13 Phone Sex Tips For Dirty Talking (Examples to Use Tonight)

You feel like you’re not connecting with your guy in the bedroom…

There’s not as much sexual tension as there once was. It almost feels like you’ve turned into just friends…

That spark is lost in your relationship and you don’t know why…

You don’t know how to turn him on anymore and it’s frustrating you.

So what can you do to keep his attention, make sure he desires you, and keep the flame burning bright in your sex life?

Something you may not have tried? Phone sex. Now, hear me out: even if you’ve never tried it, it’s worth considering. It could be the missing piece that will reignite your love life.

Why Phone Sex is a Good Idea

In an era of texting and video chat, there’s something really old school—and appealing—about getting sexy on the phone. Carol Queen, Ph.D., author and staff sexologist for Good Vibrations, was quoted on Bustle:

“Phone sex is intimate in a different way than in-person or video calling because you can’t see each other. Your vocalizations and the language and topics you choose carry the weight. It’s an extremely versatile kind of erotic play because it can involve this kind of power play-and-kink aspect, or just be a way to riff on fantasies or good times you’ve had when you were in the same bed.”

So while maybe you’ve tried every position in bed, adding phone sex, where he’s got to use his imagination to picture you, can fire up those arousal hormones in new ways. It can also bring you together: after all, you’re being incredibly vulnerable, especially if you’ve never had phone sex before.

Phone Sex Tips to Light That Spark Again

Never talked dirty on the phone? Not to worry. You don’t have to instantly turn porn star to get the most out of it. Go at your pace and try the tips you’re most comfortable with.

1. Dip Your Toes In

You don’t need to go from “hello” to “I wanna tie you up and spank you” in two minutes. Warm things up. Take your time. Engage in general conversation first to break the ice. Ask where he is. What he’s wearing. What he’s thinking about. Things will progress naturally from there.

2. Pay Attention to Your Environment

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I don’t recommend having phone sex at the grocery store! I’m kidding, but seriously, your environment matters. You should both be in sexy environments like the bed or in a steamy bath with candles. Obviously you don’t want to be within earshot of your kids or anyone else.

You could also put on sexy lingerie to get in the mood…and be able to tell him what you’re wearing!

3. Carve Out Time

Just like you’d make time for physical sex, you need to make sure you have uninterrupted time for phone sex and that you won’t be rushed because you’ve got a meeting in 15 minutes. Make sure both of you are fully available and that your phones are on do not disturb. The last thing you want is to get a call from your mom right as you’re moaning!

4. Have a “YES, And” Mentality

Okay, I admit I stole this principle from improv, but it works in this situation too. If you’re new to dirty talk on the phone, you may sometimes be uncomfortable or not know what to say in response to something he says. Have no judgment. Keep an open mind. And use that “yes, and” concept: if he says something like, “I want to lick hot cherry juice off of your belly” and you’re not sure what to say to that, try:

“Yes, and then you can get out the can of whipped cream.”

Being open to where you can take the dialogue will let you both be more creative.

5. Don’t Be So Serious

Here’s another phone sex tip: being sexy doesn’t mean you have to be serious. If you start laughing, it’s okay. You may be nervous; it’s fine to let him know that. Chances are, he’s a little nervous too, so if you can be open about that and laugh about it, you’ll become closer.

6. Try Text Too

Talking dirty doesn’t have to be limited to a phone call, especially if you’re new to it. If you’re not comfortable saying dirty things out loud (maybe your kid is in the next room), sending sexy texts could be fun and could get you comfortable with the process.

Here are a few ideas to warm you up to sexy texts:

• Tell him about a dirty dream you had about him
• Tell him what you’re doing (taking a hot soapy bath? thinking of him?)
• Tell him what you’re wearing
• Tell him things you want to do to him when you see him

7. Use it to Live Out Your Fantasy

Maybe you’re not comfortable talking about or acting out your sexual fantasy in person just yet, so phone sex might be a great way to ease into it. You could create a persona…maybe Mabel the Matrix…and pretend to be that person. Even if you’re ordinarily submissive in the bedroom, talking dirty on the phone gives you an opportunity to try out something new.

8. Tell Him What You Want to Do to Him

Again, maybe this is something you haven’t been bold enough to do when you’re actually having sex with your guy, but the phone gives you the opportunity to stretch your comfort zone. And men find it incredibly hot: describe what you want to do to him. Leave no detail out. I guarantee the next time you’re together will be explosive.

9. Let Him Know What You Want from Him

This can actually be a sneaky way to have better sex in person. Many women are shy about telling a man what they like during sex, especially if the relationship is new. If that’s the case, you might find it easier to tell him during phone sex. Maybe you like when he does a particular thing with his tongue. Or you don’t like what he does! Either way, guide the conversation toward more of what you like. If he knows what arouses you (because you’re flat-out telling him), he will be more likely to incorporate that move in person next time.

10. Build Anticipation About Next Time

Another phone sex tip is to talk about what you’ll do when you’re together again, especially if it may be a while, like if you’re in a long-distance relationship. Walk him through exactly what will happen: where will you be? What will you be wearing? Who will be in control?

11. Pay Attention to What He Likes

Everyone has different things that turn them on, both in bed and on the phone. Does he respond positively when you moan? Or does he like it when you call him certain names? If you pay attention to what’s getting the best response, you can do more of that next time.

12. Masturbate…or Don’t

When it comes to dirty talk on the phone, there’s no pressure to masturbate. After all, he’ll never know! If you’re feeling it, then great! But if not, don’t feel like you have to. Your goal might be to get him off or simply add a little spice to your physical sex life.

13. Take It To the Next Level

If you’ve used these phone sex tips and are having a blast, maybe you’re ready for something more? Try video chat. That way you’ve got the hot talk…but you’ve also got a visual to accompany it.

Conclusion:

There’s no right or wrong way to talk dirty on the phone. You can go as deep as you want…or not. Above all, be yourself. Don’t force yourself into a sexy persona that doesn’t fit. You can be yourself and be sexy, and the man you’re with will love it at any level.

Talk to me in the comments below: what have you tried with phone sex? Any success (or funny) stories to share?