Do Men Pull Away If You Move TOO Slow?
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Notes from the Video
Recently, a client shared her dating dilemma, which perfectly illustrates a common challenge in modern dating. My client, a woman in her mid-to-late 40s, has been following the “Little Love Steps” and she’s currently in Little Love Step #5, having gone on four dates with a man over five weeks. He’s impressive and keen to move things forward, even wanting to introduce her to his kids. However, she’s intentionally slowing down the pace to understand him better.
Despite her interest, she’s noticed him pulling away over the past few days. This raises questions: Is it due to trust issues, or does he feel she’s not as interested? It’s a pivotal moment in their budding relationship.
Little Love Step Five: Pacing with Interest
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In Little Love Step Five, we advocate for slowing down in dating. This means taking time before investing emotionally, becoming exclusive, or making significant commitments like cohabiting or meeting children. However, the key is to balance this slower pace with clear demonstrations of interest.
Showing Interest While Moving Slowly:
Moving slow in dating doesn’t mean being distant. Being intentional about the frequency of meetings, texts, and major decisions like vacations is crucial. Simultaneously, it’s important to be affectionate, look them in the eyes, and express genuine feelings when you’re with someone. This approach involves sharing vulnerabilities and acknowledging the special connection.
Finding the Right Pace:
While moving too slowly can be an issue for some women (especially beyond 2-3 months of dating), rushing into a relationship is a more common pitfall. The goal is to move at a pace that allows for building a solid foundation without losing the spark of interest.
Practical Outcome and Next Steps
Following this advice, my client’s next interaction with her date will be pivotal. By expressing her genuine feelings and interest, she’s likely to receive a positive response, potentially leading to an exclusive, committed relationship. This progression aligns perfectly with moving on to Little Love Step Six.
Conclusion: Embrace the Journey with Little Love Steps
Relationships require a thoughtful approach to pacing. It’s not just about slowing down but balancing that with showing affection and interest. I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever moved too fast in a relationship? How did it go? Share your experiences in the comments, and let’s discuss the journey of finding love.
What if your relationship has consisted of some long distance throughout 5 years and he keeps talking about “taking things slow.”
Haven’t we already been taking things slow?
Is there some hidden meaning that I’m not picking up on and he’s trying to subtly tell me?
He is with someone else Hannah…. time to say… NEXT
I’d say 5 years is plenty slow — too slow, in my opinion.
This is great advice, my last relationship ended abruptly (from my perspective) 7 months ago due to his lack (or change) of feelings for me. We were in an exclusive relationship for almost a year but never expressed love or feelings for each other. After listening to your podcasts, I’m convinced that it’s my fault because I was too guarded, not demonstrative with my feelings or affectionate enough to open myself/heart more and he lost feelings due to the slow pace and inability to connect with me emotionally. Sadly, I learned the hard way after losing what seemed to be… Read more »
Thank you for sharing, in love sometimes we get burned by emotions and forget to take more time to learn.
However, if it’s too slow, we sometimes lose patience and our feelings become faded
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