How to Be the Perfect First Date: 20 Easy Ways to Avoid Disaster

Notes Summary:

The Art of the Perfect First Date: A Comprehensive Guide

First dates can be a whirlwind of emotions – exciting yet terrifying, especially if you’re rusty in the dating game. With 84% of people reporting a disastrous first date experience (according to a New York Post poll), it’s clear that many of us could use some guidance. This comprehensive guide will help you navigate the choppy waters of first dates, from preparation to follow-up.

Pre-Date Preparation: Setting the Stage for Success

1. Let him take the lead in planning. While you might be tempted to take control, resist the urge. Allow him to show initiative and investment. Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect – embrace the spontaneity and mystery.

2. Avoid last-minute plans. Decline invitations for same-day dates. This sends a message that you value yourself and have a full, exciting life.

3. Limit pre-date texting. Save the good conversations for the actual date. This helps prevent obsessing over text frequency and timing.

4. Prioritize safety. Arrange to meet at the date location rather than being picked up at home. Remember, safety first with someone you’ve just met online.

Day-of Preparation: Getting in the Right Mindset

1. Dress for confidence. Choose an outfit that makes you feel amazing. Dress for yourself, not for him.

2. Create a pre-date ritual. Get pumped up with music, dancing, or chatting with a supportive friend. Transition from your daily routine to “date mode.”

3. Inform a friend. Let someone know your date details for safety purposes.

During the Date: Making a Great Impression

1. Adopt the right mindset. Your goal is to have fun and get to know the person, not to find your soulmate immediately. Keep it low-stakes and avoid jumping to conclusions.

2. Flirt appropriately. Show interest, but avoid being overly sexual. Opt for playful, teasing banter.

3. Ask captivating questions. Go beyond surface-level topics. Try unique questions like, “What’s something you’re proud of but rarely get acknowledged for?”

4. Focus on being interested, not interesting. Instead of trying to impress him, be genuinely curious about him. Ironically, this will make you more appealing.

5. Show authentic interest. Don’t play games. If you like him, show it. Research shows we tend to like people who like us (the principle of reciprocity).

Wrapping Up: Ending on a High Note

1. Handle the bill gracefully. Offer to split the bill or cover the tip, but don’t judge if he wants to pay in full (or if he wants to split).

2. Resist the urge to extend the date1. Even if you’re having an amazing time, maintain some mystery. Avoid scheduling multiple dates in quick succession.

3. Decline invitations to his place. Even if it seems innocent, it’s best to end the date in a public place.

4. Kiss if it feels right. If you’re feeling it, go for it – but keep it at a 5 or 6 out of 10. Remember, you’re not obligated to kiss.

Post-Date: Keeping the Momentum

1. Send a thoughtful follow-up text. Thank him for the date, mention something you enjoyed, and hint at future plans. For example: “Life is all about choices, and going out with you was a good one. Can’t wait to see what you plan next.”

2. Pace yourself. Resist the urge to see him again immediately. Once a week is a good pace to build tension and anticipation.

3. Reflect and evaluate. After each date, take time to consider what you liked, what set this person apart, and what questions you still have. This practice of “informed intuition” can help guide your dating decisions.

Remember, the goal of a first date isn’t perfection – it’s about authenticity, mutual interest, and laying the groundwork for potential connection. By following these guidelines, you’ll be well-equipped to make your next first date a success, avoiding the pitfalls that lead to those dreaded dating disasters.