Can You REALLY Trust the Guy You’re Dating? Here’s the Formula
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Picture this: you’ve just started dating a new guy. He’s great, or at least you think he is.
The only problem is that you’re still carrying some (or a ton of) emotional baggage from a previous relationship. And that baggage can feel heavy.
What if he stands me up on Friday night, and I look like a total loser?
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What if he breaks my heart like Josh did?
What if he’s catfishing me, and someone makes a sketchy reality TV show about us?
These questions all lead back to the same thing: can you trust him?
How long do you need to know a guy before you let your guard down and start to trust him?
What are the clear signs that you can trust a guy?
I’m answering this question in my latest video.
The trust formula that I share in this video is the formula I use for trusting anyone: people you’re dating, friends, colleagues, even family.
No more trusting too soon and feeling like a fool or being guarded with people you’ve been dating for months.
It’s time to make peace with your baggage, let it go for good, and ease your mind and heart.
Your Coach,
I love it and I’m going to start using this approach.
What to do when he is doing what he promises but he is a liar…. A few years ago I met a guy who I really liked, we had a great time and he did all he promised me, but I found out he was a liar and I broke it off for that reason. I am really, really afraid to let a new guy in.
Thank you – basically knew this but never saw it so EXPLICIT – and that helps hugely re: all sorts of relationships – I love when a person stands by their word – AMEN and thank you!~
After 2 1/2 dropped my guard and he walked away with needing alone time, then still found someone else 1 month later his been with her now 1 year. His explanation was couldn’t give me what I wanted!! I didn’t ask anything of him, I brought my unit and moved and was going forward. Through I was doing the right thing by adding know pressure as we didn’t live together and we are both in our 50’s with kids and bad divorces, to this day he still saids he loves me. I haven’t had another relationship since dating him. I… Read more »
I was with my partner for 7 years and he always showed up did what he said and I thought we had a perfect relationship. Then I find out he is flirting with strange women on Facebook and was messaging them. So how do you avoid getting involved with a cyber cheater like this? I had no clue this was going on. I totally trusted this guy and he betrayed me.
I have that question and doubt too. And I really don’t want to give myself to him fully and get burned in the end. Same thing happened in my last relationship that lasted 9 years!
I’m 59 & always say at our age we all have baggage. If their baggage is small enough to fit in the airplane overhead compartment, it’s probably ok. If their baggage requires it to be a checked bag…RUN!!!
Adam of all the advice you have put out there for us this is the most informative of all to me! While I have used this approach unaware of an actual formula to use to form opinions of people, I have never heard it explained in such a clear and pragmatic way. I think I will now be able to go about this in a more concise and confident way. Not sure if when you run across someone who seems to be a person to trust, but then turns out to be the opposite, is because we didn’t really see… Read more »
Good advice. Time + consistency!
What’s the time frame though?? How long is good enough to prove consistency? Been love bombed and them dumped a month later.
I’ve been dating a guy for almost 4 years now. I have the 50-60 pound backpack of distrust I’m carrying around. He’s good, mostly, and I mostly trust him, but I see how he’s dishonest with a lot of other people around him. This is causing a battle on my heart. I want a man who’s always honest with everyone! How do I know he’s honest with me if I see him lying to a lot of other people around him and close to him? In a way I feel like I’m lying to myself. And he wonders why I… Read more »
I married a grad student in college who seemed very devoted and straight up w me. (And the chemistry was mind blowing and never stopped over the years). But he was a college bartender and skimmed from his boss. Said it was my fault as he needed $$ to date me. Decades later, I found out when he was starting up w me, his girlfriend of many years was still staying in his apt. He lied about drinking, he would fail to pay anyone where he thought he could get away w it. Told me lunching w office mates was… Read more »
I just got out of a long term relationship, so I am not ready to start dating again just yet. Kudos to Adam for putting some info out there without requiring people to sign up for his program. So many website lure you in for a 45 min spiel and never giving you any info until you buy their product.
When I am ready to commit to dating again, I will be more inclined to sign up for a program. Thank you Adam.
Adam is da’bomb!!
Thank you! I will start using this.
I love the clarity of a formula! No guess work there. I also feel like trusting one’s intuition is essential!! If it doesn’t feel long enough…it’s not. If it feels sketchy, it is. If it feels like your being played, you likely are. If you’re anxious, get some space for yourself. Even good men (and women) make mistakes, but a good man (not perfect) will agree you’re worth the time…whatever it takes!
What is considered a long period of time.