4 Reasons Why Men Have Commitment Issues
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You just started dating a new guy, and it feels like a dream.
It turns out you both grew up around the corner from each other.
You both want three kids.
Wait… his favorite ice cream is chunky monkey too?!
Stop it—what a match made in heaven.
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But just as you start fantasizing of Friday nights snuggled with him on the sofa with a pint of B&J and two spoons and The Notebook, reality kicks in. He starts pulling away, ignoring your texts and hoping you get the message. Or he has the courage to be honest, and tell you he’s “not looking for a relationship right now”.
But what’s going on in his head? Why do men have commitment issues, even when they meet an incredible woman? Watch the video to learn more…
I’m gonna level with you here – in my twenties, I was a total commitment-phobe. All, girlfriend shmirlfriend, who needs one? It wasn’t long before I realized I did want to meet someone special. But I had to reach that conclusion in my own time, on my terms.
So if a man has commitment issues, you’ve gotta leave him to sort his sh*t out and figure out what he wants.
Maybe he doesn’t like chunky monkey at all, and he’s repulsed that it’s your favorite.
Maybe he already has those three kids you were talking about with three different women, and the thought of a fourth is tipping him over the edge.
Maybe he’s a Russian spy undercover who got bored one night and decided to join Bumble.
Who knows?
Check out the video above for the most common reasons why men have commitment issues.
Your Coach,
Was with an Avoidant for 7 years and most recently dated a “player”…ran from both 🙂
Thank you. I am casually dating a really nice guy but he has made it clear he doesn’t want a serious relationship. After hoping he would change his mind, say about a month, I finally listened to your podcast and realized to listen to him andjust move on. Thank you!
I don’t mean to be disrespectful but if U don’t Marry the woman you’re with, then are U really Committed ? At Least set a Date for sometime in the Future so she knows you’re not just another Committment Phobe. I was with a guy for 3 & a half years: When I met him he said he was looking for a Wife – Yay !! Then after a year he confessed he was just looking for a Common Law Wife, which I do not believe in, then after a second year he said he was not the marrying “Type”.… Read more »
I think there are more reasons but these are probably the primary ones. Yes, it’s very true that men want to have their finances in order first which women don’t fully appreciate. And the Player thing is a big one–I don’t know a woman who hasn’t been burnt by that type of guy, at least once or twice! The Avoidant Attachment style is huge but, primarily, because there are oftentimes, comorbidities with other things like personality disorders. The 4th reason that you mention is Emotional Attraction but again, this is assuming the guy you are dating is even healthy enough… Read more »
I am in this situation right now. I don’t really know what to do. Some of the things you spoke of describes him, like he just got divorced again, his parents, up bringing. I mean pretty much described him. He was up front and honest. But I see him wanting to change, but something is holding him back and I do not understand. I’ve never been in a relationship like this before and don’t know how to fix it.
That is your first mistake! You WANT to fix IT! that is the worst thing you can do! I thought I was happily married with 2 children! Ha! Wow did he fool me and everyone else! 20 years and I found out he was having an affair! Not with person but 3 of my “friends” at the same time!! After all his denials and the divorce I found out he was stealing money from me before we even married!! He ended up stealing our childrens trust fund! Which was a significant amount! I kicked him out and wouldn’t let him… Read more »