Ditching the Doormat: 11 Ways to Date More Confidently

It’s important to take responsibility while dating. By doing so, you empower yourself and gain control over your love life. But what does that actually mean? How do you put this empowerment into practice? Here are 11 specific strategies to help you date more confidently.

DON’TS: What Women (In General) Do Wrong

1. Always Ready / Pick Me

– Avoid being overeager. Don’t accept last-minute dates or always be free at the drop of a hat. Waiting around for his text or developing “one-itis” (focusing on one person exclusively) can make you seem desperate.

2. “Yessing” Him (Too Accommodating)

– Don’t do everything he wants just to please him. While he may enjoy it, it doesn’t make you an equal or earn his respect. Think about how you view people who are always at your service; they aren’t seen as equals

3. “Cool Girl” Syndrome

– This involves pretending to be into everything he likes, such as professional wrestling or monster trucks, even if you’re not. Don’t give up your own interests or friends just to fit into his world. Stay true to yourself.

4. What’s His “Why”?

– Understand why he’s dating you. Don’t let it be just about your looks, as physical appearance is temporary. Similarly, don’t date him solely for his looks or success. True attraction should be based on character, which endures over time.

 

DO: Empowered/Confident Dating

5. The 7 Little Love Steps

– When you don’t have a plan, it’s hard to be confident. It’s too much to talk about the full 7 steps here, but you can learn more at http://www.thelovesteps.com . In short, it’s a simple framework that gives you the tools to feel confident and a structure that empowers you to take control and be intentional over your love life.

6. Boundaries are Beautiful

– Establish and maintain boundaries from the very beginning. Boundaries show that you value yourself. A confident dater doesn’t ignore bad behavior; instead, she sets clear limits and expects them to be respected.

7. Less Kissing Up, More Stepping Up

– Don’t seek affection and respect by being overly accommodating or fawning over him. A healthy relationship is built on mutual growth and genuine connection, not on empty gestures.

8. Ask More Questions

– Don’t let hope and optimism lead you into assumptions. Ask direct questions about his intentions, thoughts, and the future of the relationship. Seeking clarity helps you understand where the relationship is headed and gives you confidence.

9. Point It Out

– Be willing to address minor issues before they escalate. If he’s being overly sexual too soon, or if he’s dominating the conversation, speak up. Redirecting or calling him out politely helps establish a balanced relationship.

10. Lean Into Your High Value

– Recognize your worth and see yourself as an equal in the relationship. He’s lucky to have you. Focus on how he makes you feel and ensure your feelings are not solely based on his reactions.

11. Let Them Go

– Don’t cling to guys who don’t fit what you’re looking for. It’s not about getting everyone to like you. It’s about finding the right fit for you. Moving on is not mean; it’s necessary for finding a better match.

 

By incorporating these strategies, you can transform your dating life. Empowerment comes from knowing your worth, setting boundaries, and communicating clearly. Dating confidently means you are in control and intentional about your love life. Remember, the right person will respect you and your boundaries, and will appreciate you for who you truly are.