5 Ways to Tell If He’s Worth Your Time (in 10 Minutes or Less)
Ready to Attract the Love You Deserve?
Your time is precious, especially when it comes to finding love.
And if you’ve been burned by flaky texters, charming narcissists, or emotionally unavailable men, you’re probably tired of wasting it on guys who drain your energy and leave you wondering if love is even worth it.
The truth? It is, but only if you’re protecting your time and heart.
Let’s dive into five ways to quickly tell if a man is worth your energy… or if it’s time to say that magical four-letter word: NEXT.
The Real Problem: It’s Not About Time, It’s About Emotional Energy
When women say “dating is such a waste of time,” what they really mean is this:
“I’m tired of giving my emotional energy to men who don’t deserve it.”
The ghosting.
The hot-and-cold texting.
The “just vibing” situationships that go nowhere.
It’s not just inconvenient. It’s exhausting.
So let’s fix that. Fast.
1. He Makes You Feel Safe, Not Scrutinized
Healthy masculinity is grounded in emotional safety.
He doesn’t belittle you, nitpick your appearance, correct you in front of friends, or keep score in the relationship. He doesn’t make passive-aggressive comments like, “That’s what you’re wearing?”
Instead, he helps you feel relaxed, accepted, and secure—both emotionally and physically.
If you’re walking on eggshells or constantly second-guessing yourself, he’s not it.
2. He Respects Your Time
Is he flaky? Chronically late? Vague about plans?
That’s not an accident. It’s a message about where you fall on his priority list. And you should believe him.
A man who truly values you shows up. On time. With intention.
You should never have to rearrange your life just to get a half-hearted “maybe” in return. Your calendar is not a backup plan.
3. He Matches (or Exceeds) Your Energy
Sure, he might be hot. But does he actually show up?
The early stages of dating should be mutual. In fact, he should be putting in even more effort than you. Is he curious? Consistent? Matching your energy?
Or are you doing all the emotional heavy lifting while wondering if you’re imagining the connection?
As Brené Brown says, the best relationships are the ones where both people want to show up.
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4. He Connects Instead of Competing
Dating should never feel like a power struggle.
If he’s always trying to one-up you, “win” the conversation, or prove he’s smarter, more successful, or more important, you’re not building a relationship. You’re stuck in a competition.
That’s not what you need.
You don’t need to be conquered. You need to be met with emotional honesty and respect.
5. You Feel More Like Yourself Around Him
This is the ultimate gut check.
Do you feel seen? Lit up? Comfortable being exactly who you are?
Or do you feel like you’re shrinking, editing yourself, or constantly adapting just to keep him interested?
The right man brings you home to yourself. He doesn’t make you lose your identity.
If you feel more alive, more confident, and more like you when you’re with him, he’s worth your time.
Bottom Line: You Deserve More Than Just a Date
You deserve a partner who matches your energy, respects your time, and makes you feel safe, seen, and celebrated.
If you’re ready to stop wasting time and finally attract the kind of love that actually lasts, we’re here to help.
i wasted 9 years with someone all because I was afraid to be alone and felt i could not get or deserve better.. He was a narcissist, controlling, self centered, jealous, tried to make me feel horrible because of the shorts i was wearing, did not respect my boundaries or my time.
I have been single for over a year and I love it. I will never again settle! I am not ready to date, I still want to work on myself.
I have been in three serious relationships during my lifetime. The first one started out amazing, but after we became engaged, it seemed like it went downhill. I started dating this guy at 18 and married him when I was 20. I think I was in love with the thought of being married, but not with him. Long story short, we had 3 amazing children and stayed together for 24 years until we divorced. I met a younger guy and loved being with him. He gave me tons of attention and we had some amazing times together. I think I… Read more »
They say the third time is the charm. The first time is puppy love, the second is the most painful, and the third is magic. Good luck in the future. Hope you find it again. I am still stuck on #2.
Three years with a narcissist who has every single red flag. Never saw the mask of deception. Man child all the way. Never any accountability for his own actions, his blatant disrespect for my time, etc. NEXT
I really relate to this—after a few draining experiences, I realized the biggest cost of dating isn’t time, it’s emotional energy. I once dated someone who constantly sent mixed signals, and I’d spend hours overthinking everything. Eventually, I used google search and found helpful tips on recognizing red flags early. Now, I value peace over potential. Emotional safety and respect are non-negotiables. It’s okay to say “next” when someone doesn’t align.
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Instead, he helps you feel relaxed, accepted, and secure—both emotionally and physically.
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Such empowering advice—especially the reminder that protecting your emotional energy is just as important as protecting your time.
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