met him. So I wasn’t in a good place and believe now he used this to his advantage.
OMG Adam, you just described all the habits that my ex husband had and still has. I was one of those woman’s, got married, even that we flighted all the time thinking that marrying him will solve all the problems, and then BOOM they become bigger and bigger. He keeps to this date, after almost 3 years that we’ve been separated trying to make me feel that is all my fault and keeps lying to me, keeps this emotional abuse trying to make me feel bad about myself. He won’t take a NO for an answer, and I want him… Read more »
My recent ex-husband nailed all 7! This is truth!
Many years ago, when I was in my late 20’s I married a man (and stayed married to him for 10 years) who was abusive in every imaginable way: physically, emotionally, psychologically, verbally, sexually & financially. I did not understand narcissism then. I thought I could help him and over time I actually believed it when he said I made him do those things to me. Thank god I got the courage to leave him, get a protective order & divorce him. Sadly, my initial only motivation for leaving him was because I wanted to protect my infant son &… Read more »